waiting for you // l.r.h. [COMPLETED]

I'm sorry

"I was, I swear I was, just... after the show." I explained. I hate the way he looks so upset. I can see the tears in his eyes as he takes in all the information that just hit him like a truck.

"you were going to let me go out there, in front of all those people who knew about me getting cheated on?" he asked, raising his voice slightly, making me want to die. I hated seeing him like this, and I knew he was right, it was stupid and I should have told him.

"dont yell at her, its not her fault your girlfriend is a cheater." michael spat, wrapping his arms around me in a protective manner.

"she's my best friend she should have told me!" luke retaliated. after a few seconds it turned into a full blown argument between all of us, screaming at each other.

"shut up! as of right now, all of you are on vocal rest until the show!" I've had enough. I didn't want to hear luke blaming me for something that was out of my control.

"you can't make us do that!" luke yelled back. I turned and gave him the most dreadful look I could manage.

"I can and I will." I said before leaving the room.

I sat on the couch in the green room in silence for the rest of the afternoon as the boys quietly walked in and began getting ready. I wanted to apologize but it wasn't me who should be apologizing. this was something out of my control.

luke walked up to me and I immediately looked away. he kept trying to get my attention, without speaking and I finally gave in.

"what do you want?" I huffed.

he grabbed my arm, rolled up my sleeve and began to scribble something. he was kneeled in front of me and I could smell his cologne as he quietly wrote on my arm.

when he finished he looked up at me and waiting for me to read what he had wrote.

I'm sorry

"I'm sorry too." I sighed as I stood to hug him.

"I hate when we fight." he mumbled as he buried his face into my neck.

"you're supposed to be on vocal rest."

"screw vocal rest." he spoke again, I felt his lips on my neck as he spoke. I squirmed knowing that he wasn't doing it on purpose.

"are you going to call brie?" I asked, pulling away from the hug.

"no, I don't think so. I'm not ready to talk to her yet." he said. just them he leaned closer and kissed my forehead, catching me off guard. "I know you were just trying to be a good friend. I'm sorry for getting mad."

back on the tour bus I laid in my bunk listening to the snores of my best friends around me. I tossed and turned but no matter what I couldn't fall asleep. it was a 9 hour ride to berlin and I knew I had to get some sleep but I couldn't so instead I pulled out my journal and began to write.

I hate her for what she did to you. I hate that she has the most perfect guy in the world and all she does is take advantage of that. most of all, I hate that you fell in love with her. why was I not good enough? I've always been there for you. do you think I'm ugly? what is wrong with me? was she the better choice? I want to be good enough for you. I want to be what you want.

"vanessa, are you awake?" lukes voice spoke as I poked my head out of the curtain to see him standing in the dark, wearing gym shorts and a black tank top.

"I can't sleep." I whispered, scooting over so luke could take a seat next to me. instead he laid down and wrapped his arms around me so we were cuddling.

"I think I made a mistake." luke admitted. I turned to look at him and his blue eyes looked deep into my plain brown ones.

"what mistake did you make?" I asked softly as I watched his eyes moved between my eyes and my lips. suddenly the air was thick and I was wondering if I was imaging things again.

"I can't tell you." he sighed. "I'm just confused."

"is there anything I could do?" I asked as he laughed quietly and shook his head.

"no, not with this problem."

I nodded and rested my head on his chest. falling asleep to the feeling his chest rising and falling and he breathed softly under me.