Send Me A Rainbow (Wattys2015)

3

3

       I walked into my house unbenounced to my drunken mother. I walked into my room in the small house we had, and locked the door. I grabbed my friend the razor blade. I screeched it across my wrist. I slammed open the drawer and took out a piece of note paper and a bag of pills I had labeled in all black bolded letters.

DEATH

       I grabbed a pencil and ran down to the basement. This is where my father you know.

It brings back bad memories every time I go down there. A tear hit the cold cement floor right next to my feet.

I went to the desk in the corner and began to write a note to my beloved mother.

Dear Mom,

       Today can be a day for you to forget all of the worries. I want to be remembered and loved. However there is simply no one to do so. A black hole is filling up my mind and sucking things out at the same time. This whirlwind of life is not a rollercoaster that goes up, it just goes straight down and stays there. You always used to tell me that ‘if you are at rock bottom, then the only place to go is up.’ I find this statement false in the fact that maybe rock bottom will not let you go back up. Maybe it sucks you in, and pulls you under, until you are, well, no one. I hope you know that I am not doing it here because this is where dad did it, no of course not. I am doing it here because I feel it is the place closest to where I already am. I think that pain is something used as a cover up. For all the sadness and sorrow that happens in life. It is the cycle of life.

Reproduction.

Life.

Death.

Repeat.

Afterall isn’t the only thing promised in life, death?

 

Love your son,

 

              -Anthony

 

 

I looked up at the newly lit lamp I had turned on to write my last words. Maybe now that I will be gone people will begin to notice. I took the ziploc bag I had labeled DEATH and unzipped it. I took the pills I had inside of the bag I had made. I shoved them down my throat and swallowed all but two. One came up on my shorts and one fell to the cement. I picked them both up.

I felt a mix of a pill and saliva and flem covering my pointer finger and thumb. I put them both in my mouth and swallowed. I walked over flimsily to the desk in the corner and turned off the lamp. The room began to turn and I felt myself fall back onto the cement floor. I felt a stream of red come out of my brain. I grabbed the razor I had layed on the floor next to me.

I cut deep into my arm. I could feel the blade cut through every vein, muscle, and nerve in my arm. Blood poured out.

“FASTER!” I screamed and my voice echoed in the basement. I fell backwards, to a laying position and slowly everything began to fade out.