Rag doll

Chapter 13

"Where is she" Beth moaned, she had been waiting for me in the dressing room in that morning for the first time since Jesse
arrived a week ago. We were in the kitchen making breakfast together.

I had simply kept busy, I had tried my best to train and teach Jesse but sometimes when I looked at her all I could think about was Poppy. I knew Jesse needed my support but I felt like I had none to give.

I was sure Jesse surly knew something had happened, you could feel the tragedy's aftermath in the air. She hadn't asked me anything which I was glad about as if I had to talk let alone think about Poppy I was scared I would break. How could I even explain what happened, I didn't know.

"Give her a chance Beth" I whined "It's only been a week, "

"Poppy was never late" she muttered buttering the toast for breakfast. Beth had been acting meaner than usual today, she hadn't acknowledged Jesse at all while since she arrived.

"Do you know how Lucy is ?" I said staring to pour some orange juice, "I haven't seen her all week"

"She hasn't left Calum's room. Calum's basically looking after her, what is the fucking point in this" I understand how much harder this was for them both, which is why I was happy to pick up all the slack.

"I just wish we knew what happened, I think about it constantly" I changed the subject, I couldn't stop myself, It was the only thing I had thought about all week.

"I don't know but I don't really want to know" Beth picked up Michael's tray and started walking out the room "It wont change anythi-" suddenly there was a clatter.

I turned around and saw Jesse and Beth with orange juice, milk, cereal, all over their dresses. Everything on the tray had been spilt onto the floor. I laughed to myself, for the first time that week.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry" Jesse said starting to pick everything up "It was an accident"

"So were you" Beth snapped back, she rubbed her dress trying to get the orange juice out.

"Beth she didn't mean it" I stood up for Jesse as she hadn't done anything wrong. It was an accident.

"I can't fucking do this" Beth shouted before walking away and slamming the door behind her "Poppy was fucking lucky. I can't keep being left behind"

Jesses picked up the tray and started to clean up ignoring what Beth had said.

I couldn't move. I didn't know how to react or say. I didn't know if I agreed with her but I think I did. I hadn't heard her name in a while. It had been so much easier to pretend while it was hustling Jesse and I.

Jesse looked up at me leaving the broken bowl and scattered cutlery on the floor. I had no idea what she was thinking but I began to tear up.

"Poppy?" Jesse saying her name made me cry harder "What does she mean replaced. So I replaced her but what happened ? Why did she need replacing"

My mind was now blank, I felt like I couldn't get enough oxygen into my lungs anymore. I shook my head slightly and tried to answer her but I couldn't find any words.

I grab Ashton's tray off the counter and started to walk quickly to his room. As I walked up the stairs and wiped away my tears.

Calum suddenly turned the corner almost walking into me. I somehow manage to react and pull the tray back in time, to avoid Calum walking into it.

"I'm sorry Ava, I didn't see you" he chuckled "I just came to get breakfast, because you know. Are you okay Ava"

"I'm fine. How is Lucy ?" I shuffled by him trying to not look directly at him so he didn't see I had been crying.