This was requested by sarahlovesbillie
Y/n's POV
Today was the first time I would visit my girlfriend of three years on set for Dickinson Season 2. I was really excited because I loved all the technical stuff. From the cameras and filming to the audio recording and lights. I always was intrigued by it since I was a kid. The passion got me my first summer job and my first and now girlfriend, Hailee Steinfeld. Hailee and I met on set for The Edge of Seventeen in which she played the leading role of Nadine. At that time I was more of an organizer for snacks and drinks but that didn't stop me from sneaking around and look at the cameras and stuff. We both bumped into each other on my stroll around set and hit it off pretty fast. By the end of filming she asked me out and of course I said yes. Since then we are going strong. I loved Hailee with all my heart and I couldn't see someone else in my life. When she told me about Dickinson I saw how much she loved that project and how passionate she was. Since they started filming she told me everything what happened on set. I was happy for her but there was definitely one point about Emily Dickinson that triggered me. Her affair with Sue Gilbert. I mean I'm all in when LGBTQ+ make it to the screen but it irritated me that my girlfriend is kissing someone else. Especially since everybody is shipping Emisue and flaunting it all over my social media. I had my doubts about it all but didn't tell Hailee about it because it was a little ridiculous. I met Ella. She was a nice and amazing woman. But still there always is that weird feeling when I see them on screen or in private.
I made it to the set in New York and stood in front of my girlfriends trailer where loud laughter could be heard. I knocked and the talking stopped. A few seconds later my beautiful girlfriend opened the door. "Y/nn", she squealed launching herself into my arms. We almost fell down the few stairs but I could contain my balance. "Hey princess", I said and hugged her close smelling the familiar perfume. "I missed you", she whispered in my ear. "I missed you too, Steinfeld", I told her. "I brought you something", I said and she let go of me. "What is it", she asked excited. I held up a bag. "Oh McDonalds", she yelled and grabbed the bag. "Fries", she spoke and began eating. I chuckled. "I heard fries", suddenly a brown haired head popped up. "Oh hey Y/n", Adrian greeted me. "Hey dude", I said. He stole a frie out of Hailee's hand and ate it. "Hey", she whined. "Sharing is caring", he just said and went back. I giggled. She pulled me inside where the others were seated. I got greeted and hugged and they told me everything.
An hour later they were called into hair and makeup. I patiently waited. "So Y/n, are you excited", Anna asked me. "Oh hell yes", I exclaimed. She laughed and we went to start filming.
Hours passed by and it was close to 10 pm. My butt was hurting from sitting so long and slowly I started to get tired. They took a break and I could see how exhausted they were. Hailee came over to me and sat in my lap. "I need sleep", she mumbled. "Just a few hours. You got this", I told her kissing her temple. "Mmh", she just made and closed her eyes for a few minutes. "Come on, last scene", I heard Alena say and Hailee and Ella stood up. I noticed the others stayed seated. "Uhm guys, don't you have a scene", I asked. "Oh no, it's just Hailee and Ella. You know Emisue", Anna told me and my heart stopped. I nodded and fixed my gaze on my girlfriend. Well great I thought. At first it wasn't as bad as I thought. There were few looks and some touches but nothing too close. "And cut! Alright, are you ready for the last scene", I heard. They both nodded. "Ok and action", someone yelled. Suddenly they both started to make out and I felt anger building up inside of me. I looked away. "It's ok, it's just a scene", I told myself. I grabbed my phone and started playing a game to distract myself. But the constant yelling by the directors brought my attention back over and over again until I couldn't take it no more. I made my way to the snack bar to catch my breath. "Hey Y/n", Jane said. We hugged. "You alright, hun", she asked. "Uh yeah. Fine. Thank you", I told her. "I'm a mom and I know pretty well when someone is lying", she spoke. I sighed. "It's just... I love Hailee and I'm proud of her. She loves this project and role. I'm her girlfriend I should support her but I can't when she is... with someone else", I tried to explain. "Oh you mean the kissing scenes. It's ok, Hun. You don't have to feel bad for feeling this way. But do you think she doesn't feel the same. This woman loves you. They are just friends", Jane told me reassuringly. I nodded smiling. "Yeah, thanks. It's just a little weird I guess", I said. "Well, I have to go back but we will see each other later when we go out to eat", she spoke and I nodded. Right, Hailee told me they are going to that restaurant a few minutes from here once every week. I'd rather spend time with Hailee alone but alright. Suddenly I felt someone hugging me from behind. "There you are. I looked for you everywhere. You ok", I heard my girlfriend say. "Uh yeah, just needed to walk and get some water", I told her. I turned around in her embrace. She looked at me suspiciously but didn't ask any further. "Ok, I have to get changed but you are still coming with us to get food, right", she questioned. I nodded. She smiled. She started to lean in but I turned my head so her lips ended up on my cheek. I saw confusion and hurt flashing through her eyes. "Uhm you should go get changed. We don't want to let the others wait", I just said and walked out of the room.
