EL'S POV:
I wake up to the sound of my alarm, and I turn it off quickly, holding the bedsheet to my body as I sit up in a bed that's not my own. I look to the side, and see Harry rolling himself over, every muscle flexing in his arms, and back as he does.
"Come back." He whines to me, and I continue to look at him.
"Absolutely not. I need to get to the airport." I tell him, and he reaches for me.
"I don't want you to leave..." He admits, and the sweetness in his voice makes it hard for me to say no. I roll back down, laying on his chest.
"You're the one that convinced me to leave early so I could go to my parents for a day... You would have had a full day left if it wasn't for your own wishes." I tell him, and he brushes my hair out of my face, tucking it behind my ear.
"Sometimes I say stupid things." He mumbles, and his eyes are looking all over my face, from my hairline to my chin, from ear to ear.
"What are you doing?" I ask, a smile coming to my lips.
"Looking at your face, I don't want to forget any feature." He tells me softly, and I lean into his hand, resting my head in it.
"You're not going to forget me, it's only a little over a week... That's what you told me." I mumble, and he pulls me down to him.
"It's real now that you're actually leaving." His voice is somber, not as full of life as it usually is.
"It's going to be fine..." I tell him, my voice changing with my words. I'm not going to be fine, and him getting emotional is making it worse for me. "We've been apart before." I try to make myself feel better, but him shaking his head shows me that it's not working for either of us.
"Let's count the times we weren't together.... When I was in Texas and you were in New York, only a few days, and though I missed you we weren't actually together. The four months we were.. Broken up. Then the two weeks that I took my time to figure everything out, but again... we weren't us... I've spent the past three months without leaving your side at all." He tells me as if I don't know, and I look up to him.
"You spent an entire twenty four and a half years of your life without me..." I fight back, and he holds each side of my face.
"I wasn't living then love." He tells me, and I roll my eyes, pushing away from him. "Why are you acting that way? What's going on?" He asks as I stand up, letting the sheet fall from my body, feeling the chill over my exposed skin.
"I'm trying to bring out the old El right now because if I don't I'll crawl back into bed, and I'll never leave, ignore all of Alessandro's calls, lose my job, and end up depressed, and sad." I tell him, being over dramatic as I pull out clothes from my suitcase.
"Can you bring out the new El? I think what you just said sounds perfect to me, you don't need a job, you've got me." He tells me, and I roll my eyes.
"Yea well without my job you don't have clothes, and though the sugar daddy life suits some women, it doesn't suit me... You can't keep me by your side forever." I joke, and he sits himself up in the bed.
"I wish I could..." He mumbles, and I sigh, pulling on airport clothes. One of Harry's shirts, and some tattered jeans. "Wearing that to the airport? A bold move for someone who's worried about what my fans think." He jokes to me, and I look down to the shirt.
"They won't even know it's yours.." I defend, and I hear silence. I look back to him, and we both laugh together, knowing how false the statement I said was.
"I don't mind it, I just want to protect you when I can..." He tells me, and I shake my head.
"You can't protect someone who doesn't want protection. It's fine okay? They can't get to me when I've got you by my side, it's all fine." I tell him truthfully. He stands up, pulling on sweatpants so he can come to me as I sit on my suitcase to zip it up. He moves me off of it, and presses it down tightly, zipping it all the way around.
"You pack way too much... You always pack way too much." He tells me, looking up to me from the suitcase. His hair curls, and parts fall in his face, and all I can do is stare at him in this moment. "What?" He asks, standing up. I lock my arms around his neck, and look up to him, his hair still hanging.
"You're pretty, that's what." I smile, and he shakes his head.
"And you're crazy... don't leave." He asks, again and I sigh.
"I have to leave..." I pout my lip out, and he touches it with his thumb, letting his hand hold my face.
"Seems like you're always leaving me for Milan, is this going to be reoccuring or will this be the last time?" He jokes, and I tilt my head.
