Anger Is A Girl's Best Friend(I Am Not Okay With This fanfic)

Make New Friends/The Beginning

   I sat slouched down in the chair, my feet placed up on top of the guidance counselor's desk, and blew out cigarette smoke, not even bothering to look in the chair next to mine, as someone else sat down. Honestly, I couldn't give two shits who the hell it was. Even if it had been the President himself, nothing was gonna make me stay in that office if I wanted to get up and leave. Ms. Capriotti obviously knew this, as she told me,"If you leave now, you're giving in to your monsters, Valerie." I rolled my eyes sarcastically, and snickered, before replying,"What monsters? Lady, you don't know shit about me, and I'd like to keep it that way." My smile faded, as she told me,"What happened to your family is not your fault..Maybe talking to someone will help you control that attitude of yours." As I opened my mouth to tell her to piss off, she continued,"Oh, I don't mean me, Miss Benson..I think it would be good for you to make some friends, and Sydney here has a lot in common with you." At the name Sydney, my heart skipped a beat, and I slowly turned my head to the chair next to mine, to find none other than fiery redheaded Sydney Novak, and found her glaring right back at me. See, we occasionally saw each other in the halls at school, or in the street, and we lived a few houses down from each other, but we'd never talked before. Her red hair was matched by her fiery temper, which, as the counselor had said, was something we shared.

    The other thing we shared wasn't something I liked to talk about, and yet, the guidance counselor had the nerve to say,"You both lost someone important to you last year, and I think maybe you two could help each other. Losing both your parents to that horrible accident causes you to lash out, Valerie, and to isolate yourself.." At that, I stood up, and muttered,"Fuck this..I'm out. If Syd wants to be my friend or I wanna be hers, we could do it on our own time. Just leave me alone, lady." I stormed out of there, my temper flaring like a hot flame, and, as I passed by the lockers, I punched them as hard as I could, denting the metal. The pain didn't bother me much, as my knuckles started bleeding, but what did bother me was that Ms. Capriotti had been right. I had isolated myself completely, making myself an outcast and hated, so I wouldn't have to deal with the constant wave of sympathy and apologies about my family, and my temper- Well, it was starting to get really out of control.. But I wasn't always that way, and I didn't want anyone to know that, or they wouldn't stay away from me anymore. And for most of my life, I had pretty much been on my own..So I guess what I'm really trying to explain is that I was scared of letting anyone in, that I might feel something other than solitude, anger, and pain, and I couldn't deal with that. That's why my smart mouth always landed me in trouble, because it had learned to have a mind of its own..

    I wrinkled my nose in disgust later on, as our biology teacher began explaining, of all things, an erection. "And yes, in arousal, there is an increase in all sorts of things, including adrenaline and blood flow." God, I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. "And then the blood flow continues down, and gets trapped within the corpora cavernosa." Like, seriously, who the fuck really needs to know any of that shit, anyway? "The penis expands, and this is how the Homo sapien male is able to hold an erection." Boys are so disgusting, sometimes. I sighed, knowing what was coming, as our resident all star jock raised his hand. "From my experience, Mr. File, the holding of an erection, is uh, far more successful in the hands of a Homo sapien female." Mr. File sighed, and replied,"Very funny, Mr. Lewis." Brad shrugged, and told him,"Just talking science." I rolled my eyes. More like talking about his sex adventures with half the female population at school, but whatever. Mr. File continued with his lesson. "As a female gets sexually aroused, there is also blood flow to the genitals-" He was interrupted by Brad's most likely gay but closeted best friend, Ricky, turning around to face none other than Sydney Novak, who I almost forgot I had every class with, due to both our silence during lessons, and said,"Oh, come on, fire crotch, laugh. That was funny." Syd wrinkled her nose in disgust, and I told him,"Leave her alone, dickweed. Not everyone has your warped sense of humor about penises, which is probably because they all have bigger ones than yours." The whole class went dead silent, and looked at me. Shit, why did I say that? Now they knew I existed. I awkwardly slumped down in my seat, and rested my forehead against my desk. It was already going to be a long, shitty day, I could tell. I heard Brad whisper,"She doesn't know anything about penises..She's a dyke, or haven't you heard about her and Jenny Tuffield?" My head snapped up at that, and my temper once again boiled to the surface, my heart thudding loudly in my head. A faint ringing began in my ears, and the next thing I knew, Brad's notebook was on fire, and he was screaming like a five year old. I looked down quickly, confused, and almost convinced myself that somehow, I had done that, but that wasn't real. There was no such thing as fucking superpowers, and everyone knew it. If there was such a thing and I had them, why couldn't I have saved my parents? Obviously, I was just reading too much into what happened to Brad's notebook. As the bell rang, I shook my head, and stood up, lost in the thought of how it all began, as I made my way to P.E...

