Charlie didn't understand anything different with Jordan. A mission now undertoned Jordan's actions, speech, heart. Wanted to change the trails of which they were going, and Jordan was more determined than ever.
Unable to get past the miserable fog clouding up the day, Charlie, bitter and tired, ranted about the day's events only to end up at a pitiful self calculation of worthlessness.
"Charlie. Charlie, Charlie - you can't think that!"
Jordan did everything to convince otherwise, and that made Charlie pause.
"I can't?"
Heart pounding in the ears, Jordan sputtered across the words that spun through the mind, not a single one intelligible, until Charlie just gave up entirely.
It was just Jordan not caring again. Unable to come up with answers, as usual.
"Nevermind, Jordan."
It wasn't working. Jordan couldn't convince. Crouching in front of Charlie, Jordan forced eye contact between the two.
Charlie looked so tired, and so Jordan tried more than ever.
"You're smarter than them, Charlie, and you're more compassionate. There is no one more deserving! What is the matter with you!? How can you not see? You're a lot more caring -"
"Fat lot that means from you. Nothing from you means anything. You think I'm caring? After what we do to each other?"
"Well, we're not exactly the posterboard for your relationships. In fact, Charlie, I think -"
"But we're a part! We're loud and -"
"I think maybe -"
"Shut up Jordan! Just shut up!"
Jordan put a hand on Charlie's shoulder and Charlie shrugged it off.
"Listen, everyone's got their knife in my back right now - let me bleed out before you add one yourself, okay?"
"Charlie, I'm -"
"Leave me alone. Why don't you ever realize that sometimes I can't take this? I can't, I don't think I can bear another disappointment right now."
Jordan never really thought about the whole factor of disappointment, but there was no clearer a label to describe what Jordan did to Charlie.
"I'm sorry."
"Yeah. Sure."
Charlie still thinks I'm trying to go in for the kill.
Why are you the only one who gets to show kindness, and it not be seen as an attack? Am I really such a criminal to you?
"I can't keep this up anymore. This malicious relationship: it's gone too far. You don't even believe me when I try to be kind to you, it's always looked upon as a double edge. I can't take it, not anymore."
