𝐔𝐤𝐢𝐲𝐨 タ永唄

𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 13

I was the only one who knew that he starved himself. He wanted to be like the other students, he hated his chubby cheeks but slowly killing yourself isn't always the answer your looking for.

I dreaded going to school but hated going home more. The smell of rotten food and beer reeking through everything we owned. Rats everywhere in our house, dad passed out on the couch in front of the Tv showing nothing but static yet when you see him sitting there he is laughing. We though he was being brainwashed like people in movies.

My room was the cleanest and always smelled good. Back when things were good dad used to be a clean freak, sometimes his OCD still takes over but he just have a mental breakdown and promise us he will fix things. Find a job... be like he used to... but every time it only last for a month and then he gets fired or he quit. Things go well for 2 months and then its back to normal. Every time my mother falls for it. Maybe she never lost hope like i did. Maybe she still believed that he would change.

She always convinced me to believe him but i stopped when i was little.

My heart stopped when i was about 9 or 10 maybe thats when I stopped listening to myself and started listening to what others thought of me.