"Technically I'm leaving for Georgia, not Milan just yet, and you're making this worse... let's just not talk about it." I mumble, my chest actually tightening, my feelings actually coming out now. I move away from him, and pick my suitcase up from the floor.
"Hey, come on, don't be like that... We can't just not talk about it because it's real and it's happening, don't push your feelings away." He pushes me, and I snap.
"So you want me to boohoo and cry in front of you? You want me to tell you everything about how I can't stand leaving you, and how I'm going to be sad? Well I'm not going to do that because no matter how much I change as a person, I'm not going to cry over things I can't change. Stop pushing me." I break, and turn away from him, and he grabs my wrist.
"That's what we're not going to do." He turns me back, and I glare at him. "We're not going to sit here, and get upset with me, and walk out, leaving on a bad note. I thought we moved past this." He tells me, and I scoff at him.
"And I thought we moved past you always trying your hardest to pull everything out of me when I obviously don't want to talk about it. When will enough be enough for you? Do I need to physically cut myself open, and bleed for you to give you what you want?" I ask, and he looks at me in shock.
"El, what are you talking about? Why are we fighting, especially right now?" He asks me, and I sigh.
"Because. I'm stressed out, I'm leaving you and I don't want to, I'm seeing my family, and I don't really want to right now considering I know what's waiting for me when I leave them and go back to Milan where there's going to be constant work... You're forcing me to feel something I'm pushing away so I can do what I need to do, and I really just don't have time for that right now." I tell him truthfully, and he takes a step towards me, holding my shoulders at first, and then pulling me to him, despite my crossed arms.
"I'm sorry okay? It's hard for me to accept it sometimes when I tell you how I'm feeling at all times, and you aren't the same... I'm trying El, I'm sorry... Please don't let this be the way we leave things." He mumbles, and I take my arms, and put them around him, breathing in his scent, feeling his warmth.
"I didn't mean to snap, I just... I really don't want to leave no matter what it seems like." I tell him truthfully, and squeeze my eyes shut as I hold him.
"I understand it darling... I love you." He mumbles, his breath pushing my hair back.
"I love you." I tell him, and he pulls back. He brushes my hair behind my ears, and kisses the top of my forehead, and then my lips, staying there. We mold together, savoring the taste of one another as the time slips away from us, and I pull back, knowing it's time for me to leave. "I have to go... You still want to drive me to the airport?" I ask, and he nods, walking to his closet to change. While he changes, I take my suitcase downstairs, keeping my purse on my shoulder, and my backpack on my back. He comes down moments later in his street clothes, sunglasses pushing his hair back. He lifts my suitcase for me, bringing it to his car. He puts everything in, and we get in together. He stays quiet the whole way there, but he keeps his hand on mine, running his thumb over my knuckles.
We're acting like babies right now, both of us sad over the fact that we aren't going to see each other for a few measly days, but it feels like more than that. It feels like a part of me is gone, and I know I should be scared that I feel this way, but right now I'm not thinking about that. I'm thinking of the fact that I don't want to be without him because it's making all of this seem like hell. Working in Milan because the head of Gucci asked me too seems like hell. Seeing Milo, and Angelina seems like hell, spending the week in a foreign country with my best friend seems like hell all because he won't be there, and it pisses me off that I'm feeling that. We pull up to the airport, and he reaches for the door handle, but I put my hand over his, stopping him.
"We should say goodbye here... I'm sorry, I don't want pictures of our goodbye, something that's supposed to be private all over the internet.." I tell him, and he leans over the center console, pulling me in. "I love you, I'm already counting down the days." I tell him, and he squeezes me tightly.
"I love you darling, I can't wait to see everything you accomplish... See you in Milan love." He tells me, and I smile at the words.
"I'll see you in Milan." I repeat the words back, and kiss him quickly, but he stops me, and I smile softly, my eyes giving him the look.
"One more."
