Trendsetter (book 2) - H.S

Chapter 30: Sink.

A/N: this is El and her new doggo!!!
This song doesn't specifically link to this chapter but it links to the story so whatever.

EL'S POV:

    "No, no,no... Listen, Adore you is about you, so I need you to be in the video." He tells me, and he has his eyes closed, his back against the couch. I'm hanging upside down, my hair falling off the couch, my feet to the wall, and my back pressed to the cushions as I watch the room upside down. How much pot did he put in that damn brownie?
    "I... Will... Not..." I talk out, but it feels like my mouth is moving slowly.
    "Why.... not...." He mumbles, looking over to me, mimicking my speech.
    "Because I'm not going to be in one of your music videos, you need something completely random.... Yea, completey random so all your fans are like, what the fuck? Was he on drugs when he came up with this idea? It'll be like a symbol for me. Little do they know... you were on drugs when you came up with it." I smile to myself, feeling proud that I got all those words out, and the front door opens.
    "A fish! You're a fish El." He tells me, and I whip my head to him.
    "I am not a fish." I look to him, and he shakes his head, sitting up, and pulling me up as well. My head feels like it's floating as I'm brought to his level.
    "You.Are.The.Fish." He tells me rather aggressively, shaking me while he does.
    "What the hell is going on?" I turn slightly, my shoulders still in Harry's grasp. Kid is standing there, looking over to us from the walkway, and he looks more than confused until his head turns to the countertop.
    "Adore you music video. She's the fish, she's going to be a fish, and I'm going to be the boy that takes care of her." He tells him, and Kid nods his head.
    "He's not going to tell me the truth so El, tell it to me straight, how much pot did he put in that brownie?" He asks with a smile.
    "None!"
    "Too much." We both answer at the same time, and I shove him, causing him to fall right off the couch all together.
    "Eleanor, no pushing." He whines, and I stretch out on the couch.
    "Have one, come join us, and help us plan this music video. I don't know why you originally came over but it doesn't matter anymore because it'd be nice to have a sane person talking about this." I tell him, and he doesn't think twice before grabbing a brownie, and joining us in the living room while he eats it. "Now please explain what the hell you're talking about." I turn back to Harry who is getting back on the couch. I hold my laughter in, seeing as he's still shirtless, his hair is a complete mess now after his tumble.
    "So the song is about you... so this needs to be our story, but hidden, so like, no one will know what it's really about until they completely dive in, and we can have someone tell the story with a voice over... It'll be badass." He tells me, and I listen in.
    "Well when the two of you met, you hated him, and he was a depressed little shit." Kid adds, and I point a finger.
    "I was also a depressed little shit." I add on, and he nods.
    "So she's a fish, that's what we picked?" He asks, and I shake my head, rolling my eyes.
    "Yes, she's a fish... We need a backstory." Harry mumbles, his words meshing together in my mind. They start talking, and my head tunes out, not listening. For all of us it seemed that when we were in that spot of just meeting, we were in our own little world surrounded by stuff that overwhelmed us, surrounded by people wanting more or less from us, we were stuck, and that's why we were-
    "An island." I speak out, interrupting both of them, and then I stand up, moving from the couch, my legs feeling like jelly, but my brain working in override.
    "What? El were you even listening to what we were saying?" Harry laughs, and I shake my head, pulling out paper and pen.I write out the words adore, and start drawing arrows, moving letters, my eyes thinned out due to the redness.
    "No because whatever you said, scratch it, throw it away, burn it. This is genius, pure genius." I mumble ,sitting back on the couch with my work out in front of me. Harry, and Kid take the paper, and squint their eyes looking at the word.
    "E...Ro..da?" They speak the words together, and I nod, and take my paper back.
"Eroda, adore spelled backwards, it's an island, a really weird island, like so fucking weird I can't comprehend it right now... but, but you're the boy, you're the boy with the smile. And you're gonna be this happy kid, but you were too happy, and-" I start, and Harry interrupts.
