Won't Stop Till We Surrender

Chapter Twenty

"Wake up!" I felt someone's warm breath tickling my neck and cheeks. "Its Christmas wake up!" 

I rubbed my tired eyes in an attempt to wake meself up more. "What time is it... ?" I groned.

"Almost 9." Josh responded as I shot him a glare.

"Why are you waking me up so early"" I whined punching my fists at Josh's chest trying to get him off of me. "Because its Christmas!" He repaeted.

"And..."

"And everyone's here eating breakfast. So get out of bed." He kissed my cheeks. "Who's everyone and why are they invading my appartment." I mumbled against Josh's lips. "Just go get ready." He lightly tapped my bum as I crawled out of bed. I was to tired to even turn around and glare at him jokingly.

I trudged into the ensuite of our bedroom and striped down. The hot water running over me woke me up and relazed my tense muscles. I sighed as the last drops of water fell from my body and onto the cold tiled floor. I wrapped a towel around me and walked to the sink to brush my teeth. After I dried myself off and changed into a little red lacey dress, I put brushed some mascara onto my lashes. I didn't want to look tired but wanted to look natural.

I skipped down the stairs the smell of bacon and eggs making me excited. I glanced at the Christmas tree with looked much larger than it had last night, because of the giant piles of different sixed boxes lined the bottom of it. Some even stached away in the corner because of the fullness of the tree. 

Everyone greeted me with hugs and kisses, as Louis still sat on the couch rolling his eyes and mumbling, "Finally the princess is awake." I punched him slightly for his comment.

"What? We've been waiting for ages for you to come down!" Louis complained. "Oh hush." I put my finger to his mouth, I flinched as he tried to bit me. "You vicious monster!" I growled at Louis before turning and walking into the kitchen.

"Good morning, Aria! Would you like some breakfast?" Harry grinned. Cheeky chappy, I thought to myself. "Sure," I answerd kissing his cheek lightly as I walked to the fridge to get a glass of orange juice. "Why did you take so long to wake up this morning?" Danielle whined as she tugged on my arm lightly 

"Is everyone like oblivious to the fact that it is okay 9:30? Plus I didn't sleep very well last night." I sheepishly admitted. "Why not babe?" Eleanor questioned as her and Danielle sat down with me at the table whilst I ate. "I don't know." I shrugged.

"I went to bed kind of late too..." I zoned off remembering what I was doing last night that made me loose track of time. 

"Hello?'

"Earth to Aria!"

Danielle snapped her fingers near my face in an attempt to get my attention. "Huh?" I asked, my thoughts slipping away from me, I wish they had last night. I nearly suffocated myself just by over-anazlying the situation.

"I said, would you like to open the presents after you eat?" Danielle smiled.

"Of course." I answered cheerfully, as I gulped down the hot chocolate and sighed satifisied as the thick liquid travelled down my throat. As I finished up my breakfast Liam came and collected my plates as Zayn helped him put them into the dishwasher. Why is everyone being so nice, I thought, something fishy is going on.

I let out a strange laugh. "What's going on here?" I tapped my foot, waiting for a repsonse. "N-nothing why do you ask?" Harry gulped.

"Something is going on." I glared at Harry. "C'mon let's go!" Harry dragged me outside into his car after I grabbed my purse and coat. 

I smiled oddly at the slight vibration of the car as the others cars sped by, splashing rain around the tires in an instant.
Harry tapped lightly on the sterring wheel, then quickly gripped it and released it before drumming his fingers on it again. He only did that when he was nervous, I thought. 

He gripped the analog stick before I squeezed his hand slightly trying to calm his nerves. Harry never got nervous; not to perform, not to go to an award show, never. So is he so scared to perform now? The Christmas Hall isn't even big; there will only be a few hundred people here, the most a thousand, including the fans.

"Harry calm down. Why are you so nervous?" I gave his hand another light squeeze. "I'm not nervous." Harry stammered.

"Curly," I called him by his nickname, making him jokingly roll his eyes and shake his head causing his curls to bounce around his head freely. "you don't need to lie to me. I know you better than you know yourself." 

"Chin up beautiful, you'll be fine." I mocked him, as he always says that when I'm nervous or in doubt.

He rolled his eyes again. "You know if you roll your eyes too much they'll fall out?" I asked him sarcasticly as I did everytime he rolled his eyes more than once.

"No." He let out a small laugh, his laughther soon subsided as a frown crossed his feautures. "You want to know why I'm so nervous?" I nodded. He glanced at me before looking back at the road.

They were going to perform at a Christmas Hall, but its something they've done before. They even performed at the 2012 Closing Olympics Ceremony, the Teen Choice Awards, the VMAs and even the Teen Awards back in London. So why was he so nervous now? Maybe its just that he has way more people counting on him, but seeing him like this teared me apart. 

Harry sighed before speaking again. "I'm so nervous because I'm terrified I'll mess up on my solo again." I immediately knew that when he said again he was referring to 'Red and Black', when he was slightly out of my breath during his solo and received loads of hate for the tiny slip up. That I classed as 'something that happens to everyone'. Which is true, it happens to the best.

I walked into the dressing room that had a sign on the door that said "One Direction". I saw Liam and Niall clowning around, Danielle and Eleanor talking with Perrie, and Zayn and Louis wrestling childishly on the couch but I didn't see Harry. Something is wrong, I thought.

