imagines (dolan twins) (complete)

devils territory pt.14

y/n's pov:

I woke up to ethans arm resting carelessly around my lower back and him on his stomach drooling as low snores left his mouth. It had finally started to settle in as I laid awake thinking.

he has killed a man right in front of me and has probably killed more man than I have even been acquainted with

I swallowed a lump in my throat and found myself getting scared at the thought

what if he hurt me? would he hurt me?

I got nauseous as the sound of the gun being shot played in my head, my mind made up disturbing images of what went on behind the closed doors. I jumped out of my bed rushing to the bathroom before I threw up any place else I had made it to the toilet. It wasn't long before I felt his large hands softly pull back my hair into a make shift pony tail and him hide his face on my shoulder as if he were scared to see vomit.

I know he has seen far worse, how does vomit compare to brain matter?

I close my eyes and pushed him back as I leaned up from throwing up, "you killed a man" I looked at him as tears were in my eyes from gagging and throwing up what I had in my stomach.

Ethan let out a sigh, "baby. you told me to end it and I did. all that bullshit I used to do its gone its out" he assured me, but I was not done.

"how many men have you killed?" I spat at him and wiped the vomit off my mouth with my sleeve and my eyes with the other.

He looked down, "what the hell do you think I do? Keep track of them, no. I want to forget it ever happened. I am not proud of it y/n" he said offended by my question.

"why?" I softened by voice almost to a whisper and grabbed his hand playing with his rings he had forgotten to remove from his fingers.

"Just know I would never do anything without reason and I would never ever hurt you. understand?" he said softly taking my hands, stopping me from playing with his rings and kissing them.

I just nodded when he looked up at me for my response.

"you okay?" he asked turning his offense into a soft emotion of sympathy as he wiped another tear that had fallen down my cheek. "yeah." I took off my sweater hating the smell of the vomit that reeked from its sleeve.

Ethan flushed the toilet and softly picked my shirtless body up and placing me on the counter. "brush your teeth okay? I am going to get you a water and a shirt to wear."

my mind still wandered but I let it all go. I let myself push it away and buried it away towards the back of my mind but still in reach as the fear remained.

I brushed my teeth and looked at myself in the mirror I found myself looking at my breast and stomach questioning if I was enough for Ethan, and did I fit his desires. If he found beauty in me. I was raised never to feed off a mans approval but I wanted him to approve of me more than anything.

I hated that I craved it.

I looked past myself in the mirror and found him looking at me, "I got your water" he sat it on the side of the sink and looked in the mirror rubbing my back. His warm hand caused goosebumps to appear on my skin.

I hummed as a response to the contact "thank you."

Ethan's pov:

I pressed my lips to her shoulder and closed my eyes, "do you feel sick still?" she shook her head no and laid her head back onto my shoulder.

she continued to admire us in the mirror as a small smile formed, "I was just thinking.." I could tell it was more than that and wanted to know more.

I softly picked her up from the counter and set her down only for her to turn around and face me "about?" I asked not really pushing her for the answer but I wanted to encourage her to be honest with me and know she was able to open up to me.

"you killing him. you killing daniel" she spoke softly and went to grab my hands, I assumed she wanted to play with my rings again.

"Is that all you going to do?" I raised my voice, her face filled with confusion and worry

was she worried I was going to hurt her?

"are you just going to keep remind me I fucking killed him?" I shouted a bit louder making her jump.

she shook her head no and placed her hands on my chest and pushed me back "I think you should leave ethan."

"don't worry baby doll I am leaving right now" I scoffed and left the bathroom walking to her room grabbing my coat and leaving her alone slamming the door I got into my car and sped off.

I was going to change for her, and I wanted to change for her. she couldn't get past my past and the mistakes I made. I knew what I did was bad, It was really bad. I knew it was a lot and she would see me differently for a while but I thought love would mask everything, we could forget it and move on.

I sped up clenching my jaw as I gripped the wheel, "what the fuck am I doing?!" I shouted to myself. I shouldn't have left, I should not have raised my voice at her I should have talked to her, I should have made her promises I could keep.

I decided then I was going to turn myself in.

authors note:

unedited: ignore spelling errors

hey babies, I decided to make a new paragraph each time someone spoke to like break up such big paragraphs. Italics is still thoughts or just an add-on like a decision. this ending might not be the happiest.

Thank you all for the kindness and patience

@sweetedols & @swainstyles on instagram :')