Reddit Entitled Parents

EM accuses me of stealing my own car keys

This happened yesterday, and yes, it was as stupid as it sounds.

So, for some quick context, I'm a cleaner at a private school. It costs something like £25k a year to send your kid here, so you can imagine the amount of rich, entitled BS that goes on. You already know who EM and me are, so let's get into it.

It's 4pm, and I've been at work for an hour just getting on with what I'm doing, and the EM comes storming into the classroom I'm cleaning.

EM: You need to move your car.

Me: What? Why?

EM, speaking very slowly and loudly for some reason: Y O U N E E D T O M O V E Y O U R C A R.

Me, copying her tone: N O I D O N ' T.

EM: (does some confused blinking) Why are you talking like that?

Me: Because you were.

EM: Ugh, whatever, just move your stupid car. Its blocking me, and I have an appointment.

Me: Lady, my car isn't blocking you. I'm parked along the back row, by a hedge, blocking nobody.

EM: You're lying! Come and move your car right now!

This goes on for about 5 minutes, and eventually I figure she won't shut up unless I do something.

Me: Look, if I prove that my car isn't the one blocking you, will you get out of my face?

EM: Finally, just move the stupid thing so I can go.

So I go get my keys from the cupboard where my stuff is, EM practically glued to my shoulder the whole time, go to the car park, press the button on my key, and the lights blink on my beat up Fiat in the corner.

Me: See, my car. Right there. Not blocking anyone. Thinking that's the end of it, I turned to go back to my job, and she started screaming behind me.

EM: You stole those keys! That's not your car, your car is in front of mine! Get your keys right now and move it!

Me: Okay, which car do you think is mine? (I figured if it's a staff member's car, I could direct the crazy bitch to them)

She marched over to a Range Rover (presumably hers) which was blocked in by a brand new Porsche - A BRAND NEW FREAKING PORSCHE - and glared at me.

I must have stared at her for at least 10 seconds before I started laughing my ass off.

Me: Lady, if you think I could afford that car on a part time cleaning job, you must be delusional.

She then started yelling about how I'm deliberately stopping her leaving, and she's going to have my car towed, but I just walked away. I don't get paid enough to deal with that crap. I have no idea what happened after that, but I really hope the Porsche driver didn't leave for another few hours, just to stick it to her.

- u/kitkins13