Lover

Chapter 14: Fine Line

Authors Note: play the song and enjoy :)
——
It's been two weeks since James has been over, he hasn't reached out and neither have I. I've been busy with practices and special performances, this job is kicking my ass. I haven't been feeling too hot either I think I'm getting a cold and I'm gaining weight which some of my teammates have pointed out.
I'm making tea when I feel my phone buzz.
George: card night at my place?
Me: I'm not feeling too well, maybe next time.
George: oh come on! I haven't seen you in a minute, swing by.
Me: I'll try :)
I have my tea in bed while watching television. Maybe I should go. I don't want to be rude to George, who knows maybe next time I won't get invited.
I get out of bed, take a shower, and change into tight black jeans and a floral top paring it all with booties. I wave out my hair and do some makeup to cover up my dark circles.
I look brand new. It's raining outside and I think it's ironic.

I knock at his door and he opens the door.
"Glad you could make it!" George smiles giving me a hug.
"Can't disappoint you." I smile walking inside. I see Nicky with his girlfriend and walk over to them.
"You look cute." Ava, his girlfriend says.
"Thank you! I think I'm getting a cold." I say.
"That's funny, Jimmy has one." George says making me smile awkwardly.
"Poor thing." I finally say. I hear someone cough from across the room and our eyes meet. I gulp before looking down at the ground. I shouldn't have come.
I go to the bathroom and James follows me.
"What do you want?" I ask already annoyed with him.
"I really like you Katherine." He says. "But I can really hate you sometimes." Ouch
"James can we not do this right now?" I ask.
"Then when?" He challenges.
"Okay fine." I sigh letting him inside the bathroom with me. "I don't like that you said I was guarded. I've had to keep my guard up all my life because I don't trust my mom and I've never been able to trust a lot of people. I was my most unguarded with you. James you know me better than anyone."
"And yet I feel like I'm the one fighting for this connection Katherine. You don't give me anything. I feel like I know your body more than I know you." He sighs. "I feel like there's a fine line you won't let me cross."
"Well I don't know what to tell you other than this is how I am." I say trying to hide the hurt in my voice before leaving him alone in the bathroom.
Everyone gathers at the poker table and we play a couple rounds.
"I'm out." George says leaving James and I in the game.
"She's bluffing." Joe points out.
"Oh I don't know, she's a pretty good liar." James says making me roll my eyes. I toss my cards showing a perfect royal flush before standing up.
"I'm gonna go. Thank you for having me George." I quickly say before walking towards the door.
"Wait-" I hear Nick call out after me, but if I stay they'll all see me cry. I go out to my car and drive away. It's pouring and I'm totally distracted. I don't see the light turn red, so I run it. I hear a loud honk before screeching tires and glass breaking.

"Miss Bosa." I hear someone say. I open my eyes and I'm blinded by the lights. I try again this time managing to open them a bit more.
"What happened?" I quietly ask.
"You were in a car accident." She says. "You were brought to the hospital." She explains.
"Fuck." I sigh closing my eyes again.
"The doctor will be in with you shortly."
I open my eyes when my door is opened.
"Kate." James sighs coming into my room. "Oh thank god you're okay."
"What are you doing here?" I angrily ask.
"I heard and I came as fast as I could." He says sitting next to me.
"Are you okay?" He asks.
"Get out."
"No, why?"
"Because I fucking said so." I say. "I don't want to see you."
"You don't mean that." He shakes his head.
"You didn't want to see me for two weeks, now I don't want to see you." I remind him.
"Katherine I'm sorry." He says holding my hand. I'd move mine but it hurts. "I acted immature and stupid, I wasn't thinking clearly and then this happened and it put shit in perspective for me."
"It's a little late for that. You let me spend two weeks in misery and now you come in when I'm injured expecting me to forgive you?" I ask loudly and wincing in pain.
"Katie." He drags gently.
The doctor comes in and we stay quiet.
"I'm Doctor Cooper." She says. "So Katherine you were in a car accident and suffered some injuries."
"Yay." I weakly say. I see James take a seat as she continues. "We're looking at a broken elbow, dislocated shoulder, bruised ribs and I'm very sorry to say that you've miscarried the 8 week fetus." She says and I feel lightheaded.
"I what?" I ask and hear myself in an echo. I feel nauseous.
"You were pregnant. You didn't know?" She gently asks holding my hand. I feel my eyes sting and I shake my head.
"No." I reply in a shaky voice. She continues to talk to me but I'm not paying attention. I turn to look at James whose mouth is slightly open he looks so lost, so devastated.
"I'll be back shortly." I hear the doctor say before the door shuts.
"Katherine?" James asks in a breathless tone. "It was our baby." He says in a broken voice and a single tear rolls down my face. I can see his eyes get red and glossy before I actually start crying. How could I not know? How could I be so reckless? He holds me as gently as he can and I can't see myself stop crying. A nurse comes in to give me a sedative and I fall asleep in James' arms.

Jimmy's POV
"We're looking at a broken elbow, dislocated shoulder, bruised ribs and I'm very sorry to say that you've miscarried the 8 week fetus." The doctor says to Katherine. I feel my heart stop as I do the math in my head. We were together eight weeks ago, we made the best love I've had in my life and I'm just now finding out something came out of that act of love. And it's gone.
I don't think I'll ever forget the look on Katherine's face when she was told. The shock, the sadness, the despair, the guilt, so much went through her beautiful face I didn't know how to feel.
The doctor leaves and she looks at me.
"It was our baby." I say and she just loses it. The way she cries breaks my heart. The only thing I can do to help her is hold her and I don't even know if she wants me here. Even if she didn't, I wouldn't leave. This was my fault. I was immature I was the one who unfairly called her out, it was all on me. My tears blur my vision, but I don't want her to see me crying.
A nurse comes in and sees the way she's crying and shaking so she gives her a sedative so she won't hurt herself. She falls asleep so quickly it's like magic.
I kiss her forehead before going outside to the waiting room where all the guys stand.
"What happened?" Joe asks and the tears well up in my eyes. "Jim." He presses.
"Dude what happened?" Nick asks.
"She's okay, she has a bruised ribs, broken elbow, dislocated shoulder and.." I drag off.
"And what?" They yell.
"She had a miscarriage." I say before sinking into a chair and covering my face. "She was pregnant with our baby, and I didn't even know, she didn't even know, and now he's gone." I say as I shake my head. I wipe my tears away and they all share my sadness.
"She's devastated." I tell Nick who pulled me aside.
"Were you two even planning?" He asks.
"No, she always said she was on birth control." I say.
"What the fuck man." He sighs. He's not mad at me I think it's just the situation.
"How is she now?" George asks.
"They had to." I start before pausing. "They had to sedate her." I finish as best I can. The guys all sigh and Nick looks like he's about to cry.

We around for an hour before a nurse comes out.
"For Katherine Bosa." She announces and all of us stand up. "She's awake, one at a time please."
I look at Nick who gives me the go ahead nod.
I walk into the room and once her eyes meet mine she tries to smile.
"I'm sorry." She says with a sad smile.
"Don't apologize, you have nothing to be sorry about baby." I assure as I hold her hand.
"I mean it's not like you would have wanted to be a dad yet." She shyly says.
"Of course I would have!" I say. "Especially with you, children are a gift, but Gods choices are never wrong."
"You would have?" She's obviously surprised.
"Yeah." I smile. "We're gonna be alright Katie." I smile before leaning in to kiss her.
"We'll be alright." She replies.