Within His Protection (Tokyo Ghoul Fanfic)

Chapter 42

Chapter 42

(Kaneki Ken)

I can't believe it.. I almost killed Yukari again.. I'm too dangerous.. I don't wanna hurt her. I don't know what to do anymore..

If Touka-chan wasn't here.. What would've happen?

But.. If what Touka-chan said was true.. then, who would? Am I strong enough?

I said I'd protect everyone but.. How can I do so if I can't protect a single girl? Ugh.. I don't wanna hurt the ones who are important to me..

(Seijo Yukari)

My senses are starting to operate again and I opened my eyes. I saw a white ceiling, looking very familiar. Ah.. The infirmary.

Who brought me here?

"Oh, Seijo-san. You're awake." The nurse said, approaching me.

I slowly sat up. I'm feeling a little bit dizzy but, I can say I'm fine.

"Are you alright now?" She asked.

"Yes, thank you." I said.

"That's good. If it weren't for Kirishima-san, what else could've happened? By the way, your anemia is shocking, huh. You better take care of yourself." She stated with a smile.

"Yes." I said with a closed-mouth smile.

Ah.. So, Touka-senpai brought me here.. She's kind after all. Oh.. yeah.. I have no wounds.. That's good. I wonder what happened to Kaneki-kun..

Suddenly remembering that event, the blood rushed up to face and my heart started beating like crazy. I placed my hands on my face as I covered them out of embarrassment.

What the heck?!

K-K-K-Kaneki-kun and I.. k-k-kis--

Argh! It's too embarrassing to think of that! I don't wanna remember it! To think that I lost my first kiss to him, the man whom I swore my revenge on! Damn it! I can't believe it!

As I came to realization, my hands went loose and began to think of my dream where Ken kissed my forehead.

But, what else did I come back for? Yeah.. it's for him.. I chose to be with him because he needs.. me? I didn't come back for my revenge. I came back to support him..

Just what the hell am I thinking? I let that chance slipped by. I'm such an idiot. It's totally unbelievable how I forgot that I had to kill him for the sake of avenging my parents' deaths.

But, now that I've thought about it.. I don't seem to hate the current Kaneki-kun.. My point of view has changed when that dream appeared.. And also.. I hate to admit it but, it's also because of what Touka-senpai said.

I wonder why.. Is it because I finally understand that I can't kill him with my own power..? It is because I've given up..? Is it because, somehow, he's Ken that I'm hesitating to kill him..?

Or.. is it because of other things which I don't really notice it..

Geez.. It's hard to racked my brain if I'm feeling a little dizzy. I'll just ignore it since it's not that important.

Anyway.. that aside, when Kaneki-kun accidentally fell on me. I felt my power going out of me. It was like, my life was sucked forcefully. Damn, that's too scary..

*Knock!* *Knock!*

I looked at the door to see who was the person who knocked twice. To my surprise, it was Kaneki-kun. My cheeks heat up and I immediately looked away by reflex.

He walked towards me.

"How are you..?" He asked with a slight sadness mixed with apprehension.

"I-I'm fine.." I said, still looking away.

"Sorry.." He said with a slight bow.

It made me surprised that it made me look at him.

"I couldn't control myself when I'm hungry.. I'm sorry I put you in danger again.." He said.

"W-Wait, that's--"

"Do you hate me?" He asked.

"Eh..?" I exclaimed, surprised.

"I'm a monster.. I almost killed you.. I know I'm dangerous.. That's why, I'm sorry.." I said as he balled his fists and gritted his teeth.

It looks as if, he was angry and at the same time regretful of his actions. He was angry at himself.. His taking all the blame. As I watch him pitifully blamed himself, I felt my heart shatter.. I don't want to see him like that..

My hand naturally moved to reach his head. I patted him softly and gently.

"You don't have to worry. I don't hate you at all." I said with a reassuring smile.

His eyes widened a bit, enough to tell me that he was surprised.

"You.. don't hate me..? You're not scared.. of me?" He asked.

"Nope. Because, I know for a fact that Kaneki-kun is Kaneki-kun. You may have changed but, you're still the Ken that I grew up with." I smiled at him.

"But, you know that I'm dangerous so, why..?" He inquired.

"Because, you'll protect me, right? That's why, I'll believe in you." I said as I flicked his forehead.

I stood up and jumped out of the clinic's bed. I grabbed his arm and pulled him.

"Let's go or we'll be late for class!" I said with a smile.

He was shocked for a second but then, slightly smiled. His cheeks flushed pink. His mood lightened up!

"Yeah.." He said as he slightly smiled.

End of Chapter 42