"One more." I mimic him as he says the words, knowing they were going to come. "You know me too well." He mumbles, leaning in once more for a single kiss. I pull away, and get out of the car, pulling my suitcase out. I move away from the car, not looking back until I hear his voice. "Hey..." I turn to look at him. "I love you, call me when you land." He calls back to me, and I nod, blowing him a kiss, and turning around again, walking into LAX. I make it through security, and bag check without any time to waste, finally walking to the terminal. Anthony isn't leaving LA till tomorrow, but he's flying straight to Milan, no stops along the way. I feel bad for him with the flight, that's an entire fourteen hours. Mine is only ten after this one, but I don't mind it, I've got a book to finish. I board the plane, and once I do my headphones are in, and my book is open.
The book is over before I know it, and so is this flight. I get off the plane slowly, and get to baggage claim. I look at my phone and it's two in the afternoon now, but that's Georgia time. I don't want to call Harry, knowing he could have gone back to sleep after he dropped me off, but he also asked me to call when I landed, and I know him. If he's not asleep he'll get upset that I didn't call and if he is asleep he'll be upset he didn't wake up to a missed call. I call him, waiting for my bag, and within seconds he answers.
"Are you there, and safe?" He asks, and I smile, hearing the panic in his voice.
"I am here, and I'm waiting for my suitcase... Calm down, and go back to bed please... You need rest, god knows you're not going to get any while you're in Europe." I mumble, seeing my suitcase on the conveyor belt. I walk forward, and lift it up, moving from the groups of people.
"I was waiting for your call, and I've been writing, I don't need to sleep." He tells me, and I hear the sound of his guitar being moved in the background.
"Well you got my call, and you do need sleep, lots of it... I'm going to rent a car, I'll call you tonight okay?" I ask him, and he sighs.
"Tell your parents I said hello... I love you, please be safe El." He tells me.
"I love you, and I'll tell them." I hang the phone up, and go to the rental area right next to the airport. I get a car, load everything in to it, and then embark on the hour long drive to Waleska. Once I pull up to the familiar house I get out of the car, and mentally prepare myself for the worst. I don't know what my dad looks like. It's been almost two months. He started chemo right when he got back from LA, and I know that after all the research I did that the sickness itself is enough to take him away from me, not just the chemo. I lug my suitcase up the steps, and open the front door, feeling welcomed at the smell of food.
"Is that my Ellie bug?" I hear my dad call from the living room, and I leave my suitcase by the front door, closing it behind me. I walk deep into the house.
"I'm home." I smile, and I walk in seeing my mom in the kitchen cooking food. I walk to her first, and she wraps me in one of her bone crushing hugs. I welcome it though. "Hi momma." I smile, and she lets me.
"Eileen, why didn't you bring the boy with you? He didn't want to see your family?" She asks me, and I shake my head.
"That's not true, he's going to Paris tomorrow so he couldn't make it here." I tell her.
"That ain't true! That boy didn't come because he don't know that I'm sick!" I can hear my dad, and I turn to see his head looking over the back of the couch as he sits there. He's wearing his world famous ford hat but it looks different, there's no hair peeking out from underneath it anymore, and my stomach drops.
"Hi daddy." I smile, and walk into the kitchen.
"Eileen Mae Montgomery is that true? Does your boyfriend not know about your daddy?" My mom asks as I sit in the reclining chair across from my dad. I haven't looked at him in full yet. I look to my mom, and sigh.
"No he doesn't but he's going to... You guys I need to tell him after a lot of the work we're doing gets finished because if I don't he's going to make sure I have nothing to work on, he'll push it all away because that's what he does, and if I don't have work I'll go insane... I promise I'm going to tell him." I tell both of my parents.
"Well Ellie bug you ain't got forever... You do know that don't you? You gotta tell him before it's too late." He tells me, and I sigh, looking at him now. He's thinned out a lot, he doesn't even look like himself right now which shocks me... This isn't my dad in front of me, this is someone else.
