The Weight of Living | warrior cats fanfic

𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 | 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

eight

the identification

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The air was sticky with humidity, even though it was well past moon-high. Cottonpaw was laid out on his side, licking his shoulder in an effort to cool off. I should get going... He twitched his whiskers and looked up at the waning moon. It has been several sunrises since the Gathering, and Cottonpaw had been spending more time watching Acaciapaw. Even now, it was well past moon high, yet his stomach churned at the idea of leaving her alone. His yellow-green eyes softened as he looked to the chocolate point she-cat as she slept in her grassy woven nest. I wish I could just talk to her. I want to just talk to her and tell her I'm here.

A sigh escaped him, and he got to his paws. Suddenly, a tightening twisted his stomach, and fear jerked at his heart. He didn't even need to look at Acaciapaw to know it was her. Before he could even think, he was already at her side. The she-cat's whiskers twitched, and her paws kicked out as she dreamt. He settled down next to her and touched his nose gently to her forehead.

"It's okay. I'm here... I'm here, Acaciapaw. You're safe," his voice was soft. He thought of warm StarClan skies, the lush golden grass, the swaths of glittering stars. He shut his eyes, sending the dreams of hunting and safety to the young she-cat. As he lay there, sending more thoughts of running through prairies full of crickets and rabbits and wildflowers, he slowly felt himself drift. He opened his eyes, and blinked in shock. He was no longer laying next to his Charge, but rather standing in among lush phlox dotted fields. The blue flower stalks rustled from behind him, and he turned to see a familiar chocolate splotched face. Acaciapaw!

His heart sped up and he felt a purr rumble in his throat. His tail waggled, and he bounded up, tagging her with a paw before bouncing away. Her fur was warm, and he could feel the solidness of her muscle beneath. She narrowed her eyes playfully and bounded forward to tag him back. Cottonpaw twisted away with a mrow of joy, and scampered away through the grasses. Acaciapaw fell in step and chased after him with a purr. He jumped over a pile of rocks, but felt her paw connect with his hind leg. 

"Gotcha!" She smiled. He turned to tag her back, but she had sat down and therefore tapped out of the game. The young apprentice studied his face and tipped her head to the side.

"I feel like I know you," she meowed at last. "You're... familiar. As if I've known you for my whole life. I've never met you though." Cottonpaw blinked in shock. Was he allowed to tell her? Would it be okay? He shuffled his paws and bit at his cheek. 

Acaciapaw took a step forward, reaching a paw up the rockface he stood on. Her chocolate brown nose reached up to sniff at his white fur. 

"Are you from StarClan?" Her eyes glowed with disbelief.

"Wha-- erm... Oh, no! I have to go!" He backed up on the rock, but she lightly jumped up to join him. He squeezed his eyes. C'mon, I need to wake up and get out of this dream!

"Wait, what's your name?!"

He cocked his head to the side. Telling her his name wouldn't hurt... right? 

The prairie grasses and phlox blooms started to flicker, fade, and come to a close. 

"Cotton--" 

He was back in the woven grass apprentice den. Cottonpaw watched his charge blink open her sapphire eyes. Crows cawed in the hazy dawn light. Acaciapaw seemed dazed, and she looked around in confusion. She sat up and stretched out the sleepiness, standing and stretching out each hind leg one at a time. He followed her as she exited the den, only to bump right into Camelliaheart. He had been a little colder since the gathering, but today he had a look of surprise. 

"I'm shocked you're awake already...!" the tom meowed, looking her up and down. Acaciapaw looked around, confusion and drowsiness still clouding her gaze. "C'mon, we're on for dawn patrol." The black and white Pochardpounce alongside the newly-made-warrior Birchmist stood by the camp entrance, preparing to head out. 

"I... had a strange dream...," she started. Camelliaheart whisked her along, and the four cats head out with Cottonpaw trotting after them.

Pochardpounce pricked their ears. "Yeah? I had a dream two nights ago that I could fly through the air and I caught so many birds and fed the entire clan!" Birchmist purred with amusement and added that she doesn't remember any of her dreams. The patrol carried on in the stillness of the morning. Grasshoppers leaped above the grass before disappearing back into the fields. Birchmist and Pochardpounce discussed the best way to use bird feathers for decoration. Camelliaheart had everyone stop so he could point out an osprey nest near a creek's edge, and warn Acaciapaw of the bird-of-prey's potential danger. 

The patrol continued on in silence. Cottonpaw could feel her clouded thoughts.

"Has anyone heard of a white cat whose name starts with Cotton? He may be Cottonpaw or Cottonkit, I don't know...." The patrol froze in their tracks. Cottonpaw's stomach turned, and he wasn't sure if it was just from him or if it was also a feeling rolling off all of the cats around him. 

Camelliaheart was the only cat who dared to speak.

"I'm not sure where you heard that name, but don't bring it up again. We don't talk about Cottonkit." The white and ginger tom had a dark look in his normally nonchalant eyes.

"You didn't know, though, Acaciapaw," Birchmist took a small step toward the apprentice. Why would I be an off limits subject in the Clan?

Camelliaheart swished his tail and sighed, nodding. "Cottonkit was Aldermist and Blizzardstream's only kit. He would've been born not long after you were, in fact. He was a stillborn." Acaciapaw's head tilted slightly in confusion, which her mentor picked up on. "That means when he was born, he wasn't alive. Aldermist took his death very hard, so we don't talk about him to ease her grief." 

The apprentice's blue eyes went wide. Cottonpaw looked down to his paws, and a pale sky blue tinged his starry aura. 

"I... I'm sorry. I just heard the name somewhere and was curious," she murmured. Pochardpounce licked her ear gently.

"It's okay, you didn't know. Just don't bring it up again, especially not to Aldermist." The patrol carried on in silence with mourning rolling off the older cats. Acacia paw held a similar air of sadness, though a curiosity continued to prickle at his belly, and therefore also at his own. He shook it off, his own thoughts trudging through the heaviness of his own departure.

He bowed his head, and parted with the patrol to head back to camp. He decided to spend the rest of the day with his grieving mother. I'm sorry I couldn't stay with you in life, Mother. I hope you can feel that I'm here now. 

A mourning dove crooned a lamenting song, and the tall grass whistled along to the dirge. The call faded into the hush of the fields. Cottonpaw closed his eyes, listening until the song that reflected his own heartbeat — a somber call shared between all.

//

an

I'llllll drop this hereee annnd walk away. Yeahhhh I know it's been a while since I updated... like...... 3 years.......... OOPS! At this rate I may finish in this lifetime, around 50 years from now!! 

lol but for real maybe I'll get on a roll and crack out a few chapter rn!