What Momma Don't Know

What Momma Dont Know (Chapter 1)

Chapter 1-

10 years Later

Who would have known that Ryan, of all people, would be the one to leave me waiting for him in front of Starbucks. When he finally came running down the sidewalk he looked disheveled and a bit worrisome. Ever since that 'incident' he's changed. I haven't though. My mom stopped drinking when i turned 16, she got a job, we moved, and my life sky-rocketed from there. I got a boyfriend, i started growing popular, and i began to fill out a perfect hourglass figure. However, the best thing that happened was when the police stopped the search for Jessica. The relief i felt, was amazingly, overwhelming.

Today, Ryan and i met up for the 'anniversary'. On this particular day, i came over to his apartment after hearing a staticy phone call, and saw my sister's dead body sprawled all over the floor. On this particular day TEN years ago, i was able to begin my life without that skanky piece of white trash holding me back. Ryan, however, turned for the worst. He got a job from home, barely speaks to anyone, and barely ever goes out. The longest you'll see him outside of his house is on this day. September the 17th. The day Jessica died. One thing that has kept me in contact with her murderer is the simple fact that i don't why he did what he did. So i can go to bed every night and ask myself, what motivated him? The possibilities is what keeps me coming back. Coming back to this old city, to this same Starbucks, an to the same table every September the 17th.

Ryan and I had initially lost contact 6 yeas ago. I turned 18, left the state, and moved on with my life. We stopped going back to the farm, and we stopped calling each other. Except of course for on this day. I had reason to keep coming back. I want to know what would make a man brutally murder the woman he loved with all of his heart. Whatever it was, was something juicy.

I look nothing like my sister used to. I'm more busty, bigger butt, fuller lips, with a more genuine face. My eyes are green while hers were hazel, my hair his chestnut brown while hers was bleach blonde, and my dimples barely show while hers never went away. We are our father's daughter. Or at least we were. I still am. I've always known why it is that Jessica chose Ryan over all of the other losers she could have been with. He rocks glasses, he has gentle gray eyes, his smile is calming, and his voice is deep and smooth. He looked particularly nice today, with the top of his long layered hair pulled back into a pony tail, leaving the rest hanging loosely. Only Ryan can pull off that kind of stuff. He can turn the girliest hairstyle into a sexy men's style.

Ryan is luckily the father of my only son. He doesn't know, but he just is. And my baby boy is beautiful. Sleeping with a man that used to belong to my sister didn't bother. I took his virginity in the place. We usually have a fling a few hours before i leave. Today would be spectacular. Never once had he said my sister's name. Only mine. Nicole, Nicole, Nicole, i love you. Sometimes i wonder why such a dirty secret is the thing that brought together, but the rendezvous are worth it. I wouldn't give them up for the world. I'd bought some flowers for our little memorial we'd made Jessica.

"Are you ready to go?"

"Are you driving?"

"I thought that maybe we could walk."

"Ryan, are you serious?"

"Come on, you and i used to walk there all the time."

"But it took us all day to get there!"

"Then that means i'll have you a little bit longer."

"Alright." Ryan held my hand and an old memory hit me. When we stood watching the farm house burn down, we had held hands, and blood dripped between both of our fingers. I looked down at our hands, and saw nothing. However i closed my eyes and saw us standing there. Holding eachother's bloody hands. Neither of us cried, and neither of us spoke. It was the longest moment of silence that i had ever experienced. The fire was beautiful in a bitter way. In my mind my feelings were melancholic, however in my heart they were mixed.