simon: how do i get revenge on those who have hurt me?
spud: the best revenge is letting go and living well :)
simon:
simon: mark, how do i-
mark: brick.
+
simon: love isn't real
tommy: you're literally making a valentine's card for mark right now
simon, threatening tommy with a glue gun: you're on thin fucking ice
+
mark: i've only slept nine hours over the past four days but i feel totally fine
mark: *bites his wallet*
mark: this isn't a bagel
+
mark: *walks into a room*
simon, internally: there he is. my favorite person has arrived. my best friend. i must greet him in a manner that shows him how much i appreciate him
simon: the fuck do you want?
+
simon: *singing in the shower*
mark: *knocks on the bathroom door*
mark, softly: hey, si?
simon: yeah?
mark: please shut the hell up
+
simon: can't wait until our wedding
mark: ???? we're not even engaged
simon: oh fuck so that's what i forgot to do last night
+
mark: they don't pay me enough for this
interviewer: for what?
mark: *gestures at simon vaguely*
+
spud: i wanna go to the liquid zoo
tommy: i—the what?
mark, not looking up from the book he's reading: he's talking about the aquarium
+
alison: you can't just use the excuse 'but i'm gay' every time you make a bad decision
simon: but i'm gay
+
begbie: *grabbing spud by his jacket* SAY YOU'RE SORRY
spud: I'M SORRY
begbie: AND WHAT ARE YOU SORRY FOR?!
spud, sobbing: FOR SAYING YOU'RE AGGRESSIVE
+
[mark and diane, on a date, standing in the middle of the forest]
mark: this is my special place... i come here whenever i'm sad
diane: oh, really? thank you for trusting me enough to show it t–
mark: lol no i'm kidding we're lost
+
[simon's funeral]
mark: can i have a moment with him?
mark: *goes over to his coffin*
mark: listen to me, i know you're not dead
simon: *opening one eye* yeah no shit
+
mark: do these pants look ok?
veronika: well. they'd look better on simon's bedroom floor
simon: are you hitting on mark... for me?
