Tainted

Chapter Forty-One

We ride the horses until the sun settles well below the horizon.

Surma looks as if she could continue through the night, but thankfully Sani's the one who complains enough that Surma stops our small caravan to make camp.

I hold back as the others group together and smoothly slide from their horses, pulling saddle bags down with them.

When I feel like they're sufficiently distracted, I decide to get off my horse. Happy, to his credit, seems to sense my discomfort. He stands perfectly still, waiting for me to dismount.

"Thank you, Happy," I whisper into his ear.

He whinnies softly in response.

"Okay," I say. My legs feel as if they've fused to Happy's back. We haven't stopped once since Haven, and I think I've gone completely numb from my hips down. I can't even feel my toes.

I look over Happy's side. The ground is very far below. I didn't realize Happy was so tall. I knew he was tall, but it didn't sink in until this moment—when I have to summon the courage to get down.

Taking a deep breath, I let go of the reins. My fingers stay curled. I hadn't realized I'd been clutching the leather so tightly.

"Okay," I say again. "Step One: Complete."

Now that my hand is free, I use it to pull my feet from the stirrups. They feel so strange, just dangling down on either side of Happy.

Step Two, I think, mentally ticking it off.

I can't face Step Three with my eyes open, so I don't. Putting all my trust in Happy, I close my eyes tightly and...lean.

I don't fall off the horse exactly, but I certainly don't land gracefully. At least Happy is between the other Scouts and myself. It helps me preserve just a shred of my dignity.

"You're the best, Happy," I whisper to him, running my hand down his neck. Happy nuzzles me, making my hair flutter, before trotting off to join Sailor's horse. Hay has been thrown down in the sand, and the horses gather around it, eating greedily.

I take one step, and fall face first into the sand. My legs are so wobbly, they can barely support my own weight. I try to get back up, but my pants scrape against my inner thighs and make me wince.

"Kata," I mumble, pulling back the linen over my thighs to examine the damage. The fabric must have been too coarse for my first ride. It's created a bloody rash on my skin. Unless I get something to put on it, tomorrow's ride will shred my legs like ribbons.

"I can give you a salve for that, you know," Rogue says.

"Do you make a habit of finding damsels in distress?" I ask him.

"Why? Are you in need of hero?" Rogue asks. He looks at me through heavily-lidded eyes.

I stand, biting the insides of my cheeks to keep from crying out as the linen falls back over my legs like a thousand tiny daggers.

"Yes," I say. "Please tell me when you find one." I smile sweetly at him, before turning and walking away. It takes the entirety of my concentration to put one foot in front of the other without collapsing. I'm hoping he doesn't notice my awkward, hip-swinging gait, but it's the only way I can manage walking without my thighs rubbing together. The pants are agony enough.

I hear Rogue's feet swishing against the sand as he rushes to catch up with me.

"All quips aside," he says, "I do think you should put a salve on that. Otherwise you won't be able to manage the trip tomorrow."