Mismatched

Chapter 4

We didn't talk for the rest of the meal. It was damn awkward. After my reply, I didn't feel like starting another conversation and he probably thought he wasn't in the place to talk to me since I looked like I haven't forgiven him.

"Thanks for the movie and the dinner," I muttered.

"Oh, it's nothing. This is something I have owed you for the past five years anyway," he replied, scratching the back of his neck. "Do you like the food here? I remember you love sushi. You insisted we come here to eat back then."

I nodded. "Yeah, I remember," I said. "This is where our first date was. I was surprised you remembered. I didn't think you cared about me enough to remember something as trivial as this. To think you'll recreate it."

He grinned sheepishly. "Um, well, yeah. I do care about you. I always did. I know it's very unbelievable but... I had never forgotten about you. I thought about you day and night. I realised that my cowardice has cost me such a wonderful woman."

"Save it, Jace," I replied, holding out my hand to stop him from saying any further. His words will only make me feel more attached to him. Things would be a lot easier if we just pretend that nothing happened between us.

"No, I have to say it," he said firmly. "Even though I know I made a mistake, it's too late. I already broke your heart. I hate myself for doing that for my own selfishness. I'm so sorry, Belle. I took away five possible years of our time together."

I inhaled deeply. "It's okay," I replied.

"No, it's not," he argued. "I hurt you so badly, Belle. I was so stupid. I— I count myself very lucky to be able to watch a movie and have a meal with you again. Heck, I count myself lucky to be able to talk to you again! If you don't ever want to see me again, I understand."

"We can be friends," I declared. "Even if we can't be lovers, we can still be friends. We can go back to how we used to be before everything." What the hell are you doing, Belinda? Why are you giving him a chance? What happened to dine and dash?

He contemplated for a moment. "Is this coming from the bottom of your heart? Have you forgiven me? I feel that I don't deserve your forgiveness. The hurt I caused you is simply too deep. I deserve every bad thing you said to me."

"No, you don't," I muttered. "That was five years ago, Jace. I think you're more mature now. You've grown. Who knows? Maybe the current Jace will become my second best friend! The old Jace should be left in the past where he belongs."

"I don't know what to say," he murmured, averting my eyes.

Same, to be honest. "It's fine," I replied.

And the awkward silence has returned once again. I don't intend to break it one more time lest I give him the wrong signal. I don't want him to think that we still have a chance. If anything, we can at most stay friends. Things will never be the same ever again.

"I tried contacting you a week after I bailed on you," he suddenly said. I have no idea if that broke or added on to the tension.

"Your point is?" I asked.

"I don't know. I had second thoughts a week after I told you I was sorry and it was over. I reflected on my actions and realised how stupid I was. I tried texting you, calling you, but nothing could get through. I couldn't find you on social media," he explained.

I frowned. "So you are pushing the blame on me."

"No! I'm not. Let me finish," he replied. "I tried contacting your best friend, Yvette, and asked her to help me talk to you but she said that I had broken your heart into millions of pieces and you hate me to the moon and back."