Star Wars Episode X: Afterlife

The Desert

Author's Note: Hola friends! This is the teaser chapter for this new book. Beware...I definitely cried writing this part - real feelings after seeing TROS. There's big plans for this novel! Enjoy ♡

*

Dust and sand...it was everywhere. It got in every nook and cranny, caused friction between clothes and skin; a peaceful dune in the desert struck by a gale wind led to it spreading even further.

Rey thought there would be solace in this place, but instead she'd grown to despise the sand more than ever. This was the next step, but a hasty one not properly thought through.

When Ben died, her mind could barely comprehend what the next step was.

Get back to your friends.

And so she did, flying back to Takodana in Luke's old X-wing. She'd arrived half-dazed in the midst of a victorious crowd, stumbling to find each familiar connection in hopes it would make her whole again.

That lasted hours, but beyond that she still felt the emptiness gnaw at her insides. The Jedi texts were the next lead to healing, ripping the books wide open; she scoured page after page in order to fill up the vacant space in her head.

Luke Skywalker's old diary gave her comfort; reading the inner thoughts of a Jedi was soothing, but knowing the history of all his actions performed out of fear, it was hard to reign in her bias. Books were slammed shut in her frustration.

Tatooine was mentioned as his former home, location completely described, in the personal scribbles on the weathered pages.

I need a place to call home.

With the First Order gone, she could do whatever she wanted and be hunted no more. The days on Tatooine would be peaceful, safe, and end with quiet sleeps.

The first morning in the dugout home was strange, a startling wake up in a new place with none of her friends around. Small goals were accomplished throughout the day, cleaning sand out of a room, scouting above ground for new visitors, and cleaning tools for the next job.

However, every morning thereafter grew more and more meaningless. Waking up became increasingly difficult, with fatigue still clinging to Rey long after a viable sleep. A deep ache settled into her bones that she couldn't seem to shake, and moments where her memory failed her even on simple things.

Months went by with no improvements, and Rey began to wonder if something was terribly wrong with her physical body.

There was a part of her that was disturbingly hollow and her body knew it. Her mind confirmed suspicions too; but it was her soul that didn't know how to cope with the loss of what could have been.

Ben.

Not a single night had passed since Exegol where she hadn't thought of the dark-haired Ben Solo she'd shared a forcebond with.

Her feelings had nowhere to go, with no one to talk to about them. Finn and Poe would never understand what happened, nor believe her about what had transpired. It was simply a private secret now deeply affecting her daily life.

Staring off into the horizon as the twin suns both set, tears spilled silently as she rested her chin on her knee and her chest ached with emotion.

Rey hadn't known love in a very long time, not since she was a little girl. The love of belonging to a family was an old thing she could reminiscence about, but this love was different.

Being attracted to Kylo Ren was quite surprising, but falling in love with Ben Solo came completely unexpected. It was confusing and tumultuous, but she was drawn to him in a way she couldn't explain.