A Belgian Chocolate Waffle Cone

This story is dedicated to DeadlyDarkAngelWings who taught me how unclear it was, so I could fix it!

Anthony Robertson, entertainment reporter at Topzine, Britain's top zine for teens, here in Long Beach, California, today, 31 January 2026, where The New Little Princess is opening her first restaurant, Guatemalteca, with Guatemalan food. Let's listen, she's speaking now.

"Thank you all for comin' today! Muchas gracias y bienvenidos!  Los quiero muchá!  It's such a special time for me.  Y ahora lo compartiremos algo juntos, gratis!

For me beloved American and other English fans here today, that means [singing a cappella]:

                                                                           Right now

                                                                              It's free

                                                               'Cos one thing's on me!

That's right! One item of your choice is free.

And listen, while we're all piggin' out, let's spare a thought for the Guatemalan kiddies who have nothin' to eat but beans and tortillas. 'Cos the price of beans is up 200% since the military junta  murdered the Presidenta last September. Most people can't afford them. So 50% of all the profit from my Guatemalteca restaurant goes to the Guatemalan freedom fighters who want to overthrow the military government. You keep your money goin' in too, so we can lock up that Guatemalan Army junta  and have free elections again!"

Now, we're following the Princess into her new restaurant. It is, as you can see, decorated like a Guatemalan village cantina. 

And, as you can hear . . .

Guatemalteca

Solamente una guatemalteca

Guatemalteca

Que belleza guatemalteca . . .

The song that made "La Princesita" a Latin star last year, from her 9th birthday party video.      

*                                                                           *                                                                              *               

Now, we're seated in the Super Tourer, going off to visit the Princess' Crummer Canyon home. Well, thanks for joining . . . What is it, Princess?

"Wait a minute! What've I forgot? Me Belgian chocolate waffle cone, with whipped cream, nuts and cherries. Wouldn't start a restaurant without that, would I? I'll get one for you too, Antony!"

Look! The Princess is out the door and running back toward the restaurant!

"Och, ice cream twice in one meal? She'll be fat as a hog!"

That lady, if you don't already know, is Sal, the Princess' mother. Now she's in hot pursuit of her little Princess to fight the war of the waist. And we're right behind her . . .

See? The Princess has come out of the restaurant with one Belgian chocolate waffle cone in each hand.

That's the Super Tourer. The Princess hears it, sees it and drops her cones.

Look! The Princess has fallen down. Let's see what's happened!  

She's screaming and crying, beating the concrete with her fists.

"Carmelo, he's in the car! He's still in the car! Oh poor Carmeloo-o-o-o-!" the Princess keeps saying, shaking her head "No".

"Sal, who's Carmelo?" I ask.

"He's the driver," Sal says.

And it was only this, a Belgian chocolate waffle cone . . . that caused The New Little Princess to run out of her car, saving her, her mother and me . . . from certain death.

EPILOGUE

President Katherine "Kat" Hemingway's media conference, the White House, 3 February 2026:

THE PRESIDENT: "Well, we've solved the mystery of who put a bomb in my car and blew up the New Little Princess' car in Long Beach last weekend. It was the Guatemalan military . . ."