I glared at the woman in front of me with so much hatred. As I stared at her I can't help but feel nothing but anger shoot through my body.
The woman who left me and my father when I was nine years old. The woman who has not checked up on her "daughter" in 10 years. Not a phone call, text message, a letter, hell even a fucking email. This excuse of a woman who couldn't even show up for her ex husbands funeral. This woman stands in front of me with a smile on her face like everything is good.
"Bumblebee" she repeats, which breaks me out of my trance.
"Do not call me that" I slowly speak with so much venom in my voice that God himself would be offended.
She clears her throat. "I'm sorry, Beyoncé"
"What the hell are you doing here?" I question, getting straight to the point.
"I... I just came to check up on you" she stutters. "See how you were doing."
"You came to check up on me?" I slowly repeat to make sure I'm not crazy and I heard what she said. She nods her head. "You are full of shit"
She gasps. "Beyoncé I know our circumstances aren't the best, but I do worry and think about you."
"You weren't thinking about me when you walked out on me and my dad. You weren't worried about me when my dad died and I basically had no one. You weren't thinking too hard about me because I went nine years without any source of communication from you." I spew out at her. "So you, your worrying and thinking can get the fuck from in front of my door." I yell with tears in my eyes.
Before she could respond I hear Shawn behind me.
"Everything alright?" He asked, still wiping the sleep out of his eyes. "I heard a lot of yelling."
I look to Shawn then my egg donor in front of me.
"Yeah everything is fine. Just this poor excuse of a women showed up at my door this morning worried about me" I sarcastically respond.
"I know you hate me right now Beyoncé and probably have every reason to, but the disrespect stops here. Regardless of the things that have happened, I am your mother and you WILL respect me" she expressed with anger in her voice.
"Respect?" I question while sarcastically laughing. "I have more respect for a crackhead walking the street than I will ever have for you" I respond with tears running down my cheek. "Now get from in front of my damn door and don't ever come back here again" I voice before slamming the door in her face.
I close my eyes and place my back against the door before letting out a loud scream. I slowly slide down the door to the floor and bring my knees to my chest.
"Bey...... are you alright?" Shawn questions.
I shake my head and begin bawling into my knees. I feel Shawn sit down right beside me and pull me into his arms. Now usually this would calm me down, but I am crying way to hard right now.
I gasp for air in between my heartbreaking cries. Slowly feeling myself losing oxygen.
"Shawn. I can't breathe" I wail out in between my gasps for air. He grabs my hand and places it on his heart.
"Your having a slight panic attack, you have to calm down Bey or your going to pass out. Listen to my voice and follow the rhythm of my heart. Just listen to my voice babygirl" he gently says while rubbing my back.
