Cottonkit was born dead. He never even got to take his first breath. As is the protocol for all stillborn kit death, StarClan tasks this tiny tom with watching over a living Clan cat: Acaciakit. Aging alongside this fiery she-cat, Cottonkit must wat...
It was a perfect weather for the New Leaf day. Bees hummed in the air, buzzing along to the purrs and chatter emanating from the ZephyrClan camp. Cottonpaw soaked in the warm rays from the flat stone that rested near the entrance to the hollow, his ears twitching as he picked up on the gossip from the Clan. Pistachiopaw stretched out next to him, his eyes closed as he sunned his cinnamon dappled fur. Acaciapaw was out training with Camelliaheart, but Cottonpaw had chosen to spend the day in camp with his friend, rather than obsessing over her every move. That decision only came after Pistachiopaw noted that he "didn't have to be a burr stuck to her fur."
The two had shared tongues most of the morning: Pistachiopaw was proud to share that his own charge, Sequoiapaw, would be made a full medicine cat very soon, and Cottonpaw gleefully pointed out his mother grooming herself outside the warrior's den. Today was a good day for her, she was feeling less saddened than normal. The changing of the season seemed to have a positive effect on her.
"Oh, there's Camphorwind," Cottonpaw noted. Pistachiopaw opened an eye to see the gray point marked warrior and sat up with interest.
"I'm still so shocked about what he did to his family last moon. It's sad."
"Yes, I know. Oh, there's his new mate, Hemlockwish." The pair watched the sleek white she-cat exit the herb-scented medicine den. Cottonpaw felt a sickness to his stomach at the sight of the two, born from his protectiveness of his charge. Hemlockwish proudly strut up to Camphorwind, and a strangely sweet scent followed her, making Cottonpaw feel a bit more at ease for some reason. She murmured something to him, and as he smiled broadly, she pad up to the nearest group of warriors sharing tongues.
"I just wanted to share that I'm expecting Camphorwind's kits!" She closed her eyes and basked in the congratulations from her clanmates, and Camphorwind purred as he accepted the well wishes by her side. The smell made sense— it was a queen smell. A sudden wave of cold emptiness rolled off a cat and knocked into Cottonpaw with a sudden weight. It was the feeling of grief. His attention sharply went to where it came from: Pecanwhisker. The cinnamon tabby she-cat slipped out of camp without anyone the wiser... that is, except for Cottonpaw's noticing.
"Pecanwhisker must be so upset. He moved on so fast.. I wonder how Acaciapaw will take it," Cottonpaw murmured. Pistachiopaw let a small sigh of agreement.
"I feel terrible for Pecanwhisker. Fallowbark and Sequoiapaw have been giving her guidance the last two moons in the medicine den, but she's going through so much. You'd better be ready to help Acaciapaw— she's quick to use her claws. At some point, she needs to grow out of that."Pistachiopaw meowed, and glanced over to Cottonpaw with a seriousness in his eye.
Cottonpaw's fur grew warm, and he clenched his jaw. Acaciapaw was always making him look bad, like it was his fault she was such a bramble-brain. He got to his white with Pecanwhisker in mind, and gently slipped down the rock face, setting off toward the camp's bushed wall entrance. Before he made it far, another pang of sadness caught his senses. To his left, it was his mother Aldermist. The she-cat had stopped washing her foreleg, and instead had curled up and turned away from the camp's center.
Forgetting about Pecanwhisker, he scampered over to the gray tabby queen. I think it hurts Mother to see another cat expect kits. I wish I hadn't died. Then she wouldn't be sad all of the time.
He gently sat down at her side, letting the stomach-churning emotions wash over him. His eyes grew hot, and he shut them tight to fight back the stinging tears. He lurched backward... it was so much!
No, I can't back away. Acaciapaw wouldn't back down from something. This is my purpose. He pressed his muzzle to her side for the first time. His heart lightened at the thought... this was the first time he had ever pushed up close to his mother and felt her soft, warm fur against him. It wasn't unlike when Hollydapple would snuggle with him when he was a kit, though his mother's longer fur was much softer and had a scent like wildflowers caught in it.
The sadness ebbed away as he pushed thoughts of wild prairie flowers and frolicking through meadows and sunny days to his mother. He sent her the feelings of joy that came with running through the fields of StarClan. He felt her being to relax ever so slightly. He felt a similar feeling radiate off of her. A feeling that was warm, that was endless and full and gripping. A feeling of love.
"I love you, Mother," he whispered into her fur. A small cry left the queen.
Sudden paw steps sounded, and the impressive frame of Blizzardstream appeared. He curled up close to his mate, eyes full of worry.
"It's okay, Aldermist. Are you thinking about him again?" She nodded, and he gave her a few licks on her cheek. The she-cat gave a small smile, which caused him to pause.
"Yes, but... it's different this time. I... I know it's silly, but I almost feel like he's here, right now. He doesn't want me to be sad."
Blizzardstream purred and pushed his head against her's, whispering comforting words in his beloved's ear.
Cottonpaw let his head rest against his mother's side, listening to the soft words exchanged between the two. It was as if some missing piece of himself had been found and slotted into place as he basked in the love and care between his parents and himself... though, he wasn't really there. A sadness returned to his heart, though it came only from within. Something new joined it, too: an angry itch of resentment.
I should be here for real. I should be here alive, and my family would be whole and full of joy. The warm pricks of tears returned to his eyes, and he buried his face in Aldermist's fur, carful not to pass through her with his ghostly pelt.
Both Aldermist and Blizzardstream sniffled and cried with him, grieving still for their lost son.
A family together, yet distantly apart.
//
an
Another chapter!! I worked hard and made this (below), art is NOT BY ME!!! It's from the popular ClanGen game, there's a website where you can create your own kitties using the pixel art from ClanGen (which I can't link here due to wattpad restrictions, but you can look it up!) I just made a little sprite for each kitty in the Clan. It was fun for me :—) ClanGen is what made me remember I love writing about these silly kitties, so I wanted to make some little icons of ZephyrClan! Maybe at some point I'll make a little pixel background of ZephyrClan camp.... But def not today lol. I tried to make it look like they were all in the camp and like talking with their friends and family.
This also serves as a sort of Allegiances for this point in the story.
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