Vague Existence

Chapter 28: Mew

"What did you tell him Malee?" These are my first words to her when I got back to my place.

She was fixing breakfast when I arrived. "Who?"

"Gulf."

"That's Gulf? That's my competition?"

"Don't play games with me, you know who he is. You researched him, the moment I attempted to break up with you." Her face changed. Now this is the Malee I know, cunning, smart and competitive. She turned her back to me.

"Then why didn't you say anything then?"

"What for? You're going anyway. I'll fix it when you're gone."

She faced me, "We have an agreement Mew."

"The agreement has nothing to do with feelings."

"Haha, you're joking right? How is that even possible Mew? You think he'll understand? You think he'll stay with you when he finds out how fucked up you are?"

"He just needs to wait." I said unsure of myself all of a sudden.

"Well, I'm not going anywhere Mew."

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I went and stayed in my office the whole weekend. I can't see her. Seeing her reminds me of how twisted and fucked up my situation is.

When I met her a few years back, I was a mess. I was drinking in the plane and got to a fight with one of the passengers and she was the one who attended to me. She was the one who saw me at my weakest. She was getting married then but she left her fiance because of me. I didn't know at that time that she was attached because I really didn't bother to ask. By the time I knew about it, I was already full of guilt, I can't leave her.

Three years ago, she planned to end things with me after finally realizing that this is going nowhere. I refused and told her that we could still work things out. She was the only one who knows my darkest secrets and she can help me get back the school. She agreed.

Last Wednesday, when I was buried to the legal documents my uncle has assigned to me in his law firm, I decided to end it with her. I told her about Gulf because she stayed with me for so long and I owe her the truth. But what did I really expect, she devoted almost five years of her life to me. I can't really blame her if she refuses to let me go.

Gulf was the one that was not part of my plan. Gulf was the accident in my life. The most beautiful accident that turned everything upside down.

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Monday came. Practice.

I didn't see Gulf the whole day. Either that or he is avoiding me. But he can't avoid me during practice.

"Coach, where are the players?"

"Huh? It's just 4 Mew. Practice is 5."

"Don't they warm up before practice?"

Coach looked at me like I have two heads,"Warm-up is part of the practice."

"Right. Right. Well where do the players usually stay before practice then?"

"They usually hang-out in the mechanical lab since most wait for Gulf."

Sigh. It took me forever to get that information."Got it. Thanks coach."

I reached the mechanical lab just in time to see Gulf drilling a metal. He is wearing a protective gear and overalls. He looks sweaty and hot.

Oh my God. The way he held the drill in his hands, the way he looks at the metal, even the sweat in his forehead all look like this is a photoshoot for a magazine. This is my man and I can't even claim him properly.

The drill was so loud, he didn't see me approaching him. I waited for him to finish.

Once he placed the drill on the table, "Gulf."

He took off his mask then looked at me.

"Can we talk?"

"We have nothing to talk about."

" I came here to talk about Malee."

'Not interested." He took off his gloves and went to the other side of the room to get his things.

"Let's not make this difficult for the both of us-------"

He turned around quickly, his brows knitted together. "Difficult? I don't really see how it's difficult. The way I see it, my life without you is fucking amazing."

"Gulf, 5 minutes that's all I ask."

"1 minute."

"That's not enough, even the 5 minutes is not enough for me to exp----"

He turned around.

"Okay. 1 minute."

He looked at me. "Listening."

"Time. I just need time. Just until the school year's over then we can work things out. I am just sorting things out with my uncle. By the end of the school year----"

"By the end of the school year, I won't be here anymore."

"You're still going?"

"That was always the plan. I never changed it."

I looked at him. Feeling hopeless, angry and frustrated. "We can work things out Gulf."

"Why? Are you leaving your fiancé?" He looked at me. I didn't have to tell him my answer. He already knows.

He walked out looking like he's so tired of my shit. I am too, Gulf. I am too.

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Practice was like it came out of an action movie, with a lot of running and chasing. Gulf was literally a beast tonight. No one can stop him. He has scored several times even his teammates didn't need to work for it.

After the game everyone was exhausted. Coach gathered everyone again before letting us go.

"That was great Gulf! But you have to share the ball too, make your teammates work for it."

"Noted coach. By the way, I don't think we would need professor in the practice anymore since I was able to score. Besides, he might be busy with other things. We don't want to pressure him."

"Right." The coach turned to me."He's actually right Mew. It's okay if you don't come to practice anymore. Actually I was suppose to tell you that earlier as well. They have been performing very well even last week."

Another lost time with Gulf. "Sure coach, anything you say."