Going Places//Matt Espinosa

04

"Wait...Xavier?" I ask, not believing it. Xavier is Janae's little brother. He got diagnosed with cancer once, and survived. Now, I guess it's back.

"Xay," Janae sobs.

"C'mon, Nae," Madison says. "Xavier beat it once. He can do it again."

"I don't know...how.." Janae replies. She's been known as the 'pessimistic' in our trio, but never this much. Xavier is her rock. He always cheers her up, and he's only 3. Whenever we're at her aunt's house, Xavier is always playing with his toys. He has so many. It's crazy.

"He can. It's not gonna be another episode. It's not." Madison promises. I'm always amazed by her optimism. She's giving stay strong videos/Vines a lot more now. Which reminds me.

"Hey! I know. Tomorrow, we'll have nothing to do all morning! We can make a video! All of us." I say, standing. Madison and Janae look up. I've never seen Janae so shaken. She's always smiling and making smart replies. Now, it's hard for her to speak without taking a quick breath.

"Rose? I dunno if that's-" Madison starts.

"No. No, I'm not gonna let this stop what I love doing," Janae says, standing with me. "A video with the guys sounds great. Where?" She says, smiling like she normally does. I know she's an amazing actor. She smiles like she's not broken. But she is. Maddie and I can't fall for it anymore. Luckily, Janae trusts us enough to tell us anything. We'd never tell anyone if we didn't want her to tell. She most likely won't want Nash to know. She likes him, no matter how many times she denies it.

"You sure?" I ask her. She nods.

"Now, I really need some sleep. Crying takes a lot of energy. Another reason I don't cry very much." Janae smiles, stepping out of the bathroom.

I look over at Madison, who had also started crying. I give her a hand, and pull her up. We walk out, my arm around her. Maddie and Janae fell asleep, but I stayed up, texting Matt.

Matchu: Hey

You: Hey

Matchu: how are you doing?

You: good. We're all making a video tomorrow. Wanna join with the guys?

Matchu: is that even a legit question? Of course!

You: great! We'll see you tomorrow!

Matchu: sure. And one more thing (Nash and Carter are no doubt gonna kill me)

You: its ok. I'm pretty sure Janae and Mads like them too. Hey, I'm gonna go to bed. Sweet dreams, Matt.

Matchu: haha, OK. Youre good...really good. good thing I like you. ;) sweet dreams, cutie

The next day, we woke up and automatically got dressed. I wore a plaid over shirt, under a white t-shirt. I had on acid washed shorts and a pair of Converse. Janae wore a shirt that says: Black Hair, Don't Care. She wore black ripped high waisted shorts and black Vans. She looks up at me, pleadingly.

"Don't tell Nash," she says. "I like him. I know, I'm admitting it--"
"Yeah. We know." Madison says, matter-of-factly.

Janae laughs and pulls us into a hug. We were in the hug for so long, I check my time, and notice that we're already late.

"We need to go, guys!" I say. Yesterday, everyone had tweeted out the same thing: #AskUsAwkwardly for awkward questions. We're making the video at the boy's hotel. We all walk outside, and let Janae call a cab. We climb in the car. To our advantage, he didn't drive as badly as the first one. A close second, though. Close. The driver managed to stop at the red lights, and use a turn signal. We pull up to the familiar hotel, and this time Madison pays. We hop out, and the driver almost pulls off with Janae. We walk into the hotel, and into the elevator.