Matty's POV
After a long day in Mr Woods office and an hour detention with my form teacher, Miss Ayrton, i finally got home and went up to my room and got changed out of uniform into a t-shirt and joggers. I went to the top of the stairs and heard my name mentioned in the living room, making me curious so I slowly crept downstairs and stood just outside the living room door so i was hidden but could hear every word of what was being said. Everyone was in there except me, so whatever was being said about me was being said to everyone. I listened silently, they were talking about my behaviour in school. It was mainly Liam speaking so i listened to what he was saying from my spot in the hallway.
"he needs to sort his behaviour out, I know he's been through a lot but it's still not really an excuse" I rolled my eyes as Liam said this, i hear it all the time.
"what do you mean he's been through a lot payno?" Louis questioned
"yeh, what's actually happened to him, you never told us why he moved here them few years ago" Harry intervined.
I started to listen more carefully, no one knows what happened to my family and I don't want them to know, and it's definitely not Liam's place to say.
"Well his family just kind of broke I guess" Liam started, my heart sank to the bottom of my stomach. "his dad took his sister one evening and they left when matty was fast asleep. He woke up the next morning and they were gone, his mum couldn't explain to him why or where because he was only 6, he wouldn't understand. But he definitely felt the effects, he cried for 4 days straight and wouldn't go to school for 2 weeks. When he did go back to school his behaviour changed. He had always been the class clown but had always done the work and got n with the teacher, but when he went back he was a nightmare, he did no work and constantly argued with his teacher. Almost everyday his mum was getting a phone call saying he had done something else and that he was really close to being excluded even though he was only 7 at this point. I was 13 at this point and so my mum and matty's mum decided i'd be a good role model for Matty so he got forced to hang out with me a lot more and i couldn't just get rid of him so I lost a lot of my mates because of him and that's when I started getting bullied. But at the end of the day, Matty is my little cousin and i liked having the responsibility of looking after him. It worked for a couple of weeks but then something changed and we still don't know what it was but he started acting up again, but even worse this time. His mum jut couldn't handle it anymore, she was struggling mentally and financially but didn't tell anyone. A few months went by and Matty was 8 now, his behaviour had improved a bit as he'd adapted to what had happened but i guess his mum was still struggling a lot more than we thought because one afternoon my mum got a call off matty, he was crying down the phone saying that his mum was asleep on the floor and he couldn't wake her up. An ambulance was called and me and my mum rushed round but nothing could be done. She'd OD-ed a few hour ago but no one had known and it was too late to save her now. she was gone. Matty had lost his mum, dad and sister in a matter of 18 months. We tried and tried to get hold of his dad and sister but it was no use at all, Matty had to come and live with my family. Then 1D happened and i'd moved in with you lot, my mum thought matty would cope better with life if he was in a house with us lot because we'd be people he can look up to and ask for advice seeing as though he didn't have his dad."
I stood in the hallway for a minute, frozen, part of me wanted to go in there and yell at Liam and tell him he had no right to say any of that, but then the other part of me just wanted to go up to my room and cry. While i stood there, Amy came out of the living room and saw me stood there, she looked at me with guilt and pity all over her face, she knew I'd heard every word. I looked at her before running up to my room slamming the door and collapsing on my bed, crying into my pillow and hugging my knees tightly. I heard a gently knocking on my bedroom door and i knew it was only Amy but i just couldn't face anyone right know.
"go away!!!" i yelled, my voice wobbling. I got up off my bed and pushed my desk against my door so no one could come in and grabbed my pencil case out my bag and took out my compass. I placed it on my duvet and sat staring at the sharp point for around 5 minutes before picking it up and resting it gently against my wrist until i found the courage to apply a shed load of pressure while moving the point across the width of my wrist. I lifted the compass away and looked at my bleeding wrist, I made a second cut underneath the first cut and it just built up all this anger inside me but i couldn't stop. I launched my compass across the room and sat prodding my wrist until the blood was almost dripping down my arm. I put a hoodie on to cover my arm and made my way to the bathroom, making sure to lock the door behind me. I turned on the tap of the sink and proceeded to wash my wrist, i don't fancy it getting infected. After it was cleaned and covered by my hoodie sleeve i made my way back to my room and put my furniture back where it should be after it's abrupt movement, my room is actually really tidy for a 15 year old lad and that how i like it because it relaxes me in times like this. I left my door open incase Amy came and payed another visit, i was ready to talk now, and then i sat on my windowsill and looked out into the distance, allowing the slow movement of the clouds to take over my mind.
YOU ARE READING
reading between the lines
RandomMatty Payne is 15 year old cousin of Liam Payne and lives with the 1D lads. he's not the most well behaved lads and has some issues both in and out of school. it's up to 1D to help him get on the right track.