Jump In (boyxboy)

Chapter 15

Chapter 15

    I fall into Finn. I feel his chest melt into mine as his hands reach up into my hair. His lips feel like static against mine and I can't help but pull him closer and closer. Our mouths move together soppily and drunkenly. It's as if we've never kissed anyone before when in reality we're just both so drunk.

    He moans and I can feel the divine sound rumble through me. I wrap my arms around his waist and I can't help but smile. He's so amazing. I've wanted to be this close with him for the past six weeks so badly. His sides feel so nice in my hands and his own fingers feel like they're trailing fire across my skull. I feel fully alive and all my senses are completely focused on the boy in front of me.

    My feelings grow stronger for him every day. I've never felt like this with anyone, not even Trina.

    Trina.

    Fuck!

    I whip my head away from Finn and take a few steps so I'm no longer leaning on the shed. My hands reach up so I can bury my head in my hands.

    "Fuck," I say sadly, almost in a whiny way.

    "Atlas?" Finn questions breathlessly, still leaning on the shed behind me. I can't even look at him right now.

    I force my eyes to look up at his and guilt consumes me. I just cheated on my girlfriend. I just cheated on my girlfriend. Holy shit.

    Finn's dark eyes are filled to the brim with concern as they watch me. I bite my lip and bow my head down in shame. I wish he didn't have to look so incredibly sexy right now. His lips are red from kissing and his cheeks are pink from the cold. These mixed with the fact that his hair is messy in the most amazing way is making it even worse.

    "Atlas, what is it?" He takes a step forward me with his hands reached out and I take a step back while shaking my head.

    This is all so wrong.

    My reality is finally hitting me. I'm literally attracted to a guy. I swallow down the bile crawling up the back of my throat and take another step back away from him. I feel like I'm going to throw up and not because of the alcohol.

    "Listen, I have a girlfriend." I say finally and Finn's eyes soften with a matching frown.

    "I know," He whispers, his own head bowing down in shame.

    "And, I'm not gay." I state grimly.
   
    This causes him to raise an eyebrow at me, "You could've fooled me."

    "I have a girlfriend, who I love. I'm not gay." It sounds like I'm trying to convince myself more than him but I don't even care right now.

    "You might love her, but we both know you're not in love with her. You want something more Atlas. You know it. I know it. You've felt it this whole time, I know you have. I can feel it." Finn says, taking another step towards me.

    "Stop," I say firmly. "I was confused, I'm not some fag who goes around kissing other dudes." I cringe at my own use of the slur, but I need him to stop. I can't have this conversation right now. Not ever.

    Finn's eyes widen at my use of the nasty word and he shakes his head soundlessly and disappointedly. "Whatever, Atlas. Just, whatever."

    I watch him as he begins to walk away. My heart is dropping to the bottom of my stomach right now.

    "Wait, Finn! We're still friends right?" I call after him pathetically.

"Fuck off, Atlas." He mutters, giving me one last look of disgust before turning around and walking back into the party.