"Like I smile, and it shines so bright... like it blinds people." He adds, and I point.
"Exactly, and so you stop smiling! And since you stopped smiling to please everyone
else, you go through your years all fucking sad, just like real life, and then when you're so fed up you go to the ocean, ready for it to be over right, just wanting to rid yourself from all the sadness... but how will you do it? Rocks.. Maybe, putting the rocks in your pockets, and trying to-" I continue on, and look up to see if they're following. Kid looks completely lost, and Harry is shaking his head.
"But I never-" He starts, and I cover his lips.
"I know you never actually wanted to end it all, but BUT it's hollywood, meaning we make it dramatic, now stop interrupting me or I'm going to forget what I'm saying."  I tell him, and he waves me on, listening intently as Kid stares at me, his eyes thinned out, and his mouth open. "So you're ready to just give up because no one cares about you because you have a weird ass smile, and that's when I come in." I tell him.
"You mean the fish?" Kid asks, and I nod.
"Yes the fish who is playing me comes in, jumping on the shore so the fish can die, because that was us in some ways, we were both stuck, and wanted a way out in some way even if it wasn't that drastic." I take a deep breath, having said all of that together. "So you, being the kind person you are, you save me just like real life, and you put my scaly little fish body in a coffee pot." I tell him.
"And then from there I can help you, finding the happiness you bring me, and I devote
my life to make the relationship between me, and my fish perfect! I watch you grow, and then... then..." He loses his train of thought.
"Okay, I'm following, but what about a planet... Eroda the planet." Kid suggests, looking between Harry, and I.
"Absolutely not. Too far." He tells Kid.
"But what happens when the fish gets too big?" He asks, and I look to Harry for an answer, my brain feeling like it's swollen.
"The fish gets too big, and I have to... I have to let it go, but I hardly make it because transporting the fish is so hard, and..." He starts trying to think.
"The people who shunned you out, they help you to get me to the water, and then we're both happy!" I add, and he snaps his fingers pointing to me.
"Yes exactly, and then I'll sail away... I'll leave Eroda behind." He tells me, and Kid throws himself back, his hands running through his hair.
"What the fuck are we talking about?" He shakes his head, obviously somewhat confused.
"Jeffrey needs to hear this, this is perfect. El write all of this down." He tells me, and picks up his phone. "I need you to come over, this is urgent." He mumbles into the phone. "Stop being an old man, and get over here, I don't care how late it is." He fights back, and I hear him laugh. "It is worth it! Eroda!!! I'll explain later, get over here." He tells him, and then hangs up as I write every idea on the paper underneath the words Eroda.
"The clothes for this... iconic, but not Gucci..." I tell him, and Kid, and Harry both look at me with shocked looks. "Don't look at me like that, it can't be Gucci, not all the way. I need to pull pieces, buy pieces for this." I tell him, and start writing more down. "I have no idea what kind of magical shit you put in that brownie but that shit is like... the best thing that's happened to my brain." I look up to him with intent. We continue talking, Kid more and more on board with the ideas as we plan out the weirdness of the island, and the planning behind it. We'll drop the promo like it's actually a place, but never give tickets, or anything of the sort... The fans will be so confused, but they'll know, they always know. Jeffrey shows up, walking into the living room with checkered sleep pants, and a tshirt on, looking more than annoyed that he's here.
"Jeffrey El is a genius." Kid speaks up.
"This was your idea?" He asks, pointing to me, and I nod, holding my paper up. He looks to the side, seeing the brownies and he sighs, running his hands through his hair, and covering his face.
"How stoned are you guys?" He asks.
"Very, now get over here." Harry waves him on, and he looks to me.
"Don't take offense to this." Jeffrey mumbles to me, and looks to Harry. "El makes me want to light myself on fire sometimes, but without her we wouldn't have this album, and you wouldn't look as good as you do... Right now is one of the times I'm wishing to light myself on fire." He turns back to me again. "Once again, no offense." He tells me, and I shrug.
