12 | Worth It

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Jennie | Worth It










Flashback:








"Is she in here?!"

Mrs. Moonbyul abruptly stood up from the chair beside the bed and instantly placed her finger on her lips,

"She's still unconscious," she whispered softly. And, seeing Lisa's figure laying silently on the bed, I immediately felt relief wash away the anxiety that had been bubbling up the moment my eyes locked to hers in the cafeteria.

I carefully and cautiously walked to her side and took in a sharp breath seeing her pained features. I placed my trembling hand onto my lips feeling a sob trying to escape from my throat. I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry, I wanted to shower Lisa with all the love that I had in me.

But I couldn't do any of that.

"I did this to you," I whispered, placing both of my hands onto hers. She looked so broken even in her sleep and it was all because of me. I lifted my free hand and ghosted the skin of her pale cheeks with the tips of my fingers,

"I'm so sorry Lili," I quietly said with a whimper following after as her eyebrows suddenly scrunched together and a painful groan escaping her bruised full lips. I placed the palm of hand onto her cheeks and rubbed soothing circles on her smooth skin with my thumb,

"Shhh, I'm here Lili. It's okay," I repeated. A small smile slowly painted my lips watching Lisa's body suddenly soften. I puff out a breath as peace was evident in her face before averting my eyes to our History teacher across from me.

"How long has she been like this?" I asked. Mrs. Moonbyul sent a small sad smile,

"Maybe for about 40 minutes, it seems like she hasn't eaten or slept properly in days."

I frowned with a tear slipping out of my eye with the way I felt my heart clenching in the worst way possible. I looked down at Lisa again and angrily questioned myself.

Why?

Why am I such a coward?

Why can't I fight harder for you?

But if I did, I know I'd still lose you.

"You guys are best friends correct?"

Without missing a beat, or looking away from Lisa's sleeping face, I simply nodded,

"We are," but to me, we were so much more than that. Knowing Lisa felt the exact same way was making my heart ache in both good and bad way. Good because it's a beautiful sensation knowing your feelings are reciprocated. Bad because you can't do anything about it. Mrs. Moonbyul hummed to that and sat herself back down onto the chair next to Lisa.

"If that's the case, then why have you both distanced yourself?"

I stiffened and slowly removed my gaze from Lisa. I meet the teachers eyes and wiped away my tear. I dryly chuckled,

"Is it that obvious?" I asked. Mrs. Moonbyul simply shrugged and sent me a kind smile with her eyes staring at me knowingly.

"I'm just observant. Usually you both would cause a bit of a ruckus in the back of my class," she teased. I remained silent for a moment before sighing in defeat and seating myself on the side of Lisa bed.

"If I tell you, you cannot tell anybody. Not even Lisa."

Mrs. Moonbyul simply nodded and leaned on her thighs, watching me patiently as I fidgeted under her gaze nervously. I lowered my eyes to my hands and fought back the tears trying to fight their way out.

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