    It was a hot summer day, and we were driving through town, rock music blaring through the radio, and I squinted my eyes, staring up at the bright blue sky. I lived for days like that, beautiful and clear, no worries or clouds to be seen, just relaxing and having fun. Mom began digging around in her purse, and sighed. "James, I seem to have lost the map. I have no idea where we're going." Dad laughed softly, and replied,"That's alright. Though we're new in town, I'm sure someone can help us out." I smiled slightly, and stuck my arm out the window, the wind softly tickling my sunburnt skin, and told them,"I'm perfectly fine with just driving around like this. It's a perfect day." My smile faded, as I saw a tall man dressed in all black standing on the street corner, watching us, and then, terror flooded my veins, as I saw the shining piece of metal in his hands, and heard the loud explosion, like a car backfiring. Seconds later, red liquid, warm and sticky, coated my skin, and my mother began screaming. The next thing I heard was the crash of glass, and crunching of metal, and then, another explosion, more red splashing against my skin. Red was everywhere, and was all I could see, as I went flying out the window, my body smacking hard against the hot asphalt of the road, pain roaring through me like a tidal wave. I felt my eyelids growing heavy, as sirens sounded closer and closer with every second that passed, and stared up at the blue sky, now tinted with red, the scarlet blood on my skin affecting the colors I saw. And then, the loudest explosion yet was heard, and I turned my head weakly to see our car burst into flames, fire and heat blending in with the summer weather perfectly, and that was all I knew, as I slipped into darkness; Heat, red, summer sweat, and pain. Apparently, I was unconscious for around two weeks, and when I woke up, I was bombarded with question after question, but no matter what I said, no onr would believe me. There was no man at the scene, they said, no gunpowder residue, and my parents? They were nothing more than ash by the time the fire was out, and no bullets were found amongst the remains. They said I had suffered head trauma, and that's why I believed what I had seen was real, and after all, who was I to argue with a doctor who had a fucking degree? Especially after they studied my medical records, and found I had been in three different psychiatric hospitals for paranoia and seeing things..But no matter what I tried to tell them, it was no use. Theh had already decided I was crazy, and that was that. Know what? They were all a bunch of fuckers..I knew what I saw, but couldn't prove it, and as soon as I got out of the hospital, they shipped me to a foster home in town, with alcoholic, abusive assholes who were homophobic to boot.

    That's when I started staying to myself, and losing my temper. I couldn't help it..Every little thing reminded me of my parents, and led me to believe that someone, for some reason, had murdered them, but I would never find out why, because theu left me. If only they'd told me someone was after them, maybe I could have saved them, but that's my life. A fucking psycho ass shitshow, all tied up in a messy bow around a shitty town filled with shitty people. Day after day, I found ways to quiet my rage, whether it was vandalizing some part of the school, sneaking into places thay were locked up and screaming till my throat was sore, smoking weed and getting wasted until I passed the fuck out, or fighting with my "parents". The problem was, it was never enough..There was always that tiny little spark inside me that only needed a little bit of gasoline to cause an explosion, whether it be someone saying something wrong, someone annoying me a tiny bit, or even people just accidentally running into me, anything could set the fire ablaze, and that's how I ended up being sent to the guidance counselor. I had broken half the football team's noses for wolf whistling at me, and gotten caught smoking a joint in the girls' bathroom, which, not surprisingly, I didn't regret either of. After all, what else was I supposed to do to stop the hurt and anger? Play sports, join band? Please..Give me a fucking break. We're all gonna die one day, and the last thing I wanted to be known for was having the most trophies, or first chair in tbe band lineup. I wanted to do something with my life, but when you have a fucked up life, how the hell do you achieve that? Answer:You find someone just as fucked up as you to help you put some meaning back into said fucked up life; You get- Ugh, this is so lame. You find a fucking friend..