Before You Go (Book 1)

4 - maybe this time

"Are you free this afternoon?" Saint asked Zee. He was pretending on reading the magazine as a way to play it nonchalant.

"Why? Do you need me to drive you somewhere?"

There it was again. Everytime Saint would ask him that question Zee would answer him with another one. The very same one that he gave just now.

"Just asking." Saint didn't bother to look up at him.

"I have somewhere to be this afternoon." Zee explained.

Saint just hummed as a response. Zee immediately stood up and headed to the bathroom almost stumbling on his feet. Saint sat right upward, suddenly alarmed.

Zee entered the bathroom and let out a groan as he vomits his breakfast down the toilet. Saint bolted towards him. He rubbed his back and gently patted it down.

"Water." Zee grunted.

Saint rushed to the kitchen and fetched him a glass of water. He was at the end of his wits. He was anxious and worried about Zee.

When he went back to the bathroom, Zee was still in the same position when he left him. Saint kneeled to help him drink.

"Here." Saint tilted Zee's head so he could gulp down the water.

"Help me up." Zee requested in which Saint obliged.

"You should slow it down with the liqour, Zee. Look at you." Saint assisted him until they made it on the bed.

"You had a delayed hangover. It happened to me once. It'll go away. I'll make some soup for you." Saint scolded Zee as if he was a kid.

"Sleep. I'll sleep." Zee had his eyes closed.

Saint shook his head and smiled at Zee's sleeping figure.

Saint first met Zee because of Why R U. They were asked to do a screen test together which is usually done with loveteams to see how they would compare alongside each other on camera. He just wished it should have ended there, with them being co actors. What good did he brought Saint? Confusion and misery was all Saint have now. He was infuriated and sad that he feels the way he does. It angers him that he's angry in the first place. He had to remind himself that they weren't together, they never were. That whatever he was feeling should be kept to himself.

"Zee? Wake up. Wake up." Saint tapped Zee's cheek. He shook his shoulders.

Zee slowly opened his eyes.

"Hey.. You've been asleep for more than 24 hours. I was so worried."

Zee sat up. He squinted his eyes trying to get his sight acquainted with the florescent light.

"Is the headache gone? How are you feeling?" Saint retrieved the bowl of the steaming wonton soup on the bedside table.

"It comes and goes." Zee answered with a smile. He started eating the soup and Saint was delighted to see that he was doing better.

Zee stood up to put the bowl back into the kitchen sink but he suddenly collapsed halfway through the bedroom door. Saint came rushing to help him.

"I don't think you should move around just yet. I'll call for an ambulance." Saint tried to dial the emergency hotline on his phone but it was swatted away from his hand.

"No. I'm fine."

"But-"

"I said I'm fine!"

Saint flinched at the sound of his voice.

"Okay. I won't call anyone."

With a sigh, Zee wiped his face with his palm. He went to couch and sat in silence.

"You know you can tell me anything right?" Saint sat right across him.

"Come here." Zee motioned for him to come closer. Saint followed until he was standing in front of him.

Zee patted his lap. Saint reluctant as he is slowly brought himself down to Zee's lap until he was straddling him.

Saint hesitantly brushed Zee's hair away from his forehead. He comb his hair and Zee seemed to like the gesture.

"I have a migraine." Zee said softly.

"I think I have a pill for that in the first aid kit." Saint was about to stand when Zee pulled him back down.

"Make it go away." Zee laid his back on the couch.

"Then let me go get the medicine for it."

"No. I want you to make it go away." Zee caressed Saint's thigh on his sides.

"I.. H-how could I-"

Saint looked at Zee. He was staring at him hungrily. It was then that Saint understood what Zee wanted.

"Another round of shots please." Saint tapped his hand at the bar. The bartender nodded at him to let him know that he had taken note of his order.

The loud music and the seizure inducing lights wasn't at all appealing to Saint. This wasn't how he planned on spending one of his days off. He doesn't even liked drinking alcohol but he decided tonight would be the last night he would think of Zee and he should toast to himself for deciding such.

For Saint, Zee pulled off the ultimate ghosting in the history of ghosting. He vanished into thin air. Gone with the wind.

Saint drank the shots of vodka. He paid for it and handed the bartender some tip. He was convinced that he wasn't drank. Although his sorroundings were slightly spinning, Saint managed to get to his car in the parking lot. He sat on the driver's seat collecting himself. He ignited the engine and drove off.

"Can you hear the rain outside?" Zee asked Saint who was comfortably laying on top of him. His fingertips grazing his naked back.

Saint nodded.

"Are you cold?" Zee asked him again.

Saint nodded.

Zee wrapped his arms around Saint.

"Your hands are cold." Saint whispered.

The highway was pretty empty and so Saint was driving as fast as he could. He was getting drowsy and the seat warmer on his car isn't helping. It just made him want to sleep even more. His car slightly swerves every now and then. He managed to drive a few kilometers now, drunk, drowsy and exhausted. Saint closed his eyes a little too long and it was enough for the car to swerve to the other lane. When he opened his eyes a pair of bright headlights was coming towards the windshield of his car accompanied by a loud car horn.

It all happened too fast. Saint felt as though he was flipping through the air as shards of glass explodes everywhere.

A replay of his memories flashed before him. Memories of him and Zee, of when he first met him during audition, when they first read their scripts, when they first acted in front of the camera, when they had to rehearse scene 47.

While the car flips in the air Saint's body thrashed around inside it. He had never felt so calm. He smiled, closed his eyes and gave in.