"None taken, now come to Eroda!" I shake his shoulders as he sits down, and he looks into my eyes.
"Good god you guys are high as... nevermind, what the hell are you all getting on about now? What's Eroda?" He asks, looking between the three of us. Harry gets up, and starts presenting as if it was high school history class, and Jeffrey looks at him like he has three heads. "You thought of this?" He asks me, and I nod.
"Most of it." I tell him, and he furrows his brows.
"Once again, no offense, but El, have you ever tried therapy?" He asks, and I stand up, getting next to Harry.
"I'm fine! This is perfect, you can't even tell me it's not, the promo, confusing the fans, making people wonder, everyone will be going on about the fake island of Eroda, and then the song will drop and give their explanation, even people that aren't his fans will wonder what's going on. It'll be the mind fuck of the centruy, Jeffrey this is genius." I throw my hands up, and he nods, his fingers on his chin as he thinks.
"It could work... but did you two ever think about a planet?" He asks, and I throw my head back.
"That's what I said!" Kid interrupts.
"No!" Harry and I say together. "It's an island, it has to be an island." Harry tells him.
"Okay so it seems your mind is made up, I'll do a production meeting when you're not high off your ass okay?" He asks, and Harry laughs, tip toeing to Jeffrey as he stands. He wraps him in a hug, and Jeffrey leaves, Kid laying himself across the couch. After a while of just talking we notice his eyes closed, and his soft snore.
"Bedtime?" He asks me, and I move fast, going straight to the stairs.
"Gotta catch me first." I push and run fast. I hear him coming after me, and by the time I'm in his room I've thrown myself on his bed, my hair sprawled all around me. He walks up, pulling me down to him by my legs and then coming down to me.
"For someone who's under the influence you're way too damn energetic." He laughs, closing in on me with a kiss.
"Nothing can stop the spaz that lies within Harry, get with the program." I laugh, and roll away from him, giving him a space on his bed. He joins me, not without rolling halfway on top of me, squishing my cheeks together.
"You have very cute cheeks Eileen." He smiles, his eyes squinting.
"You have very cute... well everything." I laugh at his eye roll and he lays his head on my chest, hiding his face away from me.
"What are you doing tomorrow?" He asks softly, the tone becoming more serious.
"I'm picking up my new puppy... Come with me, it'll be fun." I tell him, knowing he didn't know I went to the shelter today.
"I meant to tell you earlier, and please don't be mad at me... I have to go to New York... It's for Rolling Stone, they told me today, and... come with me, you can see your old friends, and it's only for a few days, and-" He starts, but I groan out.
"I can't just leave, and follow you around everywhere.... I have to stay, I just got a new dog, I can't welcome him into my life by bringing him to New York with me, and what about Anthony, and work? I skipped work today for you because you're a bad influence." I poke at him, and he looks up to me, resting his cheek on his hands as they lay across my stomach.
"I'm sorry... I just don't really want to leave, I'd rather stay here, but it'd be easier if you were there..." He tells me, and I think about the days alone, getting sad though it's hard for my mind to comprehend it right now. The words somewhat sobered me up though, made me think straighter.
"This is what I meant last night... I knew you'd be gone sooner or later. Why are you so busy all the damn time?" I ask him, and he smiles.
"This is my time off too." He tells me warily, knowing even in this time he's always working.. "We should go on a vacation... Where is somewhere you've always wanted to go?" He asks me, and I think about it.
"Japan... I've always wanted to go and actually go, not like touring. The culture is similar to New York, but so much bigger, and it seems so pretty,  and the fashion. A dream honestly." I tell him, the colors bright inside my mind as I think.
"Pot doesn't make you act crazy, it opens you up... You're more yourself when you're high." He laughs, and I shrug.
"I just don't have a filter anymore." I tell him truthfully.
"Let's go to Japan... We'll go after we shoot the video." He tells me, and I smile.
"Just us? Promise?" I ask, and he holds out his pinky, latching it with me.
