I took a long bath. A warm, relaxing, filled with scented candles and rosewater then I unplugged the plug and let all the water drain in.
I wrapped my body with the softest towel I could find and walked into my closet. It wasn't too big but neither too small. It's like my legs had their own mind and took me to the corner of the closet then went weak, making me drop on my knees.
My hands involuntarily dragged a small bag. It was black and there was dust all over it. I wiped it with the towel which was no longer wrapped around my body and then unzipped it.
It's all there.
My red dress and my sandals. I took them out with my shaking hands and clutched them dear with my life. My shoulders jerked as I choked on a sob but no tears came.
I wore them. I wanted to wear them.
After all he did buy it for a special occasion.
The dress was ruined from my waist. There was a huge cute on my abdomen side and dried blood, my dried blood was sticking on it near my knees. The dress was just hanging on my body. It was too loose for my fitting and I saw how much weight I had really lost for the first time. The sleeves were slipping from my shoulders and I feared that the dress might slip off from my body.
Just like they slipped.
I still don't know who brought this dress back from the hospital and placed it in the bag. I had found this on the day I moved here and kept it hidden in here.
My fingers touched the corners of the cut and then touched the scar right inside it. I had many creams to remove all the scars from my face, arms and legs and those creams did remove it, but I did not want this scar to be removed from my body. It was the reminder and the reason for my baby's loss.
The glasses had scratched my other parts of the body but a huge glass shard had pierced my abdomen and almost touched my baby. It had killed it.
I walked in front of a mirror and saw myself. I wasn't smiling. There was no shine in my eyes like I had that night. My hands stroked my belly like I did that night except there is no life growing in me.
I waited for the tears which were brimming up in my eyes would fall on my face and burn or pierce.
They did nothing.
I closed my eyes and sighed in exhaustion.
I walked into my study, closed all my files, put them inside their respective drawers and cleared my table. I took out the photos and my ultrasound which have been under my desk for so long and spread them on my table.
Each photo is a special memory and I couldn't get more time to make more of it.
Time to join.
My hands shook hesitantly as they pulled the drawer and took out the pills.
Hesitantly? Do it. No second thoughts. He is waiting for you holding your child...
Tears were falling on my face but I needed them to hurt me but they didn't do anything. I slammed the box of tablets on the table and started scratching my face.
"WHY AREN'T YOU HURTING ME?!" I screamed, scratching my cheeks. "HURT ME!"
I'll stop them.
My eyes snapped open and my head whipped everywhere to find the owner of the voice.
I realized it was a strange voice echoing in my head. I knew that voice but I knew that the person is nowhere here.
"GET OUT!" I screamed again, gripping my hair in frustration. My heart started rummaging in its cage and my throat went dry.
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His Bitter Cupcake
RomanceMaria Thompson's life couldn't get any better when she found out she was pregnant, but when a road accident took away everything from her, she went into depression. Two years later, when she finally decided that she was now ready to give up her life...