Only in the darkest of night,
The beauty of light is visible to the onlookers eyes.
Mata tak lepas memandang dada langit. Sang bintang dan bulan yang menghiasi malam setia menemani aku. Dan aku tertanya tanya adakah orang lain juga boleh sesetia bulan dan bintang? Menemani aku ketika aku tenggelam dalam kegelapan?
Keluhan berat aku lepaskan. Hidup dalam keriuhan petang dan kesunyian malam sungguh memenatkan. Dikelilingi ramai teman, namun masih terasa kekosongan.
Aku penat.
Terlalu penat untuk mengalah.
Dan terlalu penat untuk terus melangkah.
Dengan jiwa yang kosong dan hati yang berat, aku pasakkan harapan agar suatu ketika nanti, jasad ini boleh beristirehat.
Dalam pembaringan, mata aku menangkap cahaya terang.
Sirius star.
Tangan aku terus dibawa menghala ke arah bintang yang paling terang itu, cuba untuk menggapainya. Namun hampa. Tanganku terasa kosong. Sekosong jiwaku.
Trying to reach something unreachable is one thing. But trying to reach the one that refuse to be reached is impossible.
Hujung bibir terangkat.
Dan aku juga, refuse to be reached.
Enough with all those prying eyes.
'Why you are too cold Reine?'
'Kenapa kau closed off sangat?'
'You know you can tell me everything, yes?'
'Kau memang sombong eh?'
'Are you okay?'
And all the unanswered questions.
I cant help but think that there is where both our similarities lies. We both don't know the answer to all of those questions. I myself is clueless too.
But one thing that I know, is that I want to have someone by my side. Every single moment. Every fucking time.
Someone who genuinely wants to be with me. listening to all my ramblings. And helping me with my insecurities.Because despite my hard exterior, I too, have feelings.
Oh wait.
I already had someone like that. But he ended up breaking my heart into pieces intentionally. Leaving me shattered into nothingness.
Long short story, he messed up big time.
Mata aku pejam dan tangan aku depakan. Hujung jari aku mencengkam rumput disekitar.
Tanpa diundang, kenangan silam yang pahit 7 tahun lepas menjelma diruang ingatan. Automatik, tapak tangan kanan aku letakkan pada dada kiriku.
Perit.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Inhale.
"My dear, you dont need a man to help you, you can protect yourself just fine" Suatu bisikan suara kedengaran.
I can't help but agree, that,
"I dont need them." Gumamku perlahan-lahan.
'I dont need them...'
YOU ARE READING
BEAUTY THROUGH PAIN (Malay Novel)
RomanceNo words could describe how hard one can fall in love. And to what length will they sacrifice in the name of love. Because love is destruction. A catastrophe and yet a masterpiece.