"Promise." He smiles, and climbs forward, kissing my lips, and pulling me to him. "I've got to go to bed, I've got to be at the airport around noon." He tells me, and I hold back my sigh. I won't be alone, I've got Anthony, my new puppy... and just like he said, I've got the stars. I close my eyes, falling asleep in his warmth.
Jeffrey came back in the morning, and Kid left then. I stayed until Jeffrey lugged Harry off to the airport himself. It'll only be four days of him being gone, and I'm getting over it by not thinking about it at all. I think there's an underlying problem, I think I have some form of separation anxiety, mostly because every time he's not here it feels like the spot after tour where he was absent. It never gets easier either. I got to the shelter a few minutes ago, and I'm waiting for her to bring the little guy up to me. I can't wait for Harry to meet him either, he's going to love him. The dog comes out, his red leash and collar on. His ears are perked up, and he walks with a prance, looking right up to me.
"Did you decide on a name?" She asks me as I take the leash, looking down at the little guy.
"Bo..." I tell her, thinking of my dad as I speak the name.
"Adorable, alright, he's all yours now. I hope you two enjoy your time together." She smiles, and waves me off as I lead Bo out of the shelter.
"Alright bud, it's time to go home now." I talk to him, and he looks up to me as I do, hearing my words. I walk to the car, and lift him up, not expecting him to jump right in. I pull out of the parking lot, leaving the window open a bit for him, but he's just sitting there, looking out the window from the seat, not feeling the air, not doing the normal head out the window gesture. I get to my apartment, and lead him from the car, taking up only the essentials from the things I bought yesterday. As I walk through the shop door I'm greeted by eyes, and a shocked look.
"Who the hell is that, oh my god." Anthony comes forward, crouching down to the dog. He backs away, looking to me for an answer.
"His name is Bo, and he's my new little buddy. Like him?" I ask, and Anthony looks up to me, finally feeling the timid dogs fur.
"Who the hell are you, and what have you done with El? Since when did you want a pet?" He asks me, and I shrug, walking up the stairs, having Anthony, and Bo follow behind.
"Since I knew I'd be staying here for a while, and wanted someone to keep my company when Harry was gone... He's cute isn't he?" I ask, opening the door, and dropping the leash so he can roam around. I set the dog food and bowls down as well, going back to the dog to take the leash from him.
"Adorable... You've grown so much El... I love you awe." Anthony comes forward, and puts his arm around my shoulder, looking at the dog as he sniffs around. "Look, now you and Harry have a little family, only a matter of time when the dog is replaced by a real life child, shitty diapers and all." He laughs, and I shrug him off my shoulder.
"Not going to happen... Not for a long ass time." I tell him, filling one of the bowls with water.
"You're on the pill right?" He asks me, and I nod.
"Of course I am, we're careful either way so it doesn't matter. I'm not planning on getting pregnant until I'm married either way, I've got to trap him before I can have his baby." I joke, and Anthony rolls his eyes.
"He's not leaving, and trust me, he wouldn't feel trapped at all. El, that man kisses the floor you walk on." He tells me, and he sits on the floor, opening his hands up for Bo. He prances over, letting Anthony pet him, and I sit down as well, taking him in my arms.
"That's not true. He does not... Either way, whatever he feels I feel the exact same so it doesn't matter... He's in New York you know?" I tell him, and Anthony pumps his fist in the air.
"Yes. Best friend day, fuck the work." He tells me, and I smile, loving the fact that he lives here. I can promise him, and anyone else, that living here wouldn't be the way that it is if he didn't leave New York, and come here. My phone rings, and I reach for it, answering the call.
"Is this El Montgomery?" The woman asks, and I tilt my head.
"This is she, may I ask who's calling?" I ask into the phone, Anthony looking up to me, the grey dog in his arms.
"This is Shaina George. I work for Vogue, and we're running a cover and story on the most influential fashion designers, and stylists along with the people they dress and their influences this month. We've talked with Alessandro as he's one of the biggest men in the fashion industry and sadly enough he won't be able to make it out for the shoot. He mentioned your name, saying you were perfect because you were already in L.A. We wanted to touch base, and see if you'd be available to come tomorrow? We'd be shooting the cover, and of course going through a short interview with you as well." She asks, and I raise my eyebrows.
