The Little Things

13. Christmas

"Bella? Will you talk to me?" I asked softly, entering her room.

She didn't move from her fetal position on her armchair. I walked around the chair to face her. She was very pale and had dark circles under her eyes. She was unbearably thin and seems like a strong gust of wind would blow her away.The late evening light barely lit up the dark room and made her look rather ghost like. She could have actually been dead and I probably wouldn't notice for the way she had been acting lately.

I flicked on her desk lamp and she flinched, but was otherwise unresponsive. With the way she looked and acted, I almost wouldn't be surprised to wake up one morning and find that she had turned into a zombie or ghost or some other creepy thing. But I certainly hoped not, vampires and werewolves were enough supernaturalness to deal with.

"Bella, it's almost Christmas. Dad is worried about you." I said.

She just blinked and turned away.

I sighed in exasperation. "Please Bella. Dad would be really happy if you would get up and talk to us. Especially for Christmas. You haven't been here for Christmas in years."

She mumbled something to quietly for me to hear.

"What did you say?" I leaned forward.

"He's gone. He left. They left without me." She whispered.

"Bella, that was months ago. This isn't healthy! He isn't coming back! You can't stay like this forever!" I exclaimed. It was like she was hypnotized but worse.

When he first left Bella in the woods I was sympathetic towards her. It was understandable that she was upset and not herself-her boyfriend had left her without a warning or a second thought. But after four months of irrational and zombie like behaviour, I was fed up.

That got a rise out of her and she glared at me. "You always hated him. You're probably glad he's gone." She turned away.

This was probably the most she had spoken at one time since he left.

"Bella please. Just for Christmas. For Dad." I begged.

She didn't move.

I plopped down on the edge of her bed. "The entire time you've been here you've been with Edward or mooning over him. Do you know how happy Dad was when he heard you were coming? He couldn't shut up about it!"

She winced when I said his name but didn't seem to hear the rest of it. I felt like grabbing her and shaking her until she spoke. Instead I got up to leave.

I stopped with my hand on the door handle. "You should at least try to be back to normal. You are hurting everyone around you and all you can think of is how your boyfriend broke up with you."

As usual she didn't respond so I left. Every few days I tried talking to her with the same results and it was driving me up the wall. I had tried everything from begging to shouting to pleading and bribing. Nothing ever worked.

I decided to take a shower to relax. I grabbed my pyjamas and headed for the bathroom.
When I reached for my shower gel and shampoo I found Bella's instead. Her strawberry scented shower gel. The same shower gel that had plagued me for months. Because of my allergy to strawberries, I couldn't stand anything strawberry. Just another wedge between Bella and myself. I laughed bitterly to myself.

After locating my coconut scented body wash and shampoo I scrubbed hard at my body until I collapsed in a heap. The hot water flowed over my back as I sobbed. All my pent up emotions spilled over and came pouring out all jumbled up. My dislike for Edward, my frustration about Bella, the secret about the pack, my conflicted emotions about mom, and the hurt about Bella brushing me off so often. Everything that had been hurting inside me for months finally hit a tipping point.