Welcome to my World (私の世界へようこそ) -BL story-

Forbidden Truth

This is just getting to much.. I don't know how I'm supposed to do this.. What I'm supposed to say. I feel like I'm going to explode from the inside out and there is nothing which can stop it.. But as long as I just act normal nothing should go wrong... What Draco said.. He's definitely got the wrong person.. After all... how could Dean possibly...

The lights flashed through the window beside me as I stared out, not paying attention, lost in deep thought. Dean sat in the seat next to the other window in the back of the black car.

After talking to Draco I was taken outside where I was put into a car ready to take me back home.. Well, to the dorms that is. I was blindfolded, but eventually the blindfold was removed and I realised that we were crossing the bridge from one side of the city to the other. I noticed Dean was sitting in the car with me but we haven't spoken... Something about the way he was staring out of the window made me feel like I shouldn't talk to him.. And to be honest I didn't feel like talking to him right now either. My mind was still trying to wrap my head around what I had been told.. Asked to do by Draco...

Below the bridge, a long wide river laid, flowing gently through the middle of the large city and towards the vast open ocean which lies just over the large buildings in the distance and just below the brightly coloured, orange glowing clouds being lit up by the setting sun. It was a beautiful view, but as much as I wanted to feel as calm and relaxed as the flow of the river, my mind cluttered with overwhelming thoughts of exactly how I felt, whether Draco had the right person when he had given me his request, and whether what he thought would happen in the future, was correct at all... Thinking about everything made my chest feel heavy and my mind feel as though it was about to explode... After all, that future is impossible.

I glanced back over the dark haired man sitting across from me in the black car as the sound of the motor and the feeling of the movement returned. He wasn't moving, nor did his eyes shift from their gaze out of the spotless car window, he looked as though he was in deeper thought than I was. I wondered what he could be thinking about, I don't know a lot about Dean, but I always drifted into the thought of what he could possibly be thinking about, I could never tell how he felt, or what he had on his mind... I had thought about asking him, but although we were close physically, we were far apart mentally.

I remembered back to the kiss before Draco walked into the room, the way it felt so much different from all of the others... How, for some reason, it was so much gentler.. And how it made me wonder whether he got the same feeling in his chest when he kissed me... I wonder? Does he know what that feeling is? What it means? Because I would really like to know... Is it me being nervous? Or perhaps embarrassed or ashamed? I honestly didn't know... But I wanted to find out...

The rest of the car trip was silent, I turned back to look out of the window as we passed through the dark streets lite with small bright lights of shops, signs and light posts. Every few minutes I would glance back at Dean only to find him continuing to stare blankly out of the car window motionlessly. Finally we arrived back at the school grounds.

I turned to Dean one last time as my hand reached for the door handle on my right only to find him still staring out of the window.

For a moment, I almost asked him. Asked him about what he was thinking about, whether or not he felt anything in this chest when he kissed me, about him and his background... I wanted to talk to him properly and get to know him... Because something in the back of my mind told me that although I found the key to his dorm room by chance, and although I just so happened to have beer spilt on me which made me want to go to his room, this all happened on purpose...

Pushing the questions to the back of my mind I turning back to the car door and pushed the handle down, pushing the car door open slightly with a sigh, letting one of my legs slip to land on the ground as I began to step out of the car.