"Of course, I'd love to. This is.. This is an honor, thank you so much. What time should I show? Hair and makeup done, or should I-" I start.
"We'll have that taken care of! Just bring yourself! You should be there by noon, I'll forward the address to your work email that I've got on file. Any other questions?" She asks, and I look down to Anthony.
"Is my business partner welcome to come?" I ask.
"Of course, just give me a name and I'll put him as your guest." She tells me.
"Anthony Hererra." I tell her.
"Alright, we'll see you tomorrow Ms. Montgomery, thank you!" She peeps, and ends the call.
"Who was that?" Anthony asks, playing with Bo's perky ears.
"Vogue." I tell him, and he laughs.
"No seriously.." He turns up, and I raise an eyebrow. "Oh shit.. Oh shit El! Fucking Vogue? What did they want?" He asks me, and I smile, watching him stand.
"Alessandro recommended me... I'm going to be on Vogue for this month's issue on the most influential fashion stylists, and designers." I tell him, waving my hands as if I can see the cover right in front of me.
"EILEEN! THAT'S MY FUCKIN BEST FRIEND!" He screams out, spinning me around, and I laugh as we spin.
"I have to tell Harry, he's going to be so excited... Oh, and you're coming as my business partner because... well shit I need my best friend by my side. I've never been the one in front of the lense I'm always behind the scenes. Anthony what if I'm shit at it..." I feel the instant fear in my chest, and he rolls his eyes, pulling his phone out.
"Shut the hell up. You're hot as fuck El, and the entire world can see that. You're dating Harry fucking Styles, that should tell you enough, and looking at your instagram, you'd already think you're a model of some sort." I look at his phone and jump.
"What are you doing? He's on a flight!" I reach for the phone, and he gives me a warning glance.
"He's also rich, and I know he can make wifi calls on that plane. Hello! Harry!" The phone picks up, and I hear his laugh, butterflies crawling through my stomach as I do.
"Hey, what's up?" He asks.
"You're on speaker phone, I just called because I need you to know that your girlfriend is A. That bitch, and B. A model...." He speaks loudly, and I roll my eyes. "She just got a call from Vogue asking her to be on the cover for being one of the most influential Stylist, and Designers." He tells him, and I hear Harry's laugh, but it's one of those shocked laughs. The kind where all you can do is smile because you're so happy.
"El, are you there?" He asks into the phone, and I take it from Anthony's hand.
"I'm here.. I was going to call you after your flight, but someone couldn't wait." I glare at Anthony over my shoulder, and he makes a face at me.
"I'm so proud of you darling, you deserve this, and I can't wait to see it, and hear about it... When is the shoot?" He asks, and I smile.
"Tomorrow at noon... I'm nervous." I tell him truthfully.
"There's no need for you to be. You're stunning El, breathtaking, and everyone who gets the issue will see it... God, I'm so proud of you love." He beams into the phone, and I get that giddy feeling in my chest. We're both doing so good, such amazing things going on right now.
"Thank you... I'll let you go, just tell me when you land.." I tell him.
"Facetime later so I can see the dog alright?" He asks.
"No! You have to wait till you get home to see him, but that's going to be soon enough. I'll call tonight. I love you bub." I tell him.
"I love you darling, I'll talk to you later." He beams, and I hang up. After hearing his voice the realization hits me like a ton of bricks. Though we're both doing good things, we're always doing good things apart... Never together, and it makes me sad, it makes me sink. I sink knowing it's hardly been a few hours, and I miss him already. I sink knowing, despite the kind words I'm still nervous as hell to do the shoot tomorrow, fearing that I won't be good enough... and at this moment I wish more than anything I could do something, anything without living in fear...

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Song: Sink by Noah Kahan.

Okay so... I POSTED THE FIRST CHAPTER OF MY NEWEST FANFICTION CALLED "IT'S COMPLICATED..."

You guys will love it hopefully, go check it out!! I'm really excited about this one honestly.

Also can we talk about how Eroda was thought up through pot brownies lol... we're not surprised though.

Love you guys! CHECK OUT MY NEW STORY xx