Avenger Ships

The Kissing Hand (Stucky)

**Inspired by the children's book, The Kissing Hand.

Bucky quickly pushed open the door to the waiting room. He allowed himself to take a breath when he saw Steve smiling over a magazine at him, relaxing in one of the chairs.

"All done?"

Bucky nodded. Steve reached for his hand and they started the walk home, Bucky in silence and Steve rambling about some new exhibition at the Museum of Modern Art. Steve knew how drained therapy sessions made Bucky and repeatedly assured him that he didn't mind the one-sided conversation. He didn't expect Bucky to listen or respond - just filled the silence so Bucky wouldn't get too stuck in his head.
And wasn't that amazing? Steve was everything Bucky could ever want. He'd believed in him when specialists weren't sure if his memories would ever be restored. He knew exactly how to calm Bucky during moments when his PTSD reared it's ugly head. When Bucky accidentally hit Steve during an episode, he shrugged it off and proved to Bucky that he didn't think it was a big deal. He didn't expect Bucky to be the same man or that their relationship would pick up right where it left off. He was patient and kind with the pace Bucky set while also reminding Bucky how beautiful he found him, arm and all, when Bucky was feeling most insecure.

Steve was perfect. And that's why there was always a nagging voice in the back of his mind that his best friend would leave. Yeah, Steve's friends in modern times were all messed up, but Bucky clearly took the cake. He had tried to kill Captain America, it didn't matter if Steve said it didn't count.

Bucky had talked to his therapist about his fear that his issues would drive Steve away. When his memories came back, the pain of finding out Captain America was dead rushed back through him. If not his issues, his clingyness because of said issues which was an issue in itself. She reminded him that Steve, an honest and direct man, had never indicated that he found Bucky's past to be a dealbreaker. He knew what he signed up for and he loved Bucky for it. The sessions calmed Bucky down about a lot of things, and he was making slow progress on his recovery, but as soon as he left the safety of the therapist's office, his mind immediately started wondering if Steve would be waiting for him at the end of the hallway.

Steve had been to every one of Bucky's session. In fact, he'd been everywhere with Bucky. The only time Bucky was ever alone was when he was at home, and even then Steve usually wasn't gone for more than six hours. Steve introduced Bucky to the rest of the team, who he was already connecting well with, but it didn't change the fact that he was dependent on Steve.

To be fair, Steve had his own problems to deal with. He was a bit more attached to Bucky than normal as well. The memory of Bucky falling from the train was still fresh in his eidetic memory.

They crossed the threshold into their apartment and Bucky released the last bit of tension he involuntarily held whenever he went outside. Steve went to the kitchen and made some coffee for both of them. He sat down next to Bucky and looked to see if the other man was paying attention.

"Buck?"

"Yeah." Bucky glanced at his coffee cup while waiting for Steve to say whatever he needed to. It seemed serious from his tone, and Bucky was doing his best not to assume the worst.

"I have a mission. It starts in a few days. I'm going to leave at 5 on Tuesday morning, and I'll be gone for two or three days." Bucky wrung his hands nervously and looked back up at Steve. "They need Captain America for this one."

Steve hadn't gone on any missions longer than a day since Bucky returned six months ago. Mostly, he'd just been called in to big battles or to destroy HYDRA bases nearby. Clint and Natasha handled all the long intel gathering in Uruguay or the small cells of criminals hiding out in Siberia for the time being.