𝑬𝑼𝑷𝑯𝑶𝑹𝑰𝑨 [𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒕𝒔]

goodbye | playboiuzi

ship: playboiuzi
requested: no
notes: 3 am ideas are the best ideas

in which jordan and symere have to say goodbye

3rd person pov

symere and jordan weren't happy. that was obvious. they fought constantly, bottles thrown and words sliced through hearts like blades in skin on a bad night. they were both broken people, and they knew it. they were both addicts with similar addictions. they both used drugs and alcohol to heal their hearts.

and then they found each other.

a whole new addiction.

they couldn't leave each other. they needed to stay together. they helped each other.

that's why symere stayed out drinking every night.

that's why jordan couldn't stop smoking crack.

they could be better. they could stop. they were gonna be better, right?

right?

the door slammed open and jordan slowly stepped in. he kept his head down, not looking symere in the eyes.

"we can't keep doing this."

symere's head snapped up and he slowly set down his phone. he laughed nervously, standing to look at jordan.

"w-what do you mean, jor-"

"you know exactly what i mean."

"we're both actin' insane but too stubborn to change"

"i-i dont understand? i thought we were oka-"

"we're both broken, symere!"

symere flinched at the loud voice, eyes watering when jordan didn't call him a pet name. he was being serious.

"we have our addictions, and we aren't helping each other."

"now i'm drinkin' again, 80 proof in my veins"

"yeah, but it's okay! we can be better. we love each other."

"you only love me when you're drunk."

symere's heart shattered. that wasn't true, was it? he tried to think back to all the times he's said i love you, and his heart breaks even more when he realizes jordan is right.

"we both love our addictions more than we love each other, and you know its true."

symere did. but he didn't wanna believe it. he couldn't lose jordan, he was the only person who didn't walk away from him.

"j-jordan...we can go to rehab-"

"we've fucking tried that! and we relapse. every. single. time. and you wanna know why?"

"and my fingertips stained, lookin' over the edge, don't fuck with me tonight"

"we got together because of our addictions. we loved each other when we were high. tell me i'm wrong." when symere was silent, jordan got angry. "tell me i'm fucking wrong symere!"

the smaller went silent for a minute before responding.

"you're right." he whispered.

"say you wanted this heart then you got it, turns out that it wasn't what you wanted"

"we fucked each other up. we broke each other even more. every smoke, every binge. it killed us inside."

"you're right." he whispered again. tears threatened to fall over as his heart felt the weight of what was happening.

he and jordan were over.

jordan's heart ached at the tears on his lov-...symere's face. he didn't mean to hurt him. but he knew what was happening was a long time coming.

"please don't cry," he whispered lowly. "this is for the best."

"fuck you," symere stomped over to jordan who still didn't look at him. "fuck you! how can you just leave me?!"

"we don't love each other, symere! we love our addictions!"

symeres heart, or what was left of it, sank down into his stomach. more tears clouded his eyes and he couldn't breathe.

no, no this wasn't true. he couldn't lose jordan. he couldn't lose the person he went to when he felt like a mistake.

"and we wouldn't let go and we lost it, now im a goner"

"we can't be together anymore, sy. we won't survive."

symere nodded numbly. he felt like he was operating on autopilot. like he wasn't there. he was a universe away, wondering where it all went wrong.

"i'm checking myself into rehab tomorrow. i think you should do the same. i can't be near you right now."

"i want you out of my head, i want you out of my bedroom tonight"

"we need to be better people before we can be together. we have to love ourselves first."

"there's no way i can save you"

"i hope you can love yourself symere."

"cuz i need to be saved, too"

jordan walked out the door, and symere crumpled to the floor as he heard it shut.

"i'm no good at goodbyes"

wow....im actually really proud of that.

let me know what you thought

-maya💙