A young lady is supposed to be classy, kind, generous, and respectful. She is told she should not display any anger and/or badmouth her peers. A young lady is told to think 'inside the box' and to limit her expectations because her husband will provide for her in the future.
A young lady is taught to never fuss or complain and to always keep a smile on her face. When a young lady speaks her mind, she is told that she is not acting "ladylike."
When a young lady steps out of her comfort zone to challenge herself to fight for what she wants, she is told she is not acting "ladylike."
When a young lady plays a sport, and at times she may be aggressive, she is told that she is not acting "ladylike."
When a young lady is bossy, she is told to humble herself because that is not acting "ladylike." Maybe she isn't bossy, maybe she is confident within herself, has high self-esteem and knows she can dare to be different.
I remembered when my daughter was in middle school. She had her books in her hand, walking to class. A young boy was leaning on the wall, put his foot out and tripped my daughter. She hit the ground hard and fell on her knees; her face almost hit the ground. For some unknown reason, everyone thought it was funny. However, everyone was in a state of shock when my daughter brushed herself off and round-house kicked him in his private parts!
Everyone ran to the young man's rescue. However, there wasn't one person who bothered to ask my daughter if she was okay. There was a teacher who saw the whole thing, yet he defended the young man.
When a young lady no longer plays with baby dolls or toy kitchens, and she's trying to find where she fits in today's society, she is told she needs to learn how to cook, clean, wash, and provide for her husband and family. Why is that so?
Why can't a young lady, learn how to cook, clean and wash clothes so she can learn how to take care of herself? It is imperative that a young lady should know how to love and take care of herself first, before she feels she can love and take care of anyone else.
That is where the mistakes begin. A young lady is brought up to put others first. This is when a woman grows up and plays the fool for others because her self-worth was never built on solid ground. Instead, it was built on being a "people pleaser" and putting her life on the back burner.
Consequently, her feelings didn't matter, and her thoughts didn't exist because for so long she was taught to put other people before herself. The question that is never asked is, what happens when a woman (who was once a young lady groomed to give every ounce of herself) loses herself to the point where she has to find a way to dig herself out of the deepest hole? This seems impossible. She doesn't know how because she wasn't ever taught how to express her feelings, troubles, and/or grieve.
The young lady was once a rose without thorns because she was taught how to take care of everyone else, as opposed to taking care of herself. After the betrayals, hurt, pain and bitterness, she becomes a rose with thorns. However, the thorns pricked and scared her, because she was groomed to be what other people wanted her to be. Now she has to learn how to handle the thorns of life on her own.
As the thorns grow thicker and sharper, her personality changes; she is now labeled as bitter, quick-tempered, and a bad influence on others because her attitude has changed. Sad to say, the same people who molded her to be the "perfect" young lady, are the ones who are back-biting her. They fail to realize it was their doing. Everyone should be born with thorns so that they are entitled to make mistakes and learn from them. They will know how it feels to love, to be loved, and to know how to heal if love doesn't work out accordingly.
Most importantly, a little girl should be taught that she should love herself first, flaws (thorns) and all. However, she's been raised as a rose without knowing how to handle the pricks from the thorns. She's left alone to learn how to heal.
A young lady should have the free will to get out of the box and follow her dreams. Leadership is needed to help her live the best life she can live for herself, and let everything else fall into place.
A young lady is taught to never fuss or complain, and to always keep a smile on her face. When a young lady speaks her mind, she is labeled as being impolite and is told to be cautious and mindful of what she says.
Instead of being groomed for her future husband and/or career, a young lady should be first taught to love herself. I am a firm believer that if you put yourself first and find out who you are as a person, everything else will fall into place.
Sadly, that is not what a young lady is taught.
We are taught to love others and to put everyone's needs before our own. We are taught to make sacrifices at an early age to the point where we do not know any better as we age. The edges of our life are rough because we do not know who we are as a person.
After we become a daughter, we become a wife to our husbands and a mother to our children. I believe that is why a woman smiles through the pain because she was always told what she couldn't or shouldn't do. Regardless of this, she believed in herself and made it happen.
~Charlena E. Jackson, A Woman's Love is Never Good Enough 2nd edition
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A Woman's Love is Never Good Enough 2nd edition
SpiritualeA Woman makes so many sacrifices on a daily basis for her spouse, her children, family, and friends, which often goes unnoticed and unappreciated. A woman's love and kindness are often perceived as weakness. She is discriminated against in the workp...
