Before You Go (Book 1)

1 - more than enough

Saint paced back and forth inside the dressing room. He was biting his lip and wiping his hands on his trousers. His head instantly turned when he heard the door opened.

"Is he here?" He asked Jimmy frantically.

His co actor shook his head.

Saint slump on the couch with a heavy heart. He massaged his temples to ease the throbbing.

It's been more than a week since Zee disappeared. He hasn't heard anything from him since. He was pretty sure that Zee was okay when he last saw him. Zee was even laughing and making jokes during the fan meet and greet. And no one saw him after that.

"We're gonna have to do this without him." Tommy said bitterly.

Saint looked at his friends and forced a smile. He nodded.

"Yeah. I guess we have to."

The three went out of the dressing room to meet the fans that have been waiting for them. They tried to be as joyous as they can. Saint in particular drowned out his worries among the screaming fans and the flashing lights from the cameras. When it was over he went home hoping that he'll fall asleep from exhaustion.

Saint closed the doors on his apartment. He leaned on it and gently tap the back of his head against the wood with a sigh. He fished out his phone from his pocket. Saint scrolled through his Line messages to Zee. It still remained unseen. There were indications of how many times he had called Zee.

He walked lazily to his bed and dove right in. With his phone still in his hands, he opened his camera roll and clicked a photo of them. Saint stared at the photo for a long time. After some time, he could his tears burning at the back of his eyes.

"Where are you?" He whispered.

He kept his eyes on the photo until he fell asleep.

"How do we do this then?" Saint asked their acting coach.

They were in the studio for the training. He stood side by side with Zee. The coach right in front of them flips through the script.

"Okay. Here. Scene 47." Their coach instructed them the right gestures, where to look and where to touch each other.

Scene 47 was one of the intimate scenes of Tutor and Fighter. Prior to the audition, Saint had never met Zee before. He only saw him on DomundiTV but never in person. Doing intimate scenes with a stranger on camera can be quite awkward for him specially on the first take, so it was a relief that the director asked both of them to work on their chemistry for their roles on the series.

Saint always saw Zee as a cool guy. Although they became well acquainted behind camera it was as if there was always an invisible wall between him and Zee.

Saint looked at the actor beside him. His thick eyebrows meets whenever he gets confused with the instruction of the acting coach.

"Put your hand on Saint's cheeks." The coach instructed once more.

Saint stood and waited for it. Zee turned to him and reached out to touch his cheek. The contact of their skin sent a surge of electricity all over Saint that he quickly moved away. And so did Zee, he retracted his hand as if he just got electrified.

The coach sighed. But it was the first day of training so he expected this much to happen.

"Okay. Let's take five. We'll pick up where we left off when I get back."

The two nodded.

Zee had his hands on his pockets, looking anywhere but Saint.

"Did you.." Saint began to ask. Zee looked at him.

"Nevermind." He smiled. Saint walked into a corner and sat down.

Not a minute had gone by when Zee was standing in front of him. He sat a few inches away from Saint.

"I have to do something later. I can't stay past lunch." Zee said to him.

"Uhhm.. Okay? You should tell that to-" Saint answered awkwardly, confused.

"Let's do scene 47." Zee interrupted. He had fire in his eyes.

"R-right now? But the coach isn't here yet." Saint answered.

"Let's do it now and then let's show him when he gets back so we could leave early." Zee leaned closer.

Saint was suddenly pressured and he found himself agreeing to what Zee wanted.

"I'll tell you what to do. Follow my lead." Zee announced as if he was the acting coach now. They both stood up to prepare for the scene.

"Let's begin." Zee said.

Saint could only nod. He could feel himself fidget where he stood. He was confused why he feels this strange. He never felt this way before and he had acting experiences with a male actor before Why R U.

Suddenly, a pair of arms were locked around his waist. Saint's heart started picking up its pace.

"Put your arms around my neck." Zee said, almost whispering. Saint did what he was told. He had read the script over and over but now that they were doing it he could hardly remember anything. He could hear Zee's heartbeat against his own chest. His lips were so close to his own.

"Closer." Zee commanded. Saint tightened his arms around Zee to pull him closer. Their lips almost touching but not quite.

"Don't look at my lips. Look me in the eyes." Zee caressed the small of his back. Saint felt a tingling sensation from it. He felt the heat gather in his face, embrassed that Zee had noticed where he was looking. He looked at Zee hesitantly.

Saint could feel the warmth that enveloped him. Everywhere Zee touched him felt like fire on his skin.

"I'll kiss you now." Zee said. Their lips too close for comfort.

Before Saint could even nod, Zee was already on his lips, kissing him lavishly. He was unresponsive. His mind turned blank at the sudden intrusion on his lips. Zee moved away from him.

"Saint. Kiss me." Zee's voice was low.

Saint swallowed and nodded profusedly.

"Sorry." He said as he mentally prepares himself.

"You have to kiss me back."

Swiftly, Zee was back on his lips. Saint opened up for Zee but he was still hesitant on what to do. Zee moved away again. His thick eyebrows were almost meeting one another. He was angry at Saint.

"Kiss me like you mean it." Zee commanded before diving back into Saint's pink lips.

Forgetting whatever inhibition that was holding him back, Saint kissed Zee, trying to reach the same passion he was being given.

"More." Zee asked in between their kiss.

Saint nibbled on Zee's lips. He pulled Zee even closer with his arms around his neck.

"Give me more.." Zee growled.

Zee tightened his embrace on Saint's waist. His tongue was invading Saint's. It was clear that he was dominating him. And for Saint, it felt good. Zee wants more and Saint just wants to please the man in front of him.

Drunk and lost on the each other's lips, they had both forgotten whatever it was they were trying to achieve.

And in that moment, nothing else mattered.