Stucky #1ONESHOTS

⋆1. All of me

Summary: Bucky has been paying on and off visits to Steve's apartment. One night Steve is listening to music and Bucky interrupts 

Warnings: none

Timeline: A few months after the winter soldier. 

song used: All of me by John Legend 

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Steve scares awake, another Bucky dream. Since Bucky visited him exactly three weeks ago (no Steve didn't write down the date, of course he didn't) his dreams of Bucky became more and more to the point he can only dream about Bucky. Sometimes it's a nice dream, they'll be back in the 30's, having fun as the innocent children they were. 

Sometimes it's a fucking nightmare, like tonight. Most of the time it's Bucky leaving him. Or Bucky in pain. Or Bucky crying for help. Just every dream where Bucky isn't happy is a nightmare for Steve. 

Steve gets out of bed and walks out of his bedroom. He lives in a average forth floor apartment in Brooklyn. It has a kitchen connected to the living-room with a big window. The bathroom is connected to the bedroom and when you walk out of the bedroom door, you're in the kitchen. same when you enter the actual house, you open the door, you're in the kitchen. 

He stumbles into the kitchen and gets himself a glass of water. While drinking it he looks at the clock on the microwave, it's 12.36 am. Steve sighs, he could've gone out with Natasha, and by this time he'd be in some gay club that Nat would've dragged him in, dancing. But instead Steve stays home every day, waiting for Bucky to might stop by. 

He starts making himself hot chocolate, like his mother would do when he was feeling sad, or sick, or both. He's feeling the first emotion. 

He misses Bucky. And yeah, he knows he has feelings for him. After Bucky visited three times Steve realized that it wasn't  friendship. From his side at least. And that makes him sad. 

He hates that they finally live in a world where it could be accepted, two men loving each other, but listen to it, two men. And here we have only one men loving the other. Steve flinches a few times, trying not to cry. He hates these thoughts, these late night depression thoughts. 

His chocolate is done and he sprinkles a little cinnamon over it, then walks over to the couch and throws a fluffy blanket over his big, strong, body. He sits down and stares out of the big window. 

His eyes start tearing up again looking out of the window, he's thinking how it would be if Bucky was here, next to him, holding a mug of hot chocolate too, cuddled up with him in the fluffy blanket. 

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Bucky slowly lets himself fall against the cold alley-wall. He feels hungry, cold, tired. What he would do to be with Steve right now. 

No, stop it, his brain thinks, but Steve, no stop, but Steve, NO, but I know him, NO, we won't go to him, but- NO

Bucky sighs, his mind goes like this the whole day. He's walking around Brooklyn and sees a blond haired boy, his mind goes Steve is that Steve, and sometimes it actually is, and then his heart starts racing, and he wants to walk up to him and say and hi and- but then the dark side of his mind comes in and says no. 

At diner time, he walks around the streets, looking at the couples, and couple of friends going to grab a bite and his stomach howls, and so does his heart. Sometimes, after a solid four, five days of not eating, he knows he's getting close, and then the dark side gives in, and they go to Steve. 

But Bucky just wants to go to Steve, always. Not only when he's close to dying of hunger, or in desperate need of a shower, and clean clothes, or a dose of love. He always needs that last one tho, but the dark side won't approve that.