reading between the lines

17

Matty's POV
I lay awake in bed that night, I was thinking alot, not about anything bad, just thinking. I shamefully spent about an hour thinking about who Ryan would suit in terms of a boyfriend which lead to me thinking about his kiss with Zach that I had recently learnt of. I came to the conclusion that Ryan and Zach would be a great couple. Then I really started to think; about makeup.
I wanted to wear it so badly but I knew everyone would make fun of me and I wouldn't be allowed it in school even though a lot of the girls get away with it (let's just say I don't go to the most prestigious school). If I just wore a tiny bit would anyone even notice? If they did and they started to wind me up, would I even care or would I just flip them off and walk on cos I am who I am and I shouldn't be ashamed of that. Should I?

~06:12 am~

I woke up quite confused, I did not remember going to sleep, guess I just drifted off, but now was time to make my decision; am I going to go with make-up or no makeup. I pulled out my uniform and put it on, leaving my blazer on my bed for now and looked at myself in the mirror, giving my hair a quick brush whilst still having a mental debate in my head.
In the end I decided to fuck what other people think and went up to Amy's room and knocked
"Hey" she said, her warm smile greeting my entrance "what's up?"
"Well" I said, sitting on the edge of her bed whilst watching her braid her hair "I was just kind of wondering if, erm, well the thing is I, will you do my makeup please"
Amy's face light up and she tied her bobble around her plait to secure it and stood up from her chair "please take a seat" she said as she retrieved her makeup bag from her too drawer.
I sat down as told and looks up at Amy a little nervously "just a little ok, I don't want it to be really noticeable"

She gave me a comforting smile "don't worry Matty, it'll be so natural that only me and you will know you have it on, as long as you stay still so I don't mess up"
"Okay" I smiled, trying to stay as still as possible while Amy began the make-up application, which was surprisingly relaxing and a lot more enjoyable than I'd imagined.

Amy had completely stuck to her promise, once I was done you could barely tell I had any makeup on but of course, I knew about it and that was all that mattered, I felt like a new, stronger, happier version of myself and I absolutely adored it.

However, Walking to school made me doubt my decision as Alfie and Sophie noticed straight away and made me think that I should take it off as soon as I got to school but Amy wouldn't let me surrender because she knew it's what I wanted. Alfie and Sophie were supportive too, obviously after Alfie had gotten over the instant banta that he just couldn't resist. I didn't mind alf teasing me cos I knew he meant no harm, I knew that if I asked him to stop then he would, my friends were my comfort blanket, the anxiety of other people's opinions was disappearing more and more each step I took with my friends by my side.

But everything changed at school, rumours where going around the whole school by break time that I was wearing makeup, luckily I hadn't seen AJ yet but I knew that he'd know. First chance I got, I ran to the toilets and washed my face roughly in the sink, the soap, which was obviously meant as hand wash, stinging my face along with the uncomfortable cotton of my jumper as I pulled it over my face to dry it. I looked in the mirror, fixing my jumper to look just as it had before, my hair a mess and dripping wet at the front. That's when it happened, that's when AJ walked in with his everlasting demeanor of arrogance and  intimidation.
"What are you doing in here Matt" AJ asked, a smirk covering his prickly face as he walked closer and closer to Me, a small version of me who was now cowering in the corner on the room. I  looked AJ straight in the eyes with every ounce of strength I had left "do no call me Matt" I demanded, finding the confidence to stand a little taller "and what do you think I was doing in here eh? I was doing what normal people do, using the toilet. How stupid are you?" I sincerely regretted my last sentence straight away AJ's eyes turned from a feeling of amusement to pure anger and soon enough I was pinned roughly against the wall, my breath stuck somewhere down my throat from the shock.
"That was a stupid thing to say wasn't it Matt" AJ taumented "very very stupid" the word stupid had significant impact as AJ's left hand pressed harder against my right shoulder, digging in so uncomfortably that I couldn't hold back the little whimper that escaped my lips. The little whimper that gave AJ a need to hurt me more, bringing his knee up and using it to give me a sudden blow to the stomach, then another, and then another before grabbing me once again by the shoulders and throwing me down against the hard dirt ridden floor, helpless and in unimaginable pain.
"Cya later Matt" AJ smirked as the bell rang for next lesson and he excited the boys toilets, heading out into the already silent corridor as everyone else had made there way to lesson. Everyone except me that was, I couldn't move, I had music and I knew that having that lesson would make this day at least a little bearable, but I couldn't move, my stomach hurt like crazy and when I moved my arms to hold it, my shoulder remembered the sudden jolt it had been given from AJ and that too began to cause me intolerable pain. I could text Louis or harry, Amy of Alfie, but what would I say? That I slipped? As if they'd believe that, no I just had to find the strength to get to lesson and get through the rest of the day. I took a packet of paracetamol out of my blazer pocket (I always carry some around as I get a lot of headaches) and took two with a gulp of water, sitting there, on the cold floor waiting for them to numb at least a little of the pain.