it had been a year. a year since i've seen his beautiful, calming, stupid face. i decided to move away, not too far of course, just some distance away where i knew he wouldn't try to follow me.
i had picked up on a new job a few months back, working behind a counter at a bakery. dream come true if we're being honest. the daily routine of communicating, selling, or sometimes baking the sweet goods we sold, clouded most of my time nowadays. then after a shift, i'd go to my apartment. simple as that, a life that i have re-built for myself without having him in the picture.
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today had been very unusual. work was slow, and the weather outside was gloomy. grey clouds rolling in the sky, but not a hint of rain. weird. sometimes i suggest that the weather follows my mood patterns. on gloomy days like this, i'd allow my mind to wander, and every once in a while, i'd slip back into thinking how i would be if i had never moved.
"daydreaming again, y/n?" a smooth, wiser voice questioned. startled, i leaned up off of the cash register, unsticking my palm from my cheek, more than likely leaving a red imprint. rosie, the owner of the bakery, and now a close friend of mine, pulled me out of my thoughts. i sighed, smiling a little, "i guess so. i'm sorry for that." rosie shook her head, "you always apologize for that, my dear. it's become a regular thing for you, hasn't it?" she asked, coming to rest on the barstool in front of the glass counter. i chewed on the inside of my cheek, "if i'm being honest, i don't know what's up lately.. letting my mind wander is now a reoccurring thing that i've dealt with recently." i answered, now really considering on looking into my new habit. rosie smiled and let out an airy laugh, "don't worry about it darlin', maybe a day or two off work would help?" she then got up off the stool, and flipped the sign from open, to close. i looked at her surprisingly. i could really use the couple of days off to relax and ease my mind. "are you sure? it's not like i said these things just to get some days of-" she raised her hand, signaling me to stop ranting. "y/n, you've really grown since you've been working here. i'm making this decision, and so therefore you deserve it. take the days off, sugar. i mean it." she whispered at the end, her crinkled eyes sparkling as she smiled. i quickly enveloped her in a hug, "thank you so much, rosie." i beamed. her shorter frame squeezed tighter around me, "you're welcome. now hurry along so i can finish closing up for the day." she laughed and grabbed the broom and dust pan. i gathered my things and made my way around back. "see ya, rosie. thank you again!" i called out, heading out the back door. rosie shook her head. "that girl reminds me of myself a long time ago." she smiled, sweeping the crumbs and dust off of the floor.
after i left work, i decided to head to the nearest hardware store. over the next few days, i decided that i finally wanted to re-paint the walls. it's a sudden decision, but i felt like doing some work around my apartment would help better understand my anxious mind.
i pulled into the parking lot and found a spot next to some shopping carts. "perfect." i mumbled to myself, hoping that the wind wouldn't blow them into the side of my car. i tugged on my jacket tighter and headed inside, quickly finding the paint aisle and started to pull some color swatches. while looking, i pulled a few different shades of purple, some of them being too vibrant, so i quickly put those back. "you know.. periwinkle goes well with softer greys." a voice stated from behind me. i laughed, assuming it was an employee, "yeah, i guess so. but my walls are more whi-" i fully turned around to see a face that i'd never thought to see again. "spencer?" i whispered softly, but i knew he heard it. "hi y/n." he greeted. "what the fuck are you doing here?" i asked, my voice raising slightly. "well um.. this is a pretty well known hardware store." he scratched his neck, breaking eye contact. i furrowed my eyebrows, "no need to be a dick." i fumed. his eyes widened, "i didn't mean it like that! i-i'm sorry. i know i'm the last person you probably wanted to see.. a-and i'm sorry we bumped into each other.." he rambled on. my mind went blank again. i was focused on the way his lips moved, or how his hands combed through his mess of curly hair. i thought back to our long nights of just appreciating one another's presence. "y/n?" he asked, interrupting my thoughts. i shook my head, "s-sorry.. look spencer, i appreciate the apology, but i do need to get going." i shoved the paint swatches in my purse, "it was nice to see you." i faked a smile. "WAIT!" he nearly yelled, grabbing my arm. i stopped walking and whipped my head back around, utterly confused. he let go of my arm and wrung his hands, "i mean.. wait. i wanted to know if we could talk. maybe catch up? it'll mean a lot to me." he inched a tiny bit closer, hinting the indecisiveness that radiated off of me. "please, y/n." he said softly. i looked back up to him, "what about you're wife? i'd expect her to be here with you somewhere, right?" i asked sternly. he lowered his head, "she filed for a divorce.." he muttered. half of me wanted to laugh and the other half wanted to comfort him, so i chose the best option, "man, that's a shocker." i said sarcastically, immediately regretting it afterwards. his eyes snapped back up to mine, "really, y/n? look, i know i've done some fucked up things, i admit that wholeheartedly, but a snarky comment like that isn't making this any easier then what it is.." he said, a hint of sadness lingered in his statement. i sighed and gave in, "fine. at least give me time to drop these things off at my apartment? we can talk tonight if you want." i reasoned. his face lit up slightly, "thank you, y/n. i-i'll send you my address-" "i know where you live, spencer. just.. how about 7, is that okay?" i shifted my weight from one foot to another, the basket i was holding seemingly growing heavier. he nodded quickly, "yeah, yeah. sorry. that's perfect." we stood there staring at each other for another good ten seconds before i broke the silence, "it was good talking to you again. i'll see you at 7, spencer." i said, but this time meaning it. he smiled, "i feel the same. see you tonight." i waved and walked off, heading towards the checkout. for some reason i felt a huge weight that i didn't know i had been carrying lift from my shoulders. we settled that out better than i had expected.
i walked back to my car, putting the paints in the backseat and hopping in the driver's seat. i sat there, inhaling a deep breath and letting the situation sink in. i'll see him tonight, i guess.
