The Optimist

thirty seven

Love and appreciate your parents. You never know when they'll pass, or when you'll pass, so be grateful for them. Tell them you love them. -A message from Mocha to you. By the way, "shoutout to all the pear." -Rick Ross.

Nadia

. . .

The pillow fight left me gigging, even in the shower after dinner that night. It was the most fun I'd had in a long time. Despite Dad getting worse, I've been teaching myself to look on the bright side, follow Jacob's path. Chresanto was allowed one night to stay over each week and he'd come and tell me some stories about Jacob.

One personal favorite was what Chresanto called "The Pee-cident", a story starring Jacob where, once, he'd peed on himself while riding on what you'd call 'a baby ride' at the annual fair. It left me entertained for three days and Jacob pouting and obliging that it wasn't funny.

I just laughed.

Today, we were going to visit Dad. Again. Mom and Nathan and even Jacob know these visits make me depressed, but they insist I 'see his condition for myself' and to 'get out of the house.' I reluctantly agreed, mostly because Jacob renewed my hopes that he might actually be okay somehow.

Now, he walks along side me as I peer up at the gray sky, frowning. Another thirty feet and I'll be entering my least favorite place: the hospital. "What do you see?" I feel Jacob grasp my nerve-stifferned hand, a cloud stifling the sunlight.

"Gray." I mumble, stepping into the hospital.

. . .

"He's still in critical condition. He's only getting worse, but we're doing the best we can. We did, however, see little improvement." Dr. Morgan sighs, scribbling something into the clipboard clasped in one hand.

"A little improvement is better than nothing." Mom smiles to Dr. Morgan and she returns it. She clicks the pen, placing it in her chest pocket before leading us inside his room. Immediately, I want to walk out when I see the sight.

I thought he was in too many wires the first time, but I was mistaken. Now, his whole body is lined in IV's, a breathing machine is covered over his nose and mouth, and with his eyes shut and tucked under the cover, he almost looked..

De- Peaceful.

He looks at ease with life, despite his life threatening condition. I stare harder and notice a tiny smile on his slightly wrinkled face.

"Do you see that?" I feel around tap at Jacob's shoulder, not taking my eyes off Dad's smile. I hear Jacob wilt around and come up behind me.

"See what?"

"This." I walk over to Dad's bed and point at his chapped lips. I look over to Jacob, awaiting his response. He silently stares at me like I've gone delusional, one eyebrow arched in utter confusion. I think I have, but I could sworn I saw Dad smiling.

"He looks peaceful. And he's smiling!" I beam, reminiscing my thoughts to Jacob. He shakes his head shooting a pitied smile at me. I shake my head, knowing what he's doing.

"No.. no." I mumble, backing toward Dad as he walks toward me in quick, steady steps.

"Nadia.." Mom groans, holding Lucy at her legs.

"No!" I shake my head furiously now, turning over to hug Dad tightly. I feel Jacob's grasp around my waist and he tugs me back, so I hold on to Dad harder. I'm not letting go. I hear Lucy's tiny gasp. I know she's never seen me act this way but..

"I won't let him go." A fresh tear escapes my eye as I lay my head on Dad's chest, feeling the pattern of his labored breaths. It relieves my neck ache as I relax it on his chest. I feel his heartbeat, too.

It's like his recovery.

Slow..

..Barely beating..

.. Almost stopped.

I shake the thought away, fighting the urge to climb in Dad's low adjusted bed. I want to stay forever, thought I know I can't. Even Dad isn't hugging me back, I want to embrace him and never let go. Ever.

Silence fills the room behind me, and for a moment it feels like it's only Dad and I in the world. The feeling quickly washes away when I feel a slight tug at my legs. It takes all my strength to let go, partly because I don't want to and partly because of the weight of Dad's back preventing my arms from easily slipping from around him.

Reluctantly, I frown and look down at Lucy, her eyes wide with worry. "Are you okay?" I peer around and realize she's the only one in the room.

"I'm.. I'm fine.." I mumble. Realizing Jacob isn't in here, I add a small "I guess." I return my attention back to Dad. Suddenly, his chest heaves up and down.

Beep! Beep! Beep!

His heart rate runs off the charts and his eyes open, slowly, crackly. I watch in silent amazement as he stares around room for a second, mostly at the ceiling. His eyes finally meet mine and he smiles, twitching his leg.

"Na.."

I rush to him, embracing him again. He attempts to lift his arm and I quickly retreat to let him do whatever task. For some reason, I don't immediately rum to get a doctor. Lucy gasps yet again. He reaches for the breathing mask, trying to tug it off.

I shake my head and hurriedly stop him. Silently, he scolds me, but playfully.

"Dad. You're.."

"Awake?" His smiles, his voice is a low mix of rasp and concern.

"Alive."