A Splintered FanFic- The Start Of Forever

Chapter Five: The Decision

(SPOILER ALERT)

Date: September 6, 2014

Where: The Red Court portal; Wonderland

We spent the rest of my vowed time at the Red Court. Morpheus wanted to show me all the perks of being a queen in Wonderland. If I chose to stay here, I could have anything I wanted. Have a midnight-cake-craving? No problem, I have a whole staff ready to cater to my every whim. Anything, and everything. Mine. It's a lot to take in, having so much power. Morpheus seemed to be encouraged by my unbelieving expression. It was adorable watching him proudly point out one thing after another. It was as if he was showing off a new hat.

If I stayed here I would be queen and everyone would love me. If I stayed with Jeb, I would be hated and considered mad. People don't forget when you burn down the gym and ruin prom... Twice. But we could leave and go to a different city. We could go to London together, just like we wanted. We could be happy. Plus, if there was a dire emergency, I would be close to the rabbit hole.
I'll have to consider all this when I decide.

It's 11:59 am. One more minute and I can leave. I can leave and I can see Jeb. One more minute till I have 24 hours to decide. I'm startled from my thoughts when Morpheus lifts my face so I have to look at him. He seems to be having trouble with what he is going to say. He finally makes up his mind and speaks.

"Alyssa..." He starts out. "Stay here. You know we will be together someday. We have both seen Ivories vision. We will give Wonderland it's dream child. Our child." He rubs his thumb over my cheek.
"Morpheus, I don't want to have a relationship based off a vision that might come true. I need to have the time to figure out if this is real." I say. I then add in a lower voice,
"Do we," he drags his soft hand from my check to my lip. "Not feel," now his hand is snaking behind my head, his figures moving into my hair and lower neck. "Every bit as real," He leans in, my heart picks up pace and pounds in my chest. "As this?" His lips meet mine. At first it's gentle. But as he becomes more confident, the kiss becomes a little hungrier. I can tell he's holding back though. He scared to give to much of himself, then be left broken later. I pull back and look into his eyes, those beautiful eyes. His jewels show affectionate lavender. However, his eyes are concerned about why I pulled away.

"Morpheus, I-" I'm startled by a loud bang. 12:00. I look to my right, towards the portal. "Goodbye" I run to the portal, but before I walk through I look back at him. His wings are drooping a little. He thinks I rejected him! It breaks my heart. I shout, "thank you, I enjoyed it, really. Talk to Gossamer!" Then I go through the portal. I envision the mirror in my room with all my heart, which is not easy to do when my mind is thinking a million and one things.

I wait for the nausea to pass. I sit down on the edge of my bed and drag my hand over my face. I get up mechanically. I can't think about what I'm going to do. I work on auto pilot; I comb my hair out. I go to the kitchen and make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and I force myself to eat it. I go take a hot shower, where I stand under the water and wash away Wonderland. I dry off, get dressed and sit back down on my bed. It's 6:20. I yawn and realize how exhausted, I am. I set an alarm to get up at 10:00 tomorrow morning. I curl up on my bed. I don't even bother to change or get a blanket. I'm too tired.
I wake up to Falling in Reverse playing loudly as my alarm. I sit up and stretch. Today I have to talk with Jeb. I could still have a life with him. I daydream about him drawing me in front of Big Ben. He should be at the art museum working right about now. I'll wait till he is out of work to call him.
I get up and make myself eggs and toast before going to the bathroom and putting on my make-up armor. I line my eyes with black eyeliner and gold eyeshadow. I apply a light pink gloss to my lips and a tad of blush to my cheeks. I look at the time. 10:30.

I whip out my phone and start to dial Jeb's number. My finger hovers over the call button. What am I going to say? I just need to see him. I press call and fidget with the tulle of my petticoat while it rings.

"Hey, Al. What's up?" He answers.

"Meet me at our sanctuary in 10."

"Okay." I hear a hint of worry in his voice. "Is everything okay? Are you hurt." No, nothing is okay. My heart hurts.

"I'm fine, I just need to see you."

"Alright, I will be right there." I hang up. Deep breath. Okay. I walk out of my room, through the kitchen, out the door, and over to the willow tree. I pull back one of its long draping branches. Someone grabs me and pulls me into a kiss. I relax and kiss back, but guilt stabs my heart. I was kissing Morpheus not even a day ago. I pull back. I look him over. His hair is almost to his shoulders again.

"I missed you, " I say looking into his eyes.

He looks a little confused. "I miss you too, Al... What's going on?" I stay silent. "You were with him weren't you? Did he put his filthy hands on you?" He has a look of disgust on his face. He couldn't even say his name. He lets go of me.

"No! It wasn't like that!"

"Don't lie to me!"

"Please, stop yelling." I say quietly. He calms down a little. He turns back to me and puts his hands on my face.

"He's in your head. You're not thinking for yourself." He pushes.

"I know what I'm doing."

"You're not one of them. You're not like him. It's not safe for you there. You need to stay here, with me." He's not asking. He's telling me.

"I am like him. Wonderland is a part of me whether you like it or not. I am so sick of you telling me what to do! I can take care of myself. I can make my own decisions." I throw back at him.

"Clearly you can't." He takes a deep breath. "Al, I love you. I just want what's best for you." He tries to stroke my face, but I step back.

"No. Just.. Don't touch me right now.." I look desperate. "You barely know who I am anymore. I don't want to have to hide who I really am." I open my wings and spread them wide. "This! This is who I am!"

"No it's not!" He says forcefully. "You're human like me."

A single tear slips down my cheeks and falls to the dirt below. "I think you should go."

"Al-"

"Go!" I shout. He looks like he wants to put up a fight, but decides not to and slips away, back into the shadows of his own back yard. I can't hold it in anymore. I cry. I crumble down and cry into the grass. I feel like my life is crashing down around me. I cry till I can't cry anymore. An hour goes by.

11:55.

I can build a new life.

I've made my decision.