I slapped myself mentally. That was not how I imagined this days would go. But I just couldn't get the image out of my head. I sat with Adrian and Anna and waited for the rest.
The drive to the restaurant was filled with laughs and conversations but I kept quiet. We went in. "I need to pee. Be right back". I told Hailee quietly. She just nodded and walked with the others. I got in the restroom and took a deep breath. "Calm down, Y/n. They are just friends. Hailee loves you. There is no need to be suspicious or feel that way", I whispered to myself. I fixed my makeup a little and went back. The only spot that was free was the one at the end of the booth next to Hailee who was seated next to Ella. I rolled my eyes internally. I sat down and looked through the menu. "So what can I get you", I heard a female voice. "Oh my god. You are Hailee Steinfeld", she squealed and everybody chuckled. "Sorry. That was unprofessional. Uhm what can I get you", she said. "I'll take the burger with the fries", my girlfriend ordered. "Ah now way", Ella yelled excited grabbing my girlfriends hand. "I swear we are the same", she said before ordering the same. "Emisue", I heard the waitress say and I took a sharp breath in. This is not happening! "Could I have the Caesar Salad, please", I asked as nicely as I could. The waitress looked up and just nodded. "Can't you be a little nicer", Hailee asked me quietly. I turned my head towards her. "Can't you be a little better of a girlfriend and stop flirting with other women", I asked her back. She looked taken back by my answer but I didn't regret it. She was my girlfriend! "Hey Haizy, look at this funny video I found", Ella said pulled the brunette towards her. Did she just used my nickname for my girlfriend?! The audacity, I swear. I took out my wallet and put ten dollars on the table. I stood up and took my jacket. "Y/n, where are you going", Anna asked me. "Back to my hotel room. Not feeling good", I told her glancing at my girlfriend who was to busy laughing with Ella. I called an Uber and went back to the hotel. When I stepped in my room I let the tears fall down freely. I didn't want to feel like this but it hurt. My phone made a sound signaling me I had a notification. My instagram was bloating up with Emisue pictures from the restaurant.
A knock on my door brought me out of my thoughts. "Y/n? It's me, Hailee. Please let me in", girlfriend said. I stayed quiet. "Listen, I love you, only you. I'm sorry for what happened at the restaurant", she spoke. I sighed. I opened the door. "Babe", she said and reached out to me but I took a step back. "Y/nn, please talk to me", she whispered. "We haven't seen each other in three months and all you do is hang out with Ella. I tried being supportive but I can't. Not when I get a bunch of notifications online about my girlfriend kissing another woman. And at first it didn't bother me because this is just a screen thing but when I see articles about our potential break up and people pity me for having to share you with someone else it made me realize that I don't like it. I feel bad for feeling that way because I know how much you love Dickinson and the story behind it but it hurts. You are away way more often than you are with me and today I had to see it live when it was the first time in months we got to spend time together", I rambled and by the end I felt tears stream down my face. "Hey, come here", Hailee spoke quietly and pulled me towards her. She hold me close. "I'm sorry you feel that way. You should have told me",she said. "Well, you can't change history and make Emily Dickinson straight", I told her and she chuckled. "No, that's true but I could have told you that it's not easy for me to have this intimacy with someone who is not you. I miss you, too. But this is my job. Ella is just a friend to me. You are my girlfriend and there was and is and will be no one else. And people who ship these two are just excited that LGBTQ+ is more represented on TV", Hailee explained. I sighed. "I'm sorry I made such a scene in the restaurant", I mumbled into her shoulder. "No, it's ok. I'm sorry for not giving my girlfriend the attention she deserves", she said. I looked up at her and smiled a little. Her hand whipped away the tears from my face. "Can I kiss you", she whispered. "You don't have to ask twice", I mumbled. Her lips finally touched mine and I relaxed into her. Air became a problem and she let go. She leaned her forehead against mine. "So, how about we watch a lot of movies and stuff our faces with room service", she asked. "Sounds great but first I need to take a shower", I told her. She smiled. "Alright, I will be waiting", she said. I shook my head. "Definitely not, Steinfeld", I told her pulling her with me in the bathroom.