I hoped into my car and drove to Harry and Louis' flat to see if Harry was there but he wasn't answering the door. 

I went back into my car and drove to my flat to see if he had let himself in. I walked to the doorstep. I saw a figure crouched down into a ball. Something clicked in my mind, Harry.

I unlocked the door and helped him up. I slowly guided him into the lounge and sat on the couch. I let him lie down and I placed his head on my lap. I stroked his hair and felt him shake violently, his sobs muffled by the pillow he layed down on.

"Its okay Harry. It'll be okay." I tried to convince. I knew that Harry was in a fragile state right now; he felt as if he had let everyone down because of the slight slip up. 

When he was singing his solo in 'What Makes You Beautiful' since his voice was changing he couldn't exactly sing how he normally did. He tried to catch his breath but missed a few words whilst trying to do that and eventually thinks he had failed himself.

I thought he was amazing. All of the boys were incredible; the harmonies were beautiful and it brought me to tears. I was so proud of them. Each and everyone of them, for have far they've gone since The X Factor days.

I looked down at the boy who layed on my lap feeling horrible because of something natural. I noticed something in his hand.

I slid it out and realized it was his iPhone. I swiped my finger delicately across the screen, my eyes widened as I read each comment. 

I thought he had fell alseep after an hour, until he finally spoke.

"They hate me." He croaked. "I've let everyone down. Especially the one person I didn't want to let down." He waited a few seconds before speaking again. "You."

Harry turned around so he was facing me. I stared down at him; his eyes swollen and red, his irises twinkled as he'd been crying. Harry looked so broken, but still very beautiful. 

"I'm sorry I let you down..." Harry said almost a whisper before tears started trickling down his cheeks. I shook my head furious, forcing myself not to cry. Seeing my best friend so torn made my stomach churn. 

"You didn't me down. You let no one down. You were perfect, you all did amazing." I smiled at him and stroked my thumb across his cheek, wiping away his tears. "If anyone let anyone down, it was the fans. The ones who claim to support you boys through thick and thin were the ones who let us all down. Not you."

Harry just stared into my eyes and I did the same. I had barely turned on the light so it was fairly dark. Slight shadows casted on the wall, the room barely lit, though I could still see the twinkle in his eye.

I could barely make it out but it was there.

Our faces inched closer, until our noses brushed against eachother. His lips almost connected to mine, until a rattle of the door handle.made us jump and bang foreheads. 

"Ouch." Harry mumbled into the pillow, along with a line of profanities as he huffed.

I sighed too. No matter how wrong it was, that I had Josh, I still wanted to kiss him. I've wanted to kiss him every since we met again last year. And ever since we were little kids and we developped what's called 'Puppy Love' 

"Is he okay?" Josh mouthed to me thinking Harry was alseep although he was only pretending so it didn't look suspicious.

I nodded, pretending he was alseep too. 

"I'm gonna to bed. Are you going to stay here with him?" He whispered in my ear, before kissing my forehead.

I nodded my head again, I could feel Harry's body vibrating lightly against me as my hair tickled his cheek. Josh and I shared a few kisses before I pulled away, as I remembered that Harry was still awake and must feel awkward. 

"That was...erm... Awkward." Harry whispered as he turned to face me again.

"So where were we?" Harry leaned closer to my face. I furrowed my eyebrows, causing wrinkles to cross my forehead.

"Harry! No!" I half whispered, half yelled as I pushed him off me. 

"You know you want me." Harry crawled on top of me and leaned in again. I just pushed him off my lap.

"Harry, what's gotten into you?" 

"Before Josh came we were going to kiss and if he didn't come we would have kissed anyways." Harry smirked. "And I know you wanted to kiss me." He breath tickling my neck as he whispered in my ears. 

I gulped. "N-no, Harry this is wrong." I stammered trying to keep my cool. "I have a boyfriend, who is literally doors away from us."

Harry glanced down the hall before smirking at me again. "He doesn't have to know..." Harry kissed my neck.

"Harry, please s-stop." I begged, I felt too weak to even push him of off me again. 

What happened to the boy who layed broken and crying in my lap just moments ago? Its as if in the night he turns into some kind of animal. A horny one maybe...

"Just hush and enjoy it." Harry sucked on my sweet spot behind my ear, he nibbled on it lightly causing slight pain. But then licked it again soothing it

I couldn't help but let a slight moan escape my lips. I no longer had the power to beg him to stop - even though I never wanted it to -, to push him off. 

I couldn't help but feel slightly unsatified as his lips and tongue left my neck, even though just the fact that I was enjoying was so very wrong. His face inched closer to mine and I found myself leaning to.

But I teared my was my face away from his before we kissed, remembering how wrong this would be. How would I feel is I saw Josh and a girl that I trusted... Like Chloe making out with him on the couch? The scene would break my heart into pieces.

"Harry, I'm sorry but I'm not going to let your charms break me and Josh up." I said before storming into the bathroom.

I stripped down and hopped into the shower. I scrubbed my skin furiously until it burned and turned red; I just felt so utterly dirty. I felt unclean and disgusting. I continued to scrub my skin until the skin started to peel, that was when I realized physical pain helped me get throught emotional pain.

I've never been one to cut or harm myself in any way. But hey; desperate times call for desperate measures.

I frowned slightly remembering the details from that night. The first time I physically harmed myself in years, for the same, exact reason;

Harry Edward Styles.