My eyes travel around the beautiful view of the Barcelona streets as I lean on the fence rail of my balcony. Suddenly, the whole city lights up and I close my eyes a bit, I never got used to this. I gaze over the sky full of shiny stars and the full moon takes my attention. I wonder if anyone is looking at it and thinking about the same stuff I am, if anyone is as confused as me. My mind is still going through the things that happened that day, still repeating those words and the warm feeling they gave me. I feel two strong arms softly pull me back and I lean on his chest, feeling his warm breath on my neck as he pulls me closer to him. The coldness suddenly disappears as his arms pull me further into his chest and I feel his head on my shoulder.
"Having those thoughts again?", he softly asks and I look back at him, his eyes are shining as they are looking over the shiny street view from my high balcony.
"I'm trying not to think about it", I quietly answer and he looks back at me.
"I see", he gets lost in my eyes and so do I in his.
I feel his warm lips peck mine and he backs off.
"I'll wait for you inside, meu amor", he softly says and I hear the glass door slide open and get closed again. A cold breeze hits me again and I hug my coat tighter to be warmer, who would've guessed that weather here would be so cold in spring.
*
The water of the deep river splashes every now and then and I lean a bit over the bridge fence. You could see the reflection of the sun in the bright flowing water. People pass next to me but I ignore every accidental touch of an attempt to avoid me in this tight bridge pavement area. Birds chirp and light the atmosphere of this chilly spring day. People walking along the river and holding hands. I grab a little stone and throw it inside, the water ripples but stops quickly after. My mind travels to a long time ago, not long enough to forget but long enough to hurt. Every time I tried solving it out it failed and I keep going back to old habits of thinking about her.
'I'm sorry...but I don't remember...'
'How? How could you forget about us?'
'What do you mean?'
'You want to say that-that you don't remember me?'
'No, I don't know you...I'm sorry if I disappointed you but, but you might be looking for someone else...that looks like me...'
I was completely sure that it was her. I could never forget the warmth her smile gave me and how her eyes would squirt when she smiled or giggled. It was her, my girl. Everything started off with a phone call.
'Hello?', I answer my phone hesitantly.
'This is Zach, yes?', I hear a familiar accent.
'Yes, and this is?', I pause.
'This is Neymar, it's about Zoe', he says and his words pierce through me like an arrow. He had told me to come over to Barcelona to see her, not wanting to tell me why. I wasn't ever sure why but I did it anyways. I remember having all sorts of thoughts come and go over my mind that couldn't let me go, just like chains that kept pulling back further into the depths of darkness.
My heart stopped beating for a second when I was told that she was in the hospital. I still remember how shaky my arms were when I entered the room she was in, lying on the bed. The room walls were colored bright yellow, as I remember. All I could do was watch her lie down, words simply didn't want to come out. I remember asking Neymar what happened and he was very hesitant in telling me, but I was persistent.
'Are you Zach?', an old man that I figured out was a doctor, asks me and I impatiently turn around.
'Yes, yes I am Zach. Can you please tell me what happened to her?'
