Emily, Please Don't Go Away

Ten

 The time we had went by entirely too fast. Before I knew it, it was time to head back to the city. He woke me early, and we went to get a quick breakfast before beginning our drive back home. Over those two weeks, I actually felt like part of a family. It really felt like we were a happy couple. I actually felt like myself.

"So, even though I've said it a million times, thank you so much. I wouldn't have been able to make it through that without you. You are truly a godsend."

"Well, to be perfectly honest, I had a really good time. Part of me wishes it didn't have to end. I'm not ready for school to start back. I'll miss spending all my time with you." He looked over at me and flashed a smile before turning his attention back to the road.

"I'm glad you had fun. Honestly, I figured, even if you had agreed to go along with it, when we got back, you'd want nothing to do with me."

"Well, I wasn't exactly thrilled at first. However, I really was just a little annoyed that you didn't tell me the situation before driving all the way there."

"I know. That was fucked up, which is why I totally get it if you never want to talk to me again," he said dejectedly. I put my hand on the top of his and smiled.

"Well, normally, I would, but there is just something about you, Mr. Way. I'm not sure what it is, but I actually like you." He glanced over at me with an odd expression. It was a look of concern, regret, hope, and relief.

"Well, I like you too, Emily."

* * * * *

He carried our bags up the stairs as I followed close behind him. When we came to the door, I unlocked it and stepped inside. As I turned on the light, I examined my tiny, cramped apartment. He set my bag down on the island.

"So, thanks again. It was a really fun trip," he said with a feeble smile. I nodded in agreement.

"To be honest, I'm actually really glad that I didn't have to spend the holidays by myself. It was a nice change of pace to be around an actual family."

"Well, they absolutely loved you. Dad doesn't usually talk to any of the girls that me or Mikey bring home."

"I'm glad. Honestly, I loved them too. It really felt like they were my own family." He laughed nervously as he moved towards the door.

"Well, I guess I'll let you get some rest." He stepped out the door.

"Oh, okay. Well, thanks for the trip. I guess I'll see you around," I replied dispiritedly. He nodded as he pulled the door closed. I went to take my things to my room, and as I unpacked, I recounted the past weeks, and my thoughts began to race.

So, what now? Do we go back to just being neighbors? Are we friends? I really liked spending time with him. Do we pretend that this whole thing never happened? How do I do that? Why do I care? Do I really want something more than just casual friendship? Does he?

My thoughts were interrupted by a frantic knocking on the door. I walked quickly to answer it, assuming it would be Sayra. As I opened it, Gerard gently pushed by me as he stepped inside my apartment.

"Come on in, I guess," I muttered to myself. He looked at me for a second before he started pacing. I watched him as he moved back and forth anxiously, biting on his thumb. "Is everything okay?"

"No. Well, yes. I mean, I don't know. I went back to my place, but my mind wouldn't shut up." He stopped pacing and moved closer to me, so close that we were almost touching.

"Okay..." I said slowly. He reached up and cupped my face in his hands. His eyes frantically searched mine.

"What are we?" I stared at him in confusion.

Was he having the same thoughts as me?

"What do you mean?"

"Like, what are we? What do we do? Are we friends? Are we more or less? I don't know about you, but I don't think I can just go back to our casual hallway chatter. I need more than that." His expression was concerned and panicked.

So, he was.

"I... I don't know," I replied honestly.

"Do you like me?"

"Yeah, you're pretty cool-"

"No," he stated abruptly, cutting me off. "Do you like me? As in more than just a neighbor or even as a friend?" I thought about what he was asking. I definitely felt something more than amiability towards him.

"Maybe, but I'm not-" He cut me off again, but this time, it was his lips crashing against mine. My stomach flipped, and my heart started pounding so hard that I was sure he felt it. As he pulled back, he gazed into my eyes.

"Does that make you feel any differently?" He asked breathlessly. I stared at him in awe. His hazel eyes danced back and forth as he restlessly awaited an answer.

"I..." The words I had formulated were lost.

"In these past couple of weeks, I have felt more alive than I have in years. I looked forward to getting up and spending my day with you. I know that it was just pretend, but it doesn't have to be..." He looked at me hopefully.

"I'm only nineteen. Are you really wanting to be with someone who is barely an adult?"

"You may only be nineteen, but you are wise beyond your years. You are funny, brilliant, and compassionate. You are an amazing girl, and you have made me feel things that I haven't felt in a really long time."

"You barely know me though..." I tried to reason. He gently tightened his grip on my face.

"Maybe, but I know how you make me feel. I know that you are constantly on my mind. I know that you make my life a little brighter every time I see your face."

"This is just kind of crazy. I mean-"

"Do you feel anything towards me? I mean, do you think about me being in your life? Do you feel butterflies when we touch? That's what I feel. I know that this seems sudden, but I've never been more sure of anything in my life." I could see the tears forming in his eyes.

I knew that I did feel something for him. He did give me butterflies, and he made my heart race. I felt safe and happy when I was with him, and I was crushed when our little vacation ended. I took a deep breath.

"Okay," I exhaled. He tilted his head to the side.

"Okay?"

"Let's give it a shot." His eyes illuminated, and he kissed me again. This was a deeper, more passionate kiss. As he pulled away, he smiled.

"I promise I won't make you regret this."

If only I had known then what I know now, I would have never said yes. I would have run away and never looked back, but I was young, dumb, and in love. I thought I was getting my fairy tale ending.