My Guardian Angel

#7

#7

After a long eerie silence, I nudged him.

"Now would be a really good time for you to say something, you know? To my sort-of-confession?" I whispered, embarrassed to the core. It took all my energy and self-esteem to just say that much. The moment I said it, though, I regretted it.

He laughed. At least he tried to. It sounded more like a forced snort. I reached for his hand to comfort him, to silently assure him everything would be fine. Me, however, oh I was dying inside unable to control myself from hugging him till my last breath.

"I'm sorry, Aria. I can't stay." He said.

Those six words stabbed my heart with six piercing needles. I didn't let him know that though. He had more to say and I didn't want to ruin it. My insides were crying out in pain, not prepared for another loss.

"I want to stay. But I can't." he continued. He tightened his grip on my hand and I leaned on his arms, facing downwards. Tears were rushing out and I didn't want him to see them just yet.

"I know I told you I'd be here for you but I didn't think we would end up this way. Hell, I hated you the moment I saw you."

I gulped. He hated me? Wow, of course he did. It shouldn't be a surprise but it was. Somehow I didn't like that... at all.

"But everything changed so fast. I began liking you and I shouldn't have. It's been like just a few days and I should've known better than falling..." he cleared his throat. "I should've known better."

I noticed his sudden dodge from 'falling' but that was not what was bothering me at all. My heart began pounding in my chest like a time bomb as I began comprehending what he was trying to say. If he really did like me what was stopping us from being together? Why does he have to leave tomorrow itself? It couldn't be Ron. He would kill to see me have a life. Is it his family? Or does he actually have a girlfriend?

"What are you thinking, Aria?" he snapped me from my thoughts.

"Is it your family?" I blurted out, my voice breaking. Oh my God, why am I so damn fragile? Why can't I just keep it together instead of breaking down every now and then?!

"Oh dear, no, no! They would love you, I promise." He said, pulling me closer to him and comforting me. "Don't dwell so much into this. It's not what you think it is."

"You have a girlfriend!" I stated. As soon as those words left my mouth, I just wanted to dig a hole and bury myself into it. Could I be more pathetic?

Surprisingly, he laughed. Not the forced kind, but a genuine, gentle one. He sent chills down my spine by holding my face in his hands and kissing my forehead softly. I willed myself not to shake or overact. In reality, I loved it. I was in fantasy land already building up a castle of dreams for us.

"I'm trying so hard to stay away from you and you make it so hard for me!" he said, still holding my face in his and speaking to me directly. I wish I could see him right now.

"I'm sorry?"

He chuckled. He dropped his hands to hold mine again and we were back to the old position, my favorite one. I was leaning on his arms and I never felt so home before.

"So, you'll stay?" I asked hopefully.

"I won't lie to you, Aria. So no, I won't stay. All you need to know is that it's not because I don't love you, because I do. I love you more than any damn thing on Earth and I would kill anybody to just be with you but I can't. I just can't."

"Just tell me why and I will never bother you again."

"You will forget about me. I don't see the point of disappointing you already. Please don't force me."

My blood begins to boil and I started getting pissed off at the moment. What kind of drama is he putting on? It was killing me. I pushed him away from and got myself up.

"What are you trying to do, Nathan?! You are already making it so hard for me!!" I screamed at the top of my voice and turned away.

He caught my hand before I could take another step.

"You'll fall if you go there." He said in a soft voice.

I pulled my hand away from his and sat on the ground holding my knees together.

"Please, just tell me. I can understand. Please." I begged him softly.

I felt Nathan's presence in front of me and he reassured it by placing his hand on head softly.

"Do you trust me?" he whispered.

"I do."

"Ok, then let's get you a goodnight sleep and ready for your surgery. I'll be with you. I'll stay."

"Really?" I asked, earnestly.

"Yep. It's getting cold. Let's get you back to your room."

I jumped up and hugged him. He was surprised as he didn't return the hug just then. After a few seconds though, his hand were wrapped tightly around my waist. I cried into his chest for a few more minutes before he took me back to the hospital room.

"Stay with me today." I said, as he gently laid me on my bed.

"Ok."

He informed it was almost 11 at night when we had got back from our little 'beach drama'. I made room for him in my hospital bed which was thankfully, way too big for me alone. He lay next to me leaving an inch I guess, between us. Oddly, I didn't feel awkward at all. Surprising myself, I scooted closer to him and abandoned my pillow for his chest. It was hard, but perfect for me. It was the perfect position for me to be happy and strong. Somehow, his presence itself was more than enough for me to be elated. At first, though I could sense his hesitation, he later put his hand on my head, rubbing my hair softly.

"I know this is our last night together." I whispered, fighting back the tears.

He didn't respond but his silence proved my statement right.

"It's ok. I won't nag you about it again." This time, I meant it. I already felt much stronger about the whole farewell thing.

"I love you. You should know that." I said, finally, before closing my eyes.

"I love you too, Aria. So much." He whispered back, and I felt his soft lips on my hair.

Smiling, I drifted to a peaceful sleep.

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