Too Cliché

Chapter 10: Silent Tears

Ashton glared at Michael. “Stop doing that,” he said with a pouty face.

“What?” Michael said with a laugh, caressing Ashton’s thigh, grazing his crotch which Ashton tensed. “I’m just comforting you.”

‘No! You’re teasing me! Again…” Ashton rolled onto his side trying to hide his bright red cheeks.

Michael pulled him in to a cuddle and began humming a cute little tune into Ashton’s ear. “Torn in two, and I know that I shouldn’t tell you, but I just can’t stop thinking about you. Wherever you are…you can say we will be together someday. Nothing last forever, nothing stays the same so why can’t I stop feeling this way?”

“Why are you so goddamn cute?” Ashton whispered into Michael’s neck, in turn making him tense up. “Please don’t leave me…”

That’s when Michael rolled over and stretched his arms, taking in a giant yawn. He opened his eyes to an empty bed in the shitty motel he had been staying in on the outskirts of town. He had to make the money he had last since he didn’t know how long it was going to take him to find his sister. It had been three days since Michael had left the only real home he had known.

Michael stood and made his way to the bathroom trying to shake the dream from his head. It had been so real, it was like he had actually been holding Ashton in his arms. Giving a light-hearted chuckle, he slid off his boxers and turned on the hot water in the shower. Maybe if it was hot enough, he could drown the few memories he had of Ashton from his mind. Michael knew they could never be together. Michael let the water carry away every emotion he had felt since leaving the house. He let the tears fall and he began to sob. “You’ve held up so long,” Michael whispered to himself as he sat on the cold dirty shower floor. “You’re allowed to cry…” he broke with another sob. Everything suddenly came crashing down on Michael, his childhood, his nightmares, his missing sister, Paul, Ashton…he was so empty, so lonely. He just wanted to feel something.

     Without turning off the water, Michael crawled out of the shower and pulled out his razors. He didn’t want to, but he had to. At least, that’s what he thought. Michael pressed the cold lifeless blade to his wrist and cut slow thin lines across his delicate skin. Beads of deep red began to form along the open wounds. Michael curled up in a ball on the floor after several cuts and continued to cry. He stayed like this for hours.

When Michael finally got up from the position he had taken on the floor, he got in the shower to rise the dry blood off of him. He winced as the water ran over the raw incisions. Michael didn’t linger in the shower, but recalled his dream. He thought of the words he had whispered to Ashton as they lay tangled in each other’s arms.

Michael jumped out of the shower, yanking on jeans as he hobbled over to his laptop. He quickly typed out the words and melodies he thought of. Michael pulled out his guitar and started strumming simple tunes to match the heartbreaking words that were now etched into his mind. He titled the document on his laptop as “Wherever You Are” and dedicated it to Ashton, knowing he would never see him again.

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Luke glanced at Calum’s shaking hands. “Cal, you okay?” he questioned, instantly wishing to take it back realizing how stupid that question sounded.

Through gritted teeth, Calum responded “I don’t like flying.” He didn’t make eye contact.

“It’s gonna be fine,” Luke chuckled. He leaned over to kiss Calum on the cheek. Calum quickly pulled his head back to avoid Luke’s lips causing him to ram his head into the window.

“Fuck!” Calum said loudly. Luke’s eyes widened and he adverted his gaze to the flight attendant at the front of the plane. She made no noticeable motion towards the two teenage boys.

Luke slowly shifted his attention back to Calum who still refused to look at Luke. He had barely said two words to him while boarding. “What the hell, Cal? Did I do something?” Luke said moving his hand as if to comfort Calum, whose hand was now vibrating like a business man’s cell phone with no off switch, but Luke put it back down since Calum didn’t answer. “Cal…?”

Calum’s eyes fell closed as he took a deep breath, “No, Luke. You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m just nervous and scared and I don’t know if we can do this right now. We are about to see your boyfriend-“

“EX-boyfriend,” Luke corrected.

“Whatever!”Calum shouted again, his eyes going wide staring directly at Luke. “This is what I’m talking about! We are going to visit your boyfriend/exboyfriend and we’re like a thing, but not really and it’s like I’m just your rebound, but I have emotions for you, but you’re in pain so I’m trying not to stress you and I’m scared I’m going to lose you to Ashton even though I never even had you and he still owns your heart.” Calum looked out the window after a few minutes of silence. Luke said nothing. Not a single word, not even to calm Calum’s now quivering lip and shaking knee. “I think for now, it’s best we don’t think of each other as an item or even think of each other. At least until after this trip, I think we should be just friends.”

Luke nodded numbly though Calum couldn’t see. “You’re right…” he whispered sliding in a pair of headphones with the volume on full blast into his ears. “Let me know when the plane has landed.”

Calum robotically responded, “Sure.” He let a single tear slip down his tan cheeks.

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AN: Hey guys my chapters are getting depressing, I’m really sorry, but it will get better I promise! Updates are on their way!

THIS IS NOT ME PROMOTING SELF HARM IN ANYWAY AND IF YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT SELFHAMR/SUICIDE PLEASE SEEK HELP

     Iloveyou babettes! Keep reading!

~M. Breen