Anger Is A Girl's Best Friend(I Am Not Okay With This fanfic)

Regret/Detention

      I slowly opened my eyes, and blinked. Where the fuck was I? Why did my head hurt so much? And why the hell did every part of my body feel like I'd done a month of exercise? I rolled over, and came face to face with a sleeping Syd, then felt the color drain out of my face. Oh, fuck. Oh, I'd royally fucked up.. How the hell was I gonna fix that? You can't take back sex, no matter how bad you want to; And in that moment, I wished I'd never even let her drag me to her damn house. I climbed out of her bed quietly, and yanked on my clothes, not caring that they were the same ones I'd worn the day before, needing to run away from what I'd done. As soon as I finished getting dressed, I raced out of her house like my ass was on fire, and didn't even care about my backpack being at home, as I raced to school. Screw the backpack; I'd made a huge mess for myself, and there was no getting rid of it, or fixing it. And, as I laid my head on top of my desk, putting my arms on top of it, I heard Syd walk into class. Fuck, how had I forgotten? We shared almost every class together.. And unluckily for me, Dina and Stan also happened to have that same class, which made everything worse. I cautiously peeked out from my hiding place, and caught Syd glancing between me and Dina, as Mr. File began handing out tests. Test? We had a test? I racked my brain in a panic, but couldn't remember ever studying for it. Great.. The list of shitty achievements were just racking up around my head, and I was drowning in them. It was all I could do not to run and hide in the bathroom for the rest of the day, my heart wrenching with agony at the look Syd shot Dina. But I'd known, hadn't I? I knew there was no chance Syd would ever choose me.. And yet, I'd gone and fucked her, and that wasn't the worst part- I had told her I loved her. I could never snatch those words or that private part of me back from the void of despair welling inside of me, and it hurt.

   Of course. I hadn't really realised the extent of my dumbass decision the night before, as it occurred to me that Syd had managed to convince me that she gave a shit, and that she felt something towards me other than friendship, and that was more my fault than hers. I'd let her in, way too deep under my skin, and now, she was stuck there, writhing inside my heart and soul with a vengeance, as the truth hit me like a truck. Syd Novak loved Dina, and I was just- What the hell was I, anyway? Not a girlfriend, obviously. Not a crush, either. Friend seemed too painful to consider, but sister seemed to be more of an accurate description, the way she treated me. Then again, that description fell short, too. If I was like a sister, she wouldn't be acting the way she was towards me.. Maybe I was just fucking nothing. That one made more sense to me than anything else. Yeah, that must be it.. I was just a toy, a thing to use when she needed me, and that- That was what hurt me most of all. I swallowed hard, and lowered my eyes to my test. What the hell? None of the questions made any sense to me, but then, I'd never been great at memorization, anyway. And like I said, hadn't even studied. Didn't even have my notes, because I'd left my backpack at home. Fucking perfect, Val. Just lovely.. I settled for scribbling down random answers in the hopes of getting even one right, and tossed in a few foul words and doodles, then flopped my head down onto my desk, waiting for my suffering to be over, at least for that class.

    I wasn't ready for Mr. File to clear his throat, and nearly leapt out of my skin, shooting up so fast that my head banged against the wall behind me, causing tears to form in my eyes. Laughter sounded quietly around me, and my face felt like it was a thousand degrees, burning with shame. Though there was no way they could, it felt like everyone knew what I'd done with Syd, and were making fun of me, and it was beyond mortifying. Mr. File glanced at Brad, and said,"Hey. How's it hangin'?" Brad nervously replied,"Uh, it's hanging." Mr. File nodded, and snatched up both his and Dina's tests, while Brad asked,"And, uh, how are you today, sir?" The teacher glanced between the two tests, and then, glared at Dina and Brad, and I couldn't help but feel bad for Dina, despite her fucking magnetic hold on Syd. Brad tried,"I didn't do anything wrong." Mr. File asked,"Do you wanna try that again?" Brad replied,"You see, my- My ankle has been swollen, and these pain meds I'm on make it hard for me to focus, and I was-" I muttered,"Your head is bigger than your dick or your ankle", and Mr. File asked,"Something to share, Miss Benson?" I lowered my gaze, gritting my teeth, anger pulsing through my blood, and wanted nothing more than to beat the closest person into a bloody pulp. Mr. File told them, "Detention, after school, both of you. And you'll both receive failing grades on this test." I jumped yet again, as Syd slammed her hands down on her desk, and shouted,"Seriously? Dina's been studying this for weeks! And now Brad cheats off her, and she has to fail the test? I mean, that is such bullshit!"