𝑬𝑼𝑷𝑯𝑶𝑹𝑰𝑨 [𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒕𝒔]

you're safe | xanskies

ship: xanskies
requested: no
notes: vent fic? who knows?

in which kimetrius comforts diego during a panic attack

(tw: panic attack and mentions of self harm)

-♡-

diego ran into the bathroom, opening the stall door before slamming it shut and locking it. he slid down the wall, unable to catch his breath. he felt his heart beating out of his chest. his head was clouded with thoughts of self hatred.

he was having another panic attack.

diego put his hands on his head, gripping as if it'd make the thoughts stop. but it didn't. it never did. he shakily pulled up his sleeve, diggifn his nails into the cuts on his arm, watching the blood pool under his fingers. he did this because he needed to feel something. he needed to know that he was here. that he was alive.

his eyes went blurry with tears, trying his hardest not to cry. he tried to remember what his friends told him, that he needed to breathe. before anything else, he just needed to breathe.

but he couldn't.

he pulled out his phone, shakily typing a message to his boyfriend.

diego: kim? cann you ppleas e help mee? i nned yo u.

his fingers were shaking so bad that he couldn't even type. his was relieved when he saw his boyfriend typing.

kim: baby can you tell me where you are? im gonna come and help you? can you tell me some things you can see around you?

diego: im in the bbathroom nea r ms. smiths class. ppll ease hurryt.

kim: im on my way baby. just keep breathing alright?

diego couldn't answer. he was so anxious. he couldn't breathe. he needed kimetrius. he needed his boyfriend to hold him, to kiss him and tell him everything was gonna be okay.

kimetrius ran in the bathroom, worried for his boyfriend. he knew about diego's self harm, and it killed him inside to see the love of his life hurt so bad. he has always tried to get him to stop, but it was difficult. how can one just give up their own source of relief from the hurt they feel inside?

he could hear the familiar sniffles and stifled sobs coming from the middle stall. he knocked on the door, not wanting to startle his boyfriend by just barging in.

"baby," he called out softly. "can you hear me?"

he felt relieved when he heard a small voice respond to him. "y-yeah."

kimetrius smiled softly. "can i come in there, baby? i just wanna make sure you're okay."

he heard diego let out a choked sob before unlocking the door, letting his boyfriend in.

kim gently kneeled down, facing diego. "baby, can i touch you?"

diego nodded, throwing himself into his boyfriend's strong warm arms. "i'm sorry. i'm so so sorry kim." he cried.

kimetrius shushed him. "baby, don't be sorry. just breathe. i promise you everything will be okay. just breathe. in and out like we practiced, remember?" he comforted.

diego did what his boyfriend told him, feeling his chest rise up and down, his breathing finally getting under control. his head was finally clear, and he could think.

diego sniffled. "thank you, kim." kimetrius smiled, looking down at his boyfriend. "don't thank me. i told you i would always be there to help you." he replied, kissing his head.

they sat there in each other's arms for a few minutes, just breathing in the scent of each other. whenever diego was near kimetrius, he knew things were okay. he couldn't describe the feeling. it was new. different.

good.

kimetrius sighed. "we should get up. class ends in ten minutes." he stood up, pulling the shorter  boy with him. kim looked down to see the small red patch on his boyfriend's hoodie. he felt his chest become tight. he hoped he hadn't hurt himself.

diego noticed him staring at his arm and he pulled away. "i'm sorry. i tried, i swear-" he was cut off by a kiss from the curly haired boy. "i know you did. i know it's hard. i'm going to help you." he pulled diego to his chest, trying to reassure himself that diego was okay.

that taller boy kissed his head, rubbing circles into his back. "you're safe, di. okay? you're safe."

diego sighed. that's what it was.

safe.

did i put a picture of me up there? yes. do i regret it? yes.
-maya 💙