"I know I don't have forever. I just need to figure everything out right now... After Milan I will tell him, and that's a promise." I tell both of them, and my mom gets plates down from the cabinet, and lays food on all of them, bringing plates to the table.
"Come get your lunch. Now, tell me what the hell you're doing going to Europe and all." My mom tells me, and my dad slowly makes his way to the table after me, his feet dragging as he does.
"I'm going for a fashion show, I'll be in Milan again." I tell both of them, and I look to my dad. "Have you been around to shooting?" I ask my dad, and he smiles, taking his fork in between his fingers.
"Look at me bug... I can't go out there alone, and your momma don't know how to shoot. I'll be fine." He tells me, and I shake my head.
"We can go out today... I know how to shoot daddy, let me come with you." I tell him, and he smiles, looking at my mom.
"That sounds perfect bug, after we eat we'll go out." He tells me, and my mom smiles. We eat together, and my mom asks me about Harry. I pass on the message to them that he says hello, and they're happy that everything is going well between us. After we finish I help my dad out back, carrying his gun on my back, and bringing my old hand gun I used to shoot all the time when I lived here. He takes a while to get down the stairs, and I wait by his side, helping him as I do, and I grab one of the deck chairs with me, walking slowly by his side. We get down to the lake where the shooting range is, and I set the chair down for him, letting him sit down. "I feel old as hell." He mumbles with a laugh, and I shake my head.
"You're not old daddy... you're just sick." I tell him, and he sighs.
"That I am... Let me get first target bug." He mumbles, and I hand him his gun. He lifts it up, and he cocks it, shooting it, and missing the target which is very unlike him. My heart hurts a bit, knowing he wouldn't have missed a few months ago. "This thing has more of a kick than I remember it having." He tells me, and I smile, knowing he's making an excuse. He shoots again, and hits the target this time, but not the middle of the target. He keeps shooting, and gets closer, and closer with time. "You and that boy are really doing alright? You're not just telling me that?" He asks, and I smile.
"We're doin fine daddy. No problems at all." I tell him, and he looks up at me from his chair.
"You didn't come see me because you needed to get away from him?" He asks, and I shake my head no.
"I had to go for work, I just left a day earlier so I could see you... I'm doing what you asked me to do daddy, I'm living my life just like you asked." I promise him, and he situates himself.
"So you're gonna be with this one forever." He says it as a statement, and I look down at him.
"I haven't really thought about it. I thought about the fact that I don't want to be with anyone else, but that doesn't mean we're going to stay together... sometimes things don't work out." I tell him truthfully.
"You two are going to be together for the rest of your lives. You don't need a ring to tell you that, I see the way he looks at you, and I hear the way you talk about him." He tells me, and I stay quiet. "You gonna name one of your kids after me?" He asks, and he has a cocky smile on his lips causing me to roll my eyes.
"I don't even want to think about having kids daddy, so I'm definitely not going to be thinking about their names. It's my turn." I take the attention off of me, and start shooting, ignoring the hurt feeling in my chest. This is not what I wanted to talk about, and this isn't what I wanted to feel when I saw him. I didn't want to talk about my future as if he's not going to be in it. I didn't want to come here at all because I knew I'd be thinking of what's to come with the fate of my father. He doesn't deserve to die, no one does, but my dad doesn't especially, he deserves to live a long, and happy life, but I can't think of this now or I'll cry, and if I cry he'll get upset with me, and I can't deal with another pep talk from him right now.
We stayed outside until the sun started setting, and I helped him back inside afterwards. We went in, and he took his place back on the couch. My mom then proceeded to pull out birthday presents for me. I told her I didn't need anything but I opened them anyway, and laughed with my parents. I really do enjoy spending time with them despite how sick my dad looks right now. Apparently he's been sleeping on the couch because he doesn't want to take the time to go up the stairs, so I stayed with him here tonight, sleeping on the couch. I texted Harry telling him I was going to bed, and passed on the message from my parents to him. I'm glad I'm staying on the couch because that way I don't have to go into my empty shell of a bedroom. It's morning now, and I'm getting ready to go to Milan. Anthony is already on a flight there so I should be getting there around the same time as him.
