Lover

Chapter 28: Behind closed doors

Why would he bring that up? He knows how I feel about it.

I don't think we have a sustainable relationship, everytime I think everything is going good we just keep getting hit with blows. And I'm all for fighting for the ones I love, but I'm exhausted. I love him but it's starting to get to the point where I don't think loving him is enough to stay.

I pack my things all night and call Debbie, god I'm the worst. It's 5am, but she answers.

"Is everything alright sweetie?" She groggily asks.

"No." I tearfully say, "can I crash at your house? I promise I won't be long. I just can't be here."

"Oh sweetheart of course you can. This is your home too."

"Okay, thank you so much Debbie, I owe you."

"Not at all, I'll be waiting." I load my things in the car and go back into Jimmy's loft. I set my key on the kitchen table and leave for good.

The drive to Debbies feels eternal, maybe because I haven't slept, but who knows.

Debbie helps me bring my things inside and shows me to her guest room.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No." I sigh. "I want to sleep right now."

"What are you going to tell Coach Sue?" She asks as I take my shoes off and lay in bed.

"I'm quitting the team, tell Sue for me please."

"Bosa's don't quit." She quotes me.

"No, but Love's know when to remove themselves from situations." I mindlessly say before I doze off.

I wake up and see it's 2pm, holy shit. I head out to find Debbie gone but food on the table, she's the best. I check my phone seeing missed calls from James, typical. I delete them before I have breakfast.

I look at my phone again seeing the 6 voicemails he left. A big part of me is telling me not to listen to them, but another voice is telling me to. So I do.

"Katherine where did you go? Why'd you leave, call me back please." One.

"Baby I'm sorry I was irrational, we'll figure this out. Call me back." Two.

"Why did you take your things baby? I don't want us to be over. I know I was mean last night, but I didn't mean it. We'll work it out. If anyone can make it work it's us. I'll be better just please don't do this." Three.

"Baby you know I love you. Please just come home and we'll talk it out." Four.

"I'm getting really bad anxiety Katherine. I don't want to call Nick, but I will if you don't call me back." Five.

"Katherine we need to be grown ups about this. How can our relationship continue if you run away when things get rough? call me back please" Six.

How the fuck is this suddenly my problem? He was the one who wanted to break up to preserve his precious reputation and what not. I'm angry and irrational when I call him back.

"Katherine!" He answers, sighing heavily. "Where are you? Where is all your stuff? Why did you leave?"

"How dare you make this my problem? I was not the one who gave you a fucking ultimatum. You did. You made it very clear you do not give a shit about this relationship and if you don't why should I?"

"I made a mistake Katherine. Can we meet up and talk?"

"Why? We're talking right now." I answer.