Memories

Chapter 4 - Evan

"You are my Sunshine, My only Sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are grey, you will never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my Sunshine away." A shaky vice sang, and then broke into sobs.

Evan stood outside of the door listening to Bell's grief. She used to sing that lullaby to Irene and Selen, but now she couldn't even finish the song. Evan mentally sang the rest of the song, over Bell's sobs.

"Last night I dreamed that, you were with me, and I held you in my arms, but when I woke I, was mistaken, and I began to cry and cry."

Evan just leaned his forehead against the door and cried to Bell, how sorry he was for her to be blaming herself for Irene and Selen's death.

Now he would only cry a little over Irene and Selen's death, more for her, and how it wasn't her fault.

"Daddy," Kayla called out. Evan quickly wiped his eyes, turning his head to the right, and then turned around to the left. She was standing at the end of the hallway in her nightgown, holding her new kitten, Dixie. "Daddy, I can't sleep. I'm worried about Mommy. She's been acting like this all day!"

Evan's heart went out, and he picked her up in his arms. "You can sleep with us tonight, and don't worry about Mommy. She's just sad, still." He carried her into his room and laid her on the bed and tucked Kayla in. "Be back in a minute, munch kin." He said and left the room after turning off the light. Evan then closed the door behind him.

He could hear that Bell had stopped crying, so he cracked Irene and Selen's door open.

Bell was setting in the corner, holding Irene's favourite blanket, and Selen's favourite toy. Her hair hung down over her shoulders and hid her face.

"Bell, it's late. Come on to bed, and get some rest. Remember, you have a doctor's appointment tomorrow." Evan said as he walked over to her.

"Every night, I see it happen all over again. Seeing that truck coming towards us, and then it hits us. God, Evan, why won't it stop! I don't think I can live with this," Bell cried.

Evan wrapped her up in his arms, and listened to her speak through her sobs for a while till she said, "There can't possibly be anything worse then having the blood of your two daughters on our conscience." In one swift movement, Evan grabbed her shoulder and made her look him in the face.

"Bell, don't you ever say that!" he said, and then softened his voice. "I hear you doing this to yourself every night, and it tears me apart! I'm afraid I'll lose you to this and you are all I live for!"

"I'm afraid that I'll not be able to live with this. Don't you get it? You DAUGHTERS are both dead because of me!" Bell yelled.

Evan caught his breath at this. 'How could she think something like that?' He let go of her shoulders and stood up. "Bell," he whispered.

"Do you know what you just said?" he asked.

"Yes I do. Truth hurts, doesn't it?" Bell said before bursting into sobs.

Evan didn't know what to say or do. At first he felt shock, then despair.

His face then hardened in anger. Without thinking, she slapped Bell hard across the face. She didn't even cry out, just let her head snap over to the side and put her hand onto her face.

Evan then realized what he had done, when he saw his hand positioned from the fallow-through. 'Oh my God, did I just,' his mind screamed, and was answered by the handprint on Bell's cheek turning bright red. "Bell, I didn't mean to..." he said, and tried to put a hand onto her shoulder.

"DON'T THOUGHT ME!" she screamed, the tears gone from her eyes. "DON'T YOU DARE THOUCH ME!" Bell looked Evan in the eyes, shooting daggers deep into him. "I'm not going to take this." She said, and pushed past him, out of Irene and Selen's bedroom. Bell opened a hall closet, and pulled a suitcase off a shelf. She muttered something as she drug it into their room, and tossed it in front of the dresser. Evan was immediately behind her. "Bell, what are you doing?" he asked, fully aware that she was throwing her things into the suitcase.