"Ellie bug?" I hear my dad's voice from the couch, and I walk from the hall bathroom, moving to him.
"Good morning!" I smile. "Did you need anything?" I ask, and he shakes his head, rubbing his sunken eyes.
"I just wanted to make sure you hadn't left me just yet." He smiles, and I shake my head.
"Not yet, but I need to leave in a few minutes." I tell him, and he nods.
"Not without saying goodbye to your momma." My mom walks down the stairs, and I smile.
"Well I've got to say good bye now, I've got to get back to Atlanta within the hour." I tell her, looking at the clock on my phone. She pulls me into another hug, and I accept, and then lean down to my dad, hugging him, but making sure I'm careful while doing it. He squeezes me tight, and the feeling makes me sad, it makes my heart hurt. "I love you guys, I'll come home soon I promise." I tell them both, and force myself out of the door before I decide I can't leave my dad. I get in my car, packing everything back in it, and start my drive, calling Harry as I drive, hoping he's awake for his flight.
"Hello?" He groans into the phone, and I feel bad instantly.
"Did I wake you up? I'm sorry, I figured you'd be awake for your flight already." I mumble into the speaker.
"I should be getting up actually... I'm guessing you're leaving your parents house?" He asks, his voice waking up.
"Yea I just left, and I'm on my way to the airport now, I figured I'd call you, and see how you were." I tell him, wishing I could see his face right now.
"I'm missing you... If that's consolation for anything." He mumbles, and I smile softly.
"I miss you... I wish you were here." I tell him truthfully, and navigate my way through the back roads. "But I know this will be good for us." I add, and he sighs.
"It will be good for us, but I wish it never had to happen, even though it does." He tells me, and I listen to his voice, loving the sound. "I should be getting ready to leave now so I can meet with Kid, and the others... Do you need anything?" He asks me, and I shake my head, and remember he can't see me.
"No I'm fine... I'll text you when I get to Milan, though I'm sure you'll still be on a flight then... text me when you land please." I mumble.
"Okay, I love you El... Meet you in Milan?" He asks, and I smile.
"I love you... I'll meet you in Milan." I tell him, and he hangs up. I drive the rest of the way, and board my flight with ease, pulling out another book, and getting myself ready to sit through this flight. I read, I eat, and I fall asleep, passing every bit of time until I feel the shaking of the plane on the runway again. I wake up, I wait for the plane to unboard, and then I get all my things, feeling like I'm back on tour again from all the traveling the past two weeks. I move from the plane, and claim my suitcase, walking towards the front of the airport, and seeing a sign with my name on it. I smile seeing it, and I also see how dark it is outside.
This jet lag will be hell on earth. I get inside the car, and I text Harry, telling him I've landed, and I'm on my way to the hotel. He doesn't reply as I suspected, and when I look to Anthony's location on our texts I see my dot moving closer to him, seeing he's already here. I told Alessandro to only book one room, and he did. I move from the car, and straight to the front desk, checking myself in the hotel, and getting my room key, going straight in the elevator, and to the room number the woman at the front desk told me. I open the door, and I walk in, throwing my things down around me, seeing Anthony sat on the bed wearing a hotel robe.
"Hey stinky." He mumbles, clicking on the remote, and I furrow my brows.
"Did you just call me... You know what, nevermind, I'm here!" I cheer, and do a little dance.
"Jet lag is going to kick our asses so, get yourself in one of those damn robes. I bought italian face masks, and I have a bottle of wine." He tells me, and it sounds like pure heaven. I get my robe on just like he said, and we sit in the bathroom together, slapping on peel off face masks with smiles on our faces. "Have you told him yet?" He asks, and I pause, the smile, leaving my face. "I'll take that as a no... Why not?" He asks, and I feel like this is all I've been asked lately.
"I can't tell him because he's going to stop his life, stop the album, stop everything for me, and he can't do that... I want to deal with this without all of that happening too." I tell him, and he gives me a soft face.
"I'm sorry... I know it's hard for you, but you're still planning on telling him aren't you?" He asks, and I nod.
"Of course I am, it's just a matter of when... It hasn't felt right yet, and I know I need to tell him soon, probably the week after we get back from here." I tell him, washing my hands off, my face now a light green, and my hair on top of my head, a soft fluffy robe on my skin.
"You two had fun in Cancun? I would have asked you at your birthday party but you were busy." He smiles, and I roll my eyes.
"I'm still mad at you for that.. But yes Cancun was incredible. I want to go back, maybe one day I'll own a house there, or honeymoon there or something." I shrug, and as soon as the words hit the air I cringe. Did I just say that?
"Honeymoon? Is there something you're not telling me?" He asks, and I shake my head.
"You can check my fingers, there's no ring, and there's no talk of one either... It's just my mind rambling..." I tell him truthfully, knowing Harry and I haven't even come close to talking about marriage.
"Well I told you on tour that I will not in any way shape or form accept you with any other man, meaning you can't have kids with anyone else, you can't kiss anyone else, if you so much as look in the direction of another man that is not Harry Styles El, I will punch you in your boob." He warns me, and I reach for my boob, furrowing my brows.
"Okay, geez... I'm not planning on leaving him, you heard me mention it, obviously my subconscious wants to marry him one day." I tell Anthony truthfully, and my phone rings as we both make our way back to the bed. I see Harry's name and point to Anthony. "Don't say a word about marriage while I'm on the phone with him, do you understand me?" I point, and he pretends to lock his lips. "Hi!" I smile, and he situates himself as the facetime opens.
"What in the world is on your face?" He asks, and he's got a smile on his lips.
"It's a face mask, what in the world is on your face?" I ask, and he rolls his eyes, knowing there's nothing on his face.
"I see you're having a good time... We just got to our hotel in Paris." He tells me, and I hear someone in the background.
"Hello El!" He calls out, and I recognize it as Kid.
"Hi!" I call out to him.
"When do I get to say hello?" Anthony whines from the side, and I turn the camera to him.
"Jesus, she's got you wearing one of them as well?" He asks, looking at Anthony, and I turn the camera back to myself.
"He made me put it on, don't fool yourself.." I tell him, and he laughs.
"I'm not surprised... What are you two doing?" He asks, and I look to Anthony.
"We just ordered room service, we're waiting for the masks to dry, and then we're going to watch a movie, and try to force ourselves to go to bed for tomorrow." I tell him, and he smiles.
"Despite all the green, you look beautiful... I love you El, I'll talk to you tomorrow." He tells me, and I smile.
"I love you, get some sleep..." I tell him, and he hangs up the phone.
"Ew." Anthony gags beside me, and I roll my eyes.
"You told me I had to marry him, don't get grossed out." I mumble, and he shakes his head.
"It's gross hearing you say you love someone that isn't yourself." He laughs, and I push him to the side. "But I'm happy that you're happy." The door sounds after his words, and our room service is here, and our night is just now beginning and so is our week.
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Song: Change Your Ticket by One Direction.
Ugh I always feel weird making the chapter titles one direction songs but this one fit perfectly so I had to and I'm not sorry... I LOVE YOU GUYS!
Some juicy stuff is coming very very soon👀
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Trendsetter (book 2) - H.S
Fanfiction"They say insanity is trying the same thing but expecting something new" - Anson Seabra. SEQUEL TO STYLIST El kept telling him it was only meant to be for one night. She kept that mentality, or tried to. Harry didn't believe